Saturday, January 23, 2010

Jean Shopping...Ick!

I have several pairs of jeans but only one doesn't have a hole in it somewhere (and regrettably these are junior-sized, boot cut, distressed LEIs) .  My favorite jeans, the ones I bought when Matt and I were engaged but I strive to fit into post-baby, have so many holes that I'm starting to think they are more patches than jeans.

Anyhow, I have to go jean shopping which in my mind is the equivalent of running my self-confidence through a food processor and then straining the mush to pick out seeds of self-respect that are then dumped down the sink.  And this is only when I try on the first pair of jeans!

Before I go, I watched Stacy and Clinton.  I love them!  If you are in the market for a new pair of jeans, click the link and watch this video; it might help you, too.  In the mean time, wish me luck!

What I think about: Edward Who?

I’ve already made it known that I liked the Twilight series.  They are fairly well written love stories coming out of the “sex is power” wakes of Sex in the City and Friends.  As a former middle school teacher I must admit I was grateful there was finally a pro-abstinence, pro-self-control, anti-clique and mean girl option for young ladies.   However, I am not blind to the negative aspects of the book.  The story isn’t pro-abstinence on moral grounds but rather because Edward doesn’t want to kill Bella.  And one must question Bella’s motives that she’d die for her parents but won’t tell them the truth.  In the end, though, I feel like if this book series is tempered with discussion and logic, it is safe enough to read.

Where I get really nervous about the Twilight series is the female reaction to Edward and Jacob.  There has been mass hysteria surrounding the characters and I’m not talking about tweens swooning over shirtless Jacob (though that does bother me). 

What really bothers me are TwiMoms who lament that their relationships with their husbands are not equal to (depending on your team) Bella/Edward or Bella/Jacob.  The danger with love stories for women is that they have the capability to enhance our expectations in a negative way. 

Please know that we should expect great treatment from our husbands; our husbands are to love us with the same sacrificial love Christ demonstrated to the Church—no easy task!   While we must have high standards from our husbands, we should not expect them to be perfect, to be our “all in all” or equal to fictional characters. 

My assertion: If you don’t want your husband to impose stripper-pole, porn-star expectations on you, please don’t force your Edward/Jacob expectations on him.

When I finished the series, I was so grateful for my husband and our intimate relationship.  I even made him a shirt that says, “EDWARD WHO?” to remind him that he, not a fictional character, is worthy of my love and affection.  Here are some reasons my relationship with Matt is better than Bella’s relationships with Edward/Jacob.

  • ·      Matt is my best friend AND lover.  I’m not torn.  He wins.  Period.
  • ·      Unlike Edward, Matt listens to me when I backseat drive.  He wears his seatbelt and does roughly four miles over the speed limit.
  • ·      When Matt and I have differences, we talk them over.  No one leaves (like Edward) or ignores the other (like Jacob). 
  • ·      As adults we’ve discussed what would happen in the event of sickness and death. Neither of us feels like we’d commit suicide if the other died (no running to the Volturi for us!).  Though devastated, we’d rely on God to sustain us.
  • ·      I speak the truth in love and so does he.  We do not need to be professional liars (Edward) or tricksters (Jacob).  As Matt said in our wedding vows, “I will be worthy of your trust by being trustworthy.” 
  • ·      Matt encourages me to hang out with other people, to make new friends, and to have hobbies and interests outside of our marriage and family.  I never have to feel guilty for visiting with friends.  Matt is not controlling (Edward).
  • ·      As married adults we can snuggle in bed and engage in sexual activity without sneaking behind our parent’s backs (unlike Bella and Edward). 
  • ·      Because we are adults, Matt and I can enjoy thrill seeking without our parents’ permission (unlike Bella and Jacob). 
  • ·      We are first and foremost committed to our Christ.  We recognize that though we are God’s perfect provision for each other, only HE can fully satisfy. 

 So ladies, if you want a quick and easy read, I’m not opposed to recommending the Twilight Series (though I’d really recommend Redeeming Love, Pride and Prejudice or Peace Like a River more).  When you finish the series, remember that it is fiction and that your husband does not and should not live up to standards set by fictional characters.

Praise your husband for the good he brings out in you and if you want more romance in your marriage, show him how it’s done!

Friday, January 22, 2010

Days of Play--Color Scavenger Hunt

For younger children:
Go into his or her room and talk about color.  Get several items of one color and explore them.  Read a book about colors.

For toddlers:
Go into his or her room and ask him or her to bring you one red item, one blue item, and one yellow item (feel free to mix up the colors here).

For older children:
Make a list of various colors and number of items to be retrieved.  Consider a time limit.
3 pink things, 6 blue things, 1 black thing, 2 orange things, etc.  

**Enrich this game more by using 2 languages.  Find 2 yellow things.  Where is something amarillo?**

Thursday, January 21, 2010

BlogFrog Reader Community

Women, Wives, Moms--

The purpose of my blog is to share ideas, advice, humorous stories, and life experiences with other women.  To help fulfill this mission, I've added BlogFrog.  Please join me in an online fellowship of moms.  To join, find the purple link on the left side of my blog.  It takes just a minute to sign in but once you are a member, you can post questions, stories, advice, ideas, etc.

Please take the time to do this so we can make Where is the ME in Mommy? an mutually beneficial site.

Thank you for sharing life with me,

Date night In--Movie Game

If you've been to college or know someone who has been to college then I'm sure you are aware of a drinking game where you have to drink every time you use the "taboo" word.  This date night is a alcohol-free take on that game.

What you'll need:
A movie
Snacks--popcorn, something to drink
mini-note pad or strips of paper

What to do:
You and your husband will each write silly actions you can do quickly on pieces of paper (kiss my cheek, pick your nose, shake your bum, give me a high five, make a tooting noise with your mouth, tell me you love me, scratch my back, use "fo' shizzle" in a sentence, etc.).  I suggest 10-20 ideas each.

Now pick a frequently used word (but not too frequently used word--avoid "the").  Something like: love, what?, happy, etc.  You might want to think in advance about a word that might be in the movie a lot (if you want a holiday show, for example, you can expect Christmas or happy to be used often).

Turn on the movie and enjoy the show but listen for your word.  Every time you hear your buzz word both you and your date draw a paper out of the bowl and do what it says.  If you run out of papers you can pause and make more OR just finish the movie.

Days of Play--Card Sharks

You'll need:
Small snack (popcorn, peanuts, mini-Goldfish, etc.)
Deck of Cards

For young children:
Let your little ones manipulate the cards.  Try to have cards that feel like plastic so your wee one can munch on them.  It is never too soon to show colors and to count.

For toddlers:
Examine the deck of cards.  Point out the colors, the shapes, the numbers, the faces.  Show your child how you can shuffle (I haven't yet met a 3 year old who wasn't impressed by a bridge shuffle).  Count from 1-10 with the cards and point out that the Ace is 1 and the faces are 10.

To play card sharks, have your child pick a color and a suit (red hearts).  You do likewise with a contrasting color (black spades).  Put the 2 suits together and shuffle.  Take turns flipping over the cards. Every time your child's suit comes up, he or she eats that many snacks (so if the 3 of hearts shows up, your child eats three mini-gold fish).

For older children:
Teach them to shuffle.  If you know a good card trick, show them (and then teach them).  Build a house of cards with them.  Snack while you visit.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Spy School #5

In this challenge you will be encouraging your husband to show off a skill he already has.  Allow yourself to be his student and be open and willing to stretch out of your comfort zone to have him teach you something.  Is it a karate move?  The proper way to shoot a basketball?  How to fire a weapon?

E-mail or text your husband the following (you fill in the date and time--give your husband sufficient time to prepare).

The Challenge
While you are enrolled in the Spy School to learn, there are times when the student becomes the master.  What do you have mastered?  What do you do well?  Find a talent you have and practice teaching it for in one week you will teach your Bond Girl how to do it.   You will need to let your Bond Girl know where to meet you, when, and what to wear by (date, time).

Days of Play--What the animals do

Let's act like animals!

For young children:
Look at books with pictures of animals and encourage animal sounds.

For toddlers:
Have your child act like a frog, a bird, a duck, etc.  Join them in the silliness as you move and talk like the animals do.

For older children:
Have them mime an animal and guess what it is charades style.  (Anyone know how to be a duck-billed platypus?)

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Days of Play--Guess Box

You'll need:
Box that has a hand-sized hole in it
small objects
tape to securely close box

For young children:
Enlist even little ones to help find small toys to put in the box.  Let your child put toys in and take them out.  Talk about shape, color and texture as the items go in and out.

For toddlers:
Have your toddler help you find small items to go in the box.  After the box has several items, ask your toddler to reach in and pull out the ___(ball)___.

For older children:
Don't let older kids see what goes into the box. Instead, fill it and give them 3 minutes to feel around in there.  Then, hand them a note pad and give them 5 minutes to write down everything they can remember (or tell you and you can be their scribe if they don't write as fast as they think/talk).

Monday, January 18, 2010

Days of Play--Texture Art

Today you'll need white paper, dark colored crayons, and a hard surface to color on.

For Toddlers

Encourage your child to find flat items in the house or outside (leaves, fabric, coins, keys, etc.).

Put the item under the white paper and rub over it with the crayon until a picture appears.

For Younger children:
You can do the activity but they might be more interested in manipulating the crayon, eating the paper, or exploring the object.


For Older Children:
Try rubbings using more abstract items--walls, shower curtain, drains, cold air return grates, etc.