What I Think About--Keepin' it Real

A few years ago there was a corny little reality show that Matt and I got sucked into watching (and without a doubt, we would have won if we were on it!).

The show was Here Come the Newly Weds.  Basically the premise is to put a bunch of newlyweds together in one house, have them do marriage challenges, and then vote on who gets to stay.  It was pretty comical (especially since the real challenges come when you've been married for seven years and your son falls out of the crib at the same time your daughter pukes up corned beef and you've got to get up early in the morning for a meeting but you still pull together as a team to clean and love and comfort).

Anyhow, one of the couples were Cody and Dawn Freis, pictured below.  They were lovingly nicknamed "Ken and Barbie" by their peers.  Not hard to see why.   Now they aren't exactly my type (I prefer dark hair, green eyes, and smiles that aren't quite so large and toothy) but I think we can, in general, agree that they are a pretty good lookin' pair.  What this picture doesn't show is Dawn's "Barbie" body complete with long legs, thin waist, and big boobs.  Why am I going on and on about the Freis couple?  I have a point; I promise.

During one of the newlywed challenges, the brides had to find 5 things they would change about their appearance and they guys had to determine what their brides would choose (this is pretty dangerous territory).  The other women were not quite as attractive as Dawn and quickly chose their 5 flaws.  But so did Dawn.  In fact, for someone who looked so perfect, Dawn had no problem pointing out her imperfections.  The other women actually made comments that if Dawn had 5 flaws then they were really in trouble.

Don't we do this everyday?  

I can think of five women off the top of my head who always look good and put together, whose kids always behave, who seem to be so happy with their marriages, are confident about themselves, and are in line for the Mother of the Year Award. Do you know these women too?  The women you always compare yourselves to?  The women who, despite never meaning to, reduce your self-esteem to mere rubble just by having their hair and make-up on by 9:00 am?

At times, I feel like I'm the only one who is insecure and trying to gloss over my inadequacies.

Then I saw this.  My friend Molly, who has a black belt in keeping it real--really, she wore a green 1980s sequin prom dress with a white T-shirt and Argyle knee highs to work on St. Patrick's Day, showed me this video last Wednesday night during life group.

I'll admit that upon first seeing Katherine it's kinda hard to watch her.  I mean, here's a former model who is basically my age with serious health issues--troubles walking, missing a part of her brain, vocal problems, paralyzed face ... it's pretty heartbreaking in a world where what's on the outside is what "really" matters (sad but true).

But then you hear her perspective, that she is nothing more than the physical manifestation of what I most people feel.

She can't walk but who can walk and feels totally free?
She feels ugly but who is "normal" and feels beautiful?
She can barely talk but who can talk and feels truly understood?
She can't eat but who eats and is ever fully satisfied?

WOW!


I needed this reminder that we all feel broken.  Even those moms who unknowingly make me feel like mush struggle too.

So why is it that we can't be real?  

Friday night my husband, Molly and I went to see the movie To Save a Life.  The acting isn't great.  The plot is predictable.  But my husband called it one of the most introspective movies he's ever seen.

The movie is basically about teenagers dying, literally, to be heard.  Everyone is acting in order to be accepted.  I'd like to write this off as teenage drama but adults do this too.  Everyday I want more, "need" more--I'm trying to impress so I'll feel accepted.  I refuse to be weak before others for fear of the scorn, ridicule, or judgement.  Even on this blog I'm dying to know that my thoughts resonate with someone else.  I hope my followers increase.  Do you do this?  Are you still trying to impress the popular kids at school like I am (15 years later!)?

Remember the Velveteen Rabbit and how he learned that nice houses, a smokin' hot body, being a part of the "in-crowd," good paying jobs, designer jeans and Cadillac Escalades love makes him real?  Do we lack love?  Is that why we can't be real?

I'm afraid we will never know love, from others or God, until we open up and are broken and vulnerable.  I believe we are meant to live in community but is it really community when we only celebrate together?  Is there some unwritten rule that our community of friends can only be about good stuff?  Did I miss the memo that we aren't supposed to let others see our weaknesses or know where we fall short?

When did it become okay to not be real? 

The scorn of "realness" is why we amass houses that are too big, eat too much, wear too much make-up, make ourselves too busy, obsess with our weight/looks/hair/boob size/whether or not we were invited to the party...  We are dying for someone to love us and say we are worthy and we will do anything to get it---even forgo our feelings.  We will sacrifice ourselves on the alter of acceptance.

This is not okay.

And that's why I think we have to be real with each other.  We must make it okay to be vulnerable and show our weaknesses because in doing so, we glorify God.  The Bible says that in our weaknesses, He is strong.  How can I show the world His strength if I won't show it my weaknesses?  How do I encourage someone to put their trust in Him when I don't do it?  How will I teach my children that God loves them as they are, for who they are if I don't believe it about myself?

There is something powerful about being real about who we are because if I'm so together that I don't need God or relationships with others than what's the point?!

If you are reading this blog thinking I'm the paragon of the perfect wife, woman, and mother, I hate to disappoint you.  If you were to come to my house you would see everything in order because I'm nuts.  My kids would be obedient.  My husband loving and doting.  But if you looked closer, you might see that the laundry is not done (which is why that door is closed), that the carpet is filled with dog hair (despite vacuuming several times a week), and the kitchen table needs wiped down (which I've given up on until Pax is 2).  If you talked to me you'd know that I'm struggling with some relationships (in-laws--are we legally bound to these people :o)  ?), that I've always battled with my looks (if only I had platinum blond hair and no muffin top!), and I have troubles controlling my mouth when I'm angry.  I'm not perfect.  There are places in my heart and life that I have a hard time surrendering.  I am broken.  But He is faithful to meet me where I fall short.

You know what's amazing about Katherine's story and the end of To Save a Life and even The Velveteen Rabbit?  It's restoration!  At the end these people open up, become vulnerable, and break down.  Their ugly comes through and ironically, that is what makes them beautiful.  That's what makes them inspirational and loved.  They lay it all on the table and say "I hope you still love me" and we do.  We love them MORE!

*Plot Spoiler* At the end To Save a Life the lead character is with his father.  They've had a bad relationship but they are spending time together--putting it back together.  The boy is being redeemed to his father.  And that's what will happen if we can be real.  If I can be real to you, if you can look past my crazies and my faults, if I can just BE, I will be redeemed to my Father.

And that's what I think keepin' it real is all about!

Tuesday's Too Clean Tip--The OTHER ROOM bag

Have you ever done this?

You start to clean out your make-up drawer and after emptying the drawer of its contents you find a paper clip. So you leave the bathroom and go to your desk and put the paperclip in the paperclip cup.  Under the paperclip cup you find a reminder to call a friend. So you go get the phone and call your friend.  While you are talking on the phone you pull out your magazines so you can sort and organize them and find a dust bunny (or in my case, a dust sasquatch). So you get the broom and start to sweep.  As you sweep under your couch and out comes a nail file.  You put the broom to the side and walk into the bathroom to put the nail file back into your make-up drawer and on your way you end the phone conversation and hang up the phone.  When you walk into the bathroom, make up junk is all over the counter.  When you survey the rest of your house you find magazines strewn about the couch and a pile of dirt and hair in the middle of the floor.  All this mess because you wanted to find a better spot for your deodorant?  Are you kidding me?

This is the adult version of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie except it happens all to often and isn't quite so cute.

If this happens to you, let me offer you a suggestion.  Get an OTHER ROOM or box.

This can be a fancy fabric number or an old shoe box or plastic shopping sack.  You choose.  But next time you organize something (and remember to organize in small chunks never getting out more in one hour than you can put back in that hour) keep this bag/box by your side.  Whenever you come across something that doesn't belong in the room you're in, put it in the bag/box and later when you have completed your task, you can put the the stuff back in the room where it belongs.


WARNING
When you clean out the bag, just put the items in the place where they go.  Don't overwhelm yourself organizing that space too.  If the desk is a mess, put the clip in its spot and move on.  Vow to come back to the desk when you have the time and energy to devote to it.

Why is it Tuesday's TOO clean tip?
A lovely follower contacted me to let me know that I was using the wrong TO in Tuesday's Too Clean Tip title.  The follower suggested I needed to use "TO" and is a TO DO list.  This is true.  However, I call this a "TOO CLEAN" tip because it is a "TO DO" but generally these are extra or excessive ideas from a crazy cleaner.  Thus, my play on words.  TOO is correct, just not grammatically :)

WORD family night

WORD Family Night

Purpose:

In this family night (or day) adventure, we are going to explain how the Bible can help us make decisions about life!

Focus Scripture:

Psalm 119:105

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.

What to Do:

FOOD

First, I suggest making a fun meal as a family.  Generally I like to make themed meals.  Since this theme is about the Word, let me suggest Alphabet Food Night!

During alphabet food night, make as many foods as you can using letters of the alphabet.

My suggestion:  Alphabet soup with apples and peanut butter, raw veggies and dip, and bread.  For dessert make a healthier banana split sundae

Apple slices

Celery Sticks

Carrot sticks

Green Pepper slices

French Break

Peanut Butter

Ranch dressing

Soup (Alphabet soup, no less)

For Dessert: Bananas, Strawberries, Yogurt, granola, pineapple chunks, cherries, chocolate sauce, and whipped cream!

Another option would be to pick one letter—say S—and make a meal of only things that start with that letter:

Spaghetti with squash and salad with strawberries for dessert.

Be creative and let your children help out in coming up with the menu.  And let your children help prepare the meal (even little ones will love putting forks on the table or washing produce) and clean up afterwards.

FUN

The main activity for the night is an obstacle course. 

Prior to starting family night, find a room and set up an obstacle course using ropes, blankets, furniture, boxes, pillows, etc.  Some ideas are to hop from one pillow to another, go through a blanket tunnel, crawl over a chair, etc.  Make the course appropriate for the age-level.

To do the obstacle course:

1. Show your children the course with the lights on.
2. Have your children go through the obstacle course IN THE DARK.  Time them.
3. Now give your children a flashlight and have them go through the course with the light on.  Time them again.
4. Discuss which was easier and why.
5. Explain that God’s Word, the Bible, is like a flashlight because it guides us as we go.  It gives advice, helps us know what to prepare for, encourages us, and helps us not to be afraid.
6. If your children want to, have them go through the course again just for fun. 

Other Activities:

There are lots of other fun “word” activities you can do, especially with older children.

• Play Scrabble
• Do Mad Libs
• Go on an alphabet scavenger hunt (find one object for each letter of the alphabet).

THE END

Memorize the family night verse.

Pray together as a family.

About family night:

In my home, family night is an intentional time of fun and togetherness dedicated to learning about Jesus.  Not your style?  You can omit the Bible verses and discussions and enjoy the food and activities.

What cookin' at my house this week? OAMC March 2010

My friend Debb is having her first baby soon so I am doing a huge Once a Month Cooking event to stock her freezer (and mine).

Here's what's cookin'!

Beef:

Tacos

Enchiladas

            In white sauce~

            In red sauce (make as directed in white sauce recipe except pour red sauce over)

Chili-lime rubbed steak+

Pepper steak~

Asian flank steak*

Italian steak (simply pour bottle of Italian dressing over steak and freeze)

French Dips+

Chili (use recipe on back of seasoning packet)

Chicken:

Cheesey Chicken bundles*

Cranberry Chicken*

Hawaiian Chicken*

Orange Teriyaki Chicken*

Balsamic Chicken Thighs*

Spicy Honey Chicken+

Honey-lime chicken*

Chicken marsala*

Chicken lasagna*

Manicotti~

Chicken Penne+

Pork:

Honey pork chops*
Dijon pork loin*

Honey-pepper pork loin~

Penne with sausage and tomatoes*

lasagna (use recipe on back of American Beauty lasagna noodle box)

*From Don't Panic Dinner's in the Freezer and More Don't Panic Dinner's in the Freezer

+From Our Best Bites (use magnifying glass to search for freezer meals or search by meal name, such as "spicy honey chicken."

~Recipe on this blog

Grocery List:

MEAT	DAIRY	CANNED	BOXED	LIQUID/JAR
Grnd beef—8# Roast—2 Flnk stk—8 Pork chops-6 Pork loin—2 Chix brsts--52 It. Sausage—4# Chik thgs—2 pkgs	3 boxes unsalted butter ½ gallon whole milk 6 oz provolone 32 oz parm 2 bags cheddar cheese shredded 4 bags shred mozza cheese chive/onion cream cheese (8oz)—4 2-15oz ricotta cheese 4 c. small curd cottage cheese 1 doz eggs 16 oz sour cream	Cream of mush soup—2 3—green chilis 2 large cans red enchilada sauce 2—kidney beans 2—pinto beans 6-14 oz diced tomatoes 3—15 oz tomato sauce 2—8oz tomato paste 1# whole berry cranberry sauce 2—16 oz pineapple slices 2—15 oz mandarin oranges chicken broth (8 cups) 2 cans beef broth	Manicotti noodles—2 Bread crumbs 2-boxes onion soup mix 3# penne Am beauty no-cook lasagna noodles--4 3 bags tortillas	Sundried tomatoes Cider vinegar Pasta sauce—4 large 2 low sodium soy sauce white cooking wine marsala wine Lime juice Italian dressing Catalina Dressing (8oz) honey sherry

FRESH 3 heads garlic 2 containers sliced mushrooms 1 bag  yellow onion cilantro fresh ground ginger

FROZEN 4-10 oz froz spinach 6 oz froz OJ

STORAGE Saran wrap Aluminum foil 40 quart zip bags 30 8x8 foil pans gallon freezer bags

SPICES 6pkg taco seasoning kosher salt paprika oregano ground ginger

Please note that these groceries reflect enough feed to make meals for 2 families with 2 adults.  You might need more depending on your family size.  Also, the list is not totally inclusive since I did not include items already in my pantry (like olive oil or flour)

Another great OAMC resource is Once a Month Mom

New Moon

So today is the big day.

The first day of spring!  Hip Hip Hooray!  Of course it's only 21 degrees in Wyoming and there is snow everywhere but just knowing it is officially spring makes me pretty happy.

It's also a big day because it is my sister-in-law, Libby's, birthday.

Who am I kidding?

New Moon is released today!  My sister and her 9 year old son went to the midnight release party and got me a copy.  My folks are hand delivering it late this afternoon and I'm super excited (Matt, on the other hand, is pretty depressed).

It's so bad it's good.

What are you doing this weekend?

Date night In--Truth or Dare

Okay, this was my favorite date of recent memory!

There are Truth or Dare games on the market but they are a bit too much for me (too tacky, too dirty).

We made our own game.

Here's what you need:

• Put the kids to bed. 
• Dress in comfy clothes.  
• Make a comfy sitting area.
• Get 40 pieces of paper (20 for each), 2 pens, a hat, and a die

Here's how to play:

1. Each person takes 20 sheets of paper and writes 10 truths and 10 dares (for a total of 20 truths and 20 dares).
2. Scrunch up the papers and put them in a hat.
3. Rather than picking truth or dare, roll a die. Even numbers are truths; odd numbers are dares. (FYI, I do this because I'd NEVER pick a dare!  Ha ha!)
4. Now take turns drawing out papers and doing what was on them/answering truths!

You can make this sexy and steamy or quirky and fun (which is more our style)!

Some of our dares included:

• rapping a Christmas carol or nursery rhyme
• Doing 5 naked jumping jacks
• Doing a 30 second dance routine

Some truths were:

• If you were going to get a tattoo, what would you get, where would you put it, and why?
• Have you ever passed gas and blamed someone else?
• Would you rather lick a dogs tongue or kiss its bum?

WARNING

This is meant to be fun. If there are issues in your marriage, this is NOT the time to address them (which is my way of saying--don't have truths that say things like: have you ever cheated on me?, etc.)  Also, since you will draw the questions out of the hat, you might draw your own.  Don't put anything in the hat you don't want to do/answer!

Things I Love--Neti Pot

As my dedicated readers know, I was recently sick.  And I'm nursing so my medication use is very limited. Basically what I rely on is Vitamin C, rest, and my Neti Pot.

If you aren't familiar with a Neti Pot let me explain.

A Neti Pot looks like a tea pot.  This is exactly the one I have (I got it for $10 at Walgreens).

When you have nasal issues--dryness, congestion, allergies, stuffiness ... you put a saline packet into the pot and fill it with warm water.  Then you put the spout up to one nostril, lean to the side and forward, and pour water through your sinuses.  Yes.  You pour water through your nose.

The water cleanses your sinuses and clear out mucus (which means you probably don't want to do this in front of anyone).  

I don't smile when I do this.

When you use the Neti Pot you breathe through your mouth so you aren't drowning.  I repeat, you are NOT drowning.

Honestly, there is a little pressure and a strange feeling (like if water has ever shot out your nose) but it doesn't hurt (unless you make your own saline solution with too much salt--which I don't recommend).

With this sickness I decided to put a drop of Johnson Baby Shampoo into the pot with the saline solution to help kill the icky biofilm in my nose.  Worked like a charm.

I know there are a lot of critics and people who would never try this but honestly, it does work.

I LOVE my Neti Pot.  

What I Think About--Sex (A summary)

So last week I just shared my heart about sex and I was surprised by the support I received.  Thank you to everyone who shared insights and encouragement.

A few comments from last week really moved me and I wanted to share them and my thoughts about them. 

The first comment indicated the reader was surprised by my Orgasm post, given my profile biography.  My profile says I’m a God-fearing woman who is a part of a Christ-centered home and marriage.  Somehow in the world today, my love and passion for Jesus means that I am supposed to be neutral about sex (and here I am encouraging everyone to work on becoming more orgasmic with their husbands!). 

This 

               breaks 

                                     my 

                                                    heart. 

As I said last week, I believe that sex was designed by God and created to be pleasurable.  How has something that is a gift from God been so twisted that now God’s people are ashamed of enjoying the gift?  What can we, The Church, do to reclaim the gift of sex from worldly perversion? 

In my opinion, the answer is to talk about sex! 

(Did you just hear the Salt-n-Peppa rap song in your head?  No?  It was just me?  Dang it!) 

Why is it women can get together and complain about husbands, moan about mother-in-laws, laugh about potty training mishaps, seek advice on discipline, share birthing/pregnancy stories, and talk about menstrual cycles and breast milk but when it comes to sex, mums the word?  

Is sex really that sacred or are we just scared to be judged because maybe our struggles or issues aren’t normal?  

Can we talk about sex?  I’m not suggesting we be graphic and share favorite positions but surely women, especially Christian women, can come together to share thoughts, concerns, trials and triumphs in the bedroom.  Sex is a gift.  God called it Good.  Let’s stop treating it as though it is taboo.

The other comment I received was from a woman who is very interested in sex but whose frequency desire is not matched by her husband’s.  This woman refers to her situation as “an anomaly” and really it is treated as such.  Even in my own church there is talk about men wanting it more than women and I even read a blog last week that encouraged women to not say no to their husbands for one month.  

But what about women who don’t have this problem?  What about the women whose husbands are telling them no?  How do we handle this in an environment where Christian women are not supposed to want or need sex?  This is a tough stereotype to crack!

I have no answers to this.  But for those readers who might be the women who would prefer to have sex more than their husbands, let me tell you that you are not alone.  More than one woman contacted me about this.  And a few years ago my life group played a version of “The Newlywed Game” (even though we’d all been married at least 3 years).  One of the questions was “Who wants it more-him or her?”  There were 5 couples.  Of those 5 couples, 3 of the women wanted it more than the husbands.  Now this is not statistically sound or anything but I’d consider our group to be very much the norm so if you are a woman and you’d like to have sex more than you do, I think it is safe to assume other women around you feel the same way (even if they don’t talk about it).

Does anyone have a book suggestion that you can recommend that might help women who would like to have sex more but whose husbands are as interested or are physically unable to perform?

So what can we do?  How can women encourage one another?  How can we open up and be raw and honest about our sex lives? 

The comment lines are open.  Please share.  If you’d like to share “out of the spotlight” e-mail me at: whereisthemeinmommy@gmail.com

Tuesdays Too Clean Tip--DVD Organization

When we moved into our new house I got to design our closets and I gotta tell you, it was dreamy.  In my cleaning closet I purposefully made lots of shelving but with room for my vacuum and floor cleaners below.  It was perfect.

Or so I thought.

Imagine my surprise when my dreamy closet started looking like this!

Are you shocked?  I know--me too!

I feel like I need to justify myself.

Here's what happened.  When we moved we had a TV niche built in above our fireplace.  Great for the TV.  Not so great for the "stuff" that accompanies TVs.  We quickly realized we needed a spot for all of our cords and DVDs and VHS tapes (yes, we still have a VCR and tapes because I refuse to buy DVD versions of Barney that the kids will outgrow in a year anyway!).  My great little cleaning closet became a haven for all the non-sense that didn't have a home in our new home.

Needless to say the closet became a bone of contention in my home.  For whatever reason I was totally unsettled.  So one Saturday organizing this closet was my mission.

I had to be realistic that the closet needed to house items not specifically intended to be there (cords, DVDs, VHS tapes, etc.).  I also had to be creative.  So here's what I did:

1. I bought bins (for large cords groups) and drawers (for phone cords and accessories).  I also got some baskets for cleaning gear and a car CD organizer.  I spent less than $30 at Target.
2. I took everything OUT of the closet and grouped them (phone items, Ipod stuff, camera gear, cleaning stuff, dvds, movies, etc).
3. I tackled individual groups.  I minimized where I could and put items in bins (Ipod stuff in one bin, phone accessories in drawers, camera manuals and cords in another, etc.).
4. The DVDs were the big task.  I took all the DVDs and covers out of the cases and put them in the CD case.  I alphabetized the movies by genre (Action, Comedy, Drama, Family, and Romance).  I left 4 spaces at the end of each genre to add more as needed (we don't buy a lot of movies).

All of these DVDs fit into one big CD case with the exception of kid's DVDs which I put into a smaller, travel sized case.  Now it goes from closet to car with ease!

This was a huge space saver and I was able to EASILY freecycle the empty dvd cases (though plan B was to call schools to see if art teachers wanted them).


Now my closet looks like this!

DVD cases for kids' movies (which I kept because I'll eventually pass them on) and VHS movies are on the very high, top shelf.

The second shelf is used for DVDs (on the far left).  Technology gadget stuff is in the center, and manual bins are on the far right.

Cleaning stuff is on the bottom shelf.  Big bottle cleaners that need diluted are in a basket on the left and small spray cleaners are in a basket on the right.

Ironing tools are front and center and within easy grasp for Matt.  (That's right, I don't iron.  Domestic goddesses such as myself have limits.  Ironing is mine!).

My watering can is also up front for two reasons.  1.  To remind me that I actually need to water plants 2.  The natural light green tone of the closet just makes the watering can look like a useful but cute accessory.  And who says you can't accessorize your closets!?!

Sadly none of these items are labeled because my label maker is out of paper.  Tragic comedy, I know.

Are you emotionally attached to your DVD cases?  Would you ever consider organizing them like this?  How'd I do?

Days of Play--Ooblich!

Ooblich (pronouned Ewww--blick!) was a staple of fun at our house growing up.  And the cool thing is that it provides huge amount of tactile fun at a minimal cost!

What you'll need:
Big bowl
cornstarch
water
food coloring (optional)
ziploc bags (optional)
cups, spoons, etc. (optional)

What you'll do:

1. Put cornstarch in a bowl.
2. Slowly add water and food coloring and mix it together with your hands.
3. Now play!

This mixture gets very hard when squeezed yet "melts" as well.  It is delightful!

For younger children:
This is pretty messy so if you don't want your little one to get too dirty (or you don't want him or her to eat cornstarch) then you can put the ooblich in a baggies.  The results are the same.

For older children:
Allow kids to stir ooblich and pour it into cups.  Let them pour it out on cookie sheets and manipulate it.

Thanks, SD, for reminding me of this good, clean fun!

Travel Bug

The Improbable Housewifeposted this and I had to Amen it (and copy it!).  

I love travel (even though I lamented about DH traveling for work.  Really, I wouldn't complain if I was WITH him!)

Do you have any experience with this bug?

Symptoms include daydreaming of beaches, being without children, margaritas, and hiking boots.

My travel bug started young with parents who wanted to go everywhere in the US and Canada.  They took us on super fun trips all over and I loved it.  I luckily married a man who is equally interested in looking at the world.  Now if someone would just finance our passion ...

With the travel bug in mind, and remembering about past adventures, I have questions!  Don't you love questions?  Please join in the fun and let me get to know you better.  Comment away, blog away, whatever your fancy.  I want to read your answers, so let me know if you're stealing this for your blog so I can hop over there and read your answers.

The Questions

1. Have you ever gone on a trip all by yourself and if so, where?
2. How many states have you been to and which ones are on your list to go to that you haven't visited?
3. How many countries have you been to?
4. Where were you born, and do you still live there?
5. How many states have you lived in and where?
6. Would you take your children on an adventure vacation and where?
7. I would describe my travel bug as...
8. What was the best trip you ever took with friends?

My Answers:
1.  Have you ever gone on a trip all by yourself and if so, where?
      
     I really, really want to say yes to this but alas, I cannot.  Outside of a day trip to go shopping, I've never traveled alone.  I prefer to be in the company of friends or family.  If I go with a group of gals I can be the person "in charge" but I rest a lot easier if I'm not the leader.

2.  How many states have you been to and which ones are on your list to go to that you haven't visited?
  
     I've been to: Washington, Oregon, California, Idaho, Utah, Nevada, Arizona, Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, Texas, North Dakota, South Dakota, Illinois, Missouri, Virginia, Maryland, New York, New Jersey, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Florida, Alaska, and Hawaii.  I really want to spend more time in New England and I really would like to go visit all the old Civil War battle fields.  

3.  How many countries have you been to?
  
    I've been to: Mexico, Canada, Antigua, United Kingdom, France, Germany, Italy, and the Czech Republic (which was my favorite).  India is my travel go-to dream!

4.  Where were you born, and do you still live there?


     I was born in Wyoming and I still live here (but not in the same town!).

5.  How many states have you lived in and where?
   
     I've only lived in Wyoming and Nevada.  Boo Hiss Vegas.  I'm a cold weather person!

6.  Would you take your children on an adventure vacation and where?


     When my children are old enough (which means they can walk longer distances by themselves) I want them to go EVERYWHERE with us.  It is important to me that we do mission work as a family.  If we are talking fun only vacations, then I want to take the kids to climb Kilimanjaro OR to scuba in the Great Barrier Reef (again, we are accepting donations to fund these trips)!

7.  I would describe my travel bug as...


     heavily symptomatic and disrupting normal eating and sleeping patterns.  Carefully, it's contagious.

8.  What was the best trip you ever took with friends?
  
     Off the bat I want to say my trip to Scottsdale, AZ with my family.  Tilted Kilt??  Anyhow, since the real purpose of this trip was taking my mom to the Mayo Clinic I probably can't use this answer.


Runner up--Spring Break in CanCun and the bus trip to La Isla Mujres (and if you don't get that, it's okay.  Only Megan and Melissa will understand and only they need to!)


Don't blog--leave me a comment with one or two of the answers.  I'd love to know!

What's Cooking 3/15-3/21

This is officially my spring break from school!  Yes, no homework for one week!  Finally a chance to procrastinate from procrastination.  Yippee!

Anyhow, even though it is technically a vacation time, my family still prefers to eat.  The last few weeks menu has been so wacky and I haven't made everything so you'll see a repeat here.  Thanks for the patience (Randean).

Monday-Cheesy Chicken and broccoli
Tuesday--Roast and veggies
Wednesday-Spicy Chicken
Thursday-Shredded beef tacos
Friday-Garlic Herb Halibut
Saturday-Easy 1 pan chicken and rice
Sunday--Lime-Chili steak with cilantro-lime rice

Missing Matt

My darling husband is an attorney--part of the 1% that don't give attorneys a bad name.  :)

Anyhow, he's been working like crazy as of late and has been traveling a ton.  I want to be that strong independent woman when he's gone but really, I hate it.  I hate being alone at night and making the bed in the morning.

He left early yesterday morning for Toronto (which means the children and I all got sick).  Therefore, I'm running away to my in-laws house so they can take care of me the kids.

I love my mother and father-in-law but they are no Matt.

Things I Love--Real Simple

Every month I count down the days until I open my mailbox and waiting in there under a pile of junk mail, bank statements, and bills is my delightfully thick Real Simple magazine.

My bestie Kim introduced me to the magazine over nine years ago and I love it.  I love the small quotations on the binding.  I love the crisp fonts, the clever contents, the quirky cover photos ...

When I get my new magazine it become imperative that I find 30 minutes to thumb though it.

I have to read the Your Words section first.  Basically Real Simple asks a silly question every month and people send in their answers.  Somehow many of the responses prove that I have hundreds of kindred spirits around this country!  (And just so you know, Real Simple actually printed one of my responses about two years ago--Tthe question: how do you find motivation to exercise.  The answer: sassy-white Bond girl bikini).


Now to be honest, I get a little irritated with some of the features.  Real Simple is great about having an article titled "Affordable Fashion" that highlights slouchy brown boots for $400 (which might be affordable if you aren't living on one income but even then I'd feel guilty.  Don't they know some people don't make $400 a year!).  There are also too many ads.  However, the new uses for old things sections, the recipes, and the organization tips are totally worth ignoring (or trying to ignore) that J. Crew ad for the heather gray deep V-neck sweater.

Real Simple is the only magazine I subscribe to.  It's my once a month 30 minute escape from snotty noses and "what's for dinners?"  In thirty minutes I've laughed.  I've thought about crying.  I've found a new recipe.  I've mentally taken note of what's in style.  I come away refreshed from my Real Simple and Me time.

1 Real Simple
+
30 minutes
_________
Happy Reagan

If you don't want to subscribe then I highly suggest their website.

What I Think About--Orgasms!

You're probably raising your eyebrows at this post.  Matt thinks it is pretty scandalous because it's a "mom blog."  NEWS FLASH--it's a blog about the roles women play--mom, woman and WIFE.


A survey I read the other day said that 30-50% women are upset by how infrequently they have orgasms.

I started to think about this--a lot.  A ton of questions came to mind.

• Is there some sort of expectation that women aren't supposed to get the same pleasure from sex that men get?  (If 30-50% of men didn't climax on a regular basis I'm pretty sure there would be revolutions).  
• What does this reveal about the relationship between a woman and her husband?
• Is it socially not okay for women not to have orgasms "every time?"
• What affect, if any, does pornography have in all this?

Remember the quote from Outside Providence: "Sex is like a Chinese dinner.  It ain't over until you both get your cookies."?  What happened to THAT mindset?


Freud ruined it.


Freud broke the female orgasm down into two phases: clitoral (pre-pubescent) and vaginal (more mature).    In essence, women who were past puberty and couldn't reach orgasm through penetration considered themselves inadequate.  Thanks for the huge disservice, Mr. Freud because if you aren't self-conscious enough about your body, your boob size, cellulite and your leg hair NOW you can feel bad that you don't have an orgasm the "right" way.  That ought help the mental state in the bedroom.

Fast-forward to the new millennium and pornography is rampant.  Beyond the 50's pin-ups, men now have access to naked women on TV, Ipods, computers ... Sex sells beer and cars and running shorts and dental insurance.  Somehow these air-brushed, fake boob women deceive men into thinking that regular women everywhere are committed to ensuring male pleasure alone.  And I think this can destroy marriages.

In most cultures sex is generally viewed as enjoyment for men.  But I'm gonna be honest here.  I believe that sex was designed by God to be a loving, intimate, and pleasurable experience between a husband and a wife.  I don't think pleasure was intended to be a one-way street.  But that's not how it plays out, is it?  Now sex seems to be about reaching the Big O for yourself--not connecting with your lover.

I think sex has been twisted into a selfish act, not a self-less act.  

Consider 1 Corinthians 7:2-5:


... each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.


This is a deep passage and it is used in a wrong-hearted manner all the time.  Actually, I can visualize some man throwing this verse in a woman's face and demanding sex.  Man, if that is you and you are reading this mom-blog hoping to find a tool to coerce your wife into pleasing you, let me make it clear that this verse does not mean your wife has to submit to your every sexual whim.  If you want to read a verse out of context, I suggest you start with the one about husbands loving their wives like Christ loves the Church. 


To me, this passage is a celebration of sex.  God is saying--"Hey, I made you husband and wife to submit to one another.  To love one another.  To please one another.  Come together and enjoy.  Drink deeply, O Lovers!"

Husbands and wives are designed to come together sexually to please one another.  Wives please their husbands; husbands please their wives.


So what happens when this doesn't happen?


If the survey is right and 30-50% of women feel like they are duped in the orgasm area, I envision marriages of deep-seated anger and bitterness.  Can't you just see the thoughts that would run through the head of a woman who doesn't feel like her marriage sex life is mutually beneficial: 

• "great, more sex for your enjoyment," 
• "sex just isn't a big deal," 
• "I bet *insert name of actor or guy you work with* is a much better lover than my husband. I bet he could really meet my needs ..."

And when this mindset sets in, sex becomes a weapon.  It's used to manipulate, to control, and to hurt.  What was designed to fulfill,       d  e  s  t  r  o  y  s. 


Is this you?  Have you been there?


If you want to know the truth, this was me.  I've been there.


woman with self-image issues + history of bad relationships + rampant pornography + miscommunication + worldly concept of sex = unfulfilled marriage bed


If you've been there--if you ARE there, take heart because a lack-luster sex life can be transformed with a little help from God.  Is it easy?  No.  Is it worth it?  YES!


The change in sexual enjoyment is a process.  It starts with open communication (yes, this means you have to find a loving way to tell your spouse that you'd like to please one another in the sack more!).  It includes making intentional time together (thus, dating one another on purpose).  It includes talking in bed--what works, what doesn't ...


For me what it really took was God reminding me that I am IT for Matt.  It is my high and holy calling to be the sole female who brings him pleasure (and vice versa).  (Is that how you feel?  Does meeting your husband's sexual needs feel like a divine right or a duty?)  God designed me to be Matt's perfect provision and when I grabbed hold of that truth and burned it on my heart, I was freed of the "I'm not good enoughs" that enslaved me. 


An amazing thing happened, the more Matt and I talked about sex and what we enjoyed, the more we explored one another, the more on fire our sex life became.  I thought he didn't want to please me.  He thought I didn't trust him to please me.  What we've figured out is we both desire to please and be pleased by one another.


If you are broken over your sex life, there is hope.  If you are being held back by past mistakes or pornography or cellulite, there is help.  If you want it and your husband doesn't it, you're not alone.


There are resources and people who will help!


Our favorite resource:
A Celebration of Sex 


Some other sources you might like:
Every Man's Battle 
Every Heart Restored
The Sex-Starved Wife (there are also sex-starved husband and marriage books)
Passionate Marriage (not Christian)


So what do I think about orgasms?  They are created for husbands AND wives to regularly enjoy because they are pleasurable, fulfilling, increase intimacy in marriage, and they knit a man together with his wife.


Here's to celebrating the gift of sex and orgasms with our husbands.  

Kim's 1 Pan Chicken and Rice

Ingredients

• 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• 1 box of Uncle Ben's Original Recipe Wild Rice
• Water
• Shredded Provolone cheese (or swiss)

Directions:

• Preheat oven to 350'
• In a 9x13 baking dish combine the rice, water (as called for in box directions), and seasonings.
• Top with chicken breasts.
• Cover.
• Bake 45-60 minutes until juices run clear and rice is finished.
• Uncover and top with a bit of cheese.  Bake until cheese melts.

Alternatives:

• You can cut down the water to 1 cup and use a can of Golden Mushroom soup or Cream of Mushroom to make this a creamier dish.

Too Clean Tuesday--Microwave!

I really like the idea of a clean microwave but at my house, no one--myself included--remembers to cover plates before they get cooked.  Ergo, there is a random mix of crusty pasta sauce, splattered Cream of Wheat, and something else I haven't quite identified.

Shocking.  I know.

When I need to clean the microwave, I let microwave work for me--sort of like a self-cleaning oven.

Here's what to do:

Get a microwave safe bowl and fill it with equal parts of distilled white vinegar and water.
Put it in the microwave and get it cookin' to a rolling boil.
Wipe it out with a clean cloth.

You'll be amazed at the way crusty stuff gets loosened and odors disappear.

Home Made Baby Food?

Nutritious, delicious and a real money saver, homemade baby food is definitely the way to go.  I know you think it sounds overwhelming but you can actually whip up a batch of food pretty quickly.

Here's what you'll need:

• Fresh fruit and vegetables (think quality here--I totally suggest organic!)
• a couple of sauce pans
• a food processor
• mesh strainer (like you would use for a tea or coffee press)
• some breast milk/formula
• ice cube trays (each little cube is 1 oz)
• spatulas
• quart sized freezer Ziploc bags (pay the price for the good kind!)
• plastic wrap

What to do:

1. Wash your fruits and veggies VERY well.  Remember that there may be pesticides on them so really give them a good scrub.  If your food has peels on it, this is a good time to remove them.  
2. Chop veggies/fruit to smaller size.
3. Get water boiling in a sauce pan.  Add fruit or veggies (one type at a type) and boil until mushy.  (You can steam if you desire).  (Remember, not all foods will need to be steamed/boiled.  Foods like kiwi, bananas, and avocado can be mushed without being cooked).
4. Put the fruit/veggie in a food processor and puree.  For new eaters this should be a thin, creamy consistency with no lumps.  If you need to add liquid you can use breast milk or formula (some people mix the formula with the water the food was cooked in since it will have vitamins in it).
5. If you made a food with a peel that couldn't be peeled (peas, blueberries) or that has seeds (blackberries, strawberries), strain the food now to remove the seeds/peels.
6. When the food is cool enough (put in fridge or in an ice bath in the sink to speed this process), use a spatula to scrape it into one of the ziploc bags.  Cut a whole in the one of the bag's corners and fill up the ice cube trays.
7. Cover the trays with plastic wrap and freeze.  When frozen, pop the baby food out of the tray and into labeled quart sized bags. Freeze.

To prepare:

• Put frozen squares into a bowl and microwave.  Test to make sure it isn't too hot!

Good foods to start with:

• bananas
• blueberries
• plums
• apples
• pears
• peaches
• peas
• carrots
• sweet potatoes
• avocado
• squash (acorn or butternut)

Alternatives:

• You can use frozen fruits and veggies if you so desire but I'd stay away from canned goods.
• You can add some flavor to baby food but try to keep salt and additives to a minimum and definitely stay away from seasonings with MSG in them.
• Be adventurous with grains--whole grain pastas, wild rice, quinoa, cous cous, etc., are great as baby food too (and baby is never to young to eat healthy gourmet!)
• Remember that baby can eat what you're eating as long as the texture/thickness is developmentally appropriate. If you don't want to make/freeze food then consider purchasing a good food mill.
• Don't be afraid to add protein.  Cook and puree lean cuts of beef, chicken, beans, etc.

WARNING:

• If baby is a new eater, only introduce one food every three-four days and watch for allergic reactions.
• Make sure food is not lumpy for new eaters.  As your baby gets used to eating, you can add more lumps.
• Be aware of nitrates.  Nitrates are chemicals in water and soil that "stick" to fruits and veggies and get ickier with time.  Therefore, use frozen OR prepare your foods ASAP after purchasing.  Be advised that there are certain foods with high nitrates (carrots, spinach, etc.) so you'll need to be careful when making those foods.  And here is where I plug NOT buying baby carrots.  Get big ones for baby food.  Peel, chop, and cook.

Resources:

There are a lot of baby food making resources out there by my favorite is Once a Month Mom.  This blog offers how to's, recipes, and even menus.  Check it out!

Days of Play--Floaters and Sinkers Part II

So we accidentally came across this game last Saturday.

In the original floaters and sinkers, children guessed what items would sink in a tub of water and which would float.

This game follows the same idea but with air!

Here's what to do.

1.  Get a helium filled balloon with a long tail.
2.  Randomly grab little things that can be tied to the balloon (spoon, feather, sponge, pennies, whisk ...).
3.  Show your child how some objects cause the ballon to sink while others float with the balloon.
4.  For each item, have your child guess if it will cause the balloon to sink or float.
5.  Test your hypothesis!

To make this easier for younger kids:

Omit the guessing and just play with the balloon.

To make this harder for older kids:

Talk about mass and density.  Need a refresher?  Look here , among other places.  Talk about why the balloon floats.

No Meal Plan this Week

Matt was gone for half of last week and will be gone for half of this week.  Therefore, we'll be finishing up last week's meal plan this week.

Check back for a new meal plan!