Where is the ME in Mommy?: Search results for casino royal

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

What I Think About--Dating Your Husband

This was one of my first posts and I feel like I owe it to myself, my marriage, and to you and your marriage to re-post it (since I now have more than 6 readers!).

Matt and I have been married for nearly seven and a half years but together for just under eleven. It was just the two of us (well, and two slightly dysfunctional dogs we played "house" with) for six years. In that time we were given to weekend trips to New York, moving to Vegas for the summer, and recklessly wasting time and resources dining out, going to the movies, and sleeping in until ten (*sigh*).

My how things have changed since we had children! Most of the changes have been good but a few times I've looked at my husband and tried to remember the husband he was before he became a father.

Let me say that no man has been or will be as great of a father as Matt is (I expect you to disagree so we'll just agree to disagree). He plays with our children, changes diapers, makes toys, plays dress-up, cooks, carries, cleans vomit ... He is not of of those men who comes home from a long day at work and is "done" for the day. He finishes his day when I finish mine, and sometimes later.

Though I love and admire the father in him, I also yearn for the Matt who wasn't a dad--fearless, reckless, spontaneous, dangerous, carefree. Deep down he still is all those things but the daily routine grinds him down. What I realized this December is that he felt the same way about me. And what we learned was that the key to igniting the pre-parent passions we had for each other was within our grasp.

What follows is an excerpt from an e-mail Matt sent to me on December 1, 2009 in preparation for our anniversary.

I tell you all the time that you are beautiful, and I tell you often that you are a wonderful mother. What I don’t tell you all the time is that you are so mysterious…and I love that about you. Though you tell yourself and others that you like to plan, play things safe and keep control at all times, one of the mysteries of you is that those things are not entirely true. Even though you would never admit to it, I have come to realize your secret affinity for adventure and more importantly… spontaneity.
One of the things I committed to you nearly seven years ago was that I would make you happy. And while I know that you are happy in a general sense, it bothers me that we so easily get bogged down in the routineness of being married, of being parents and of life tasks. Every time I have asked you in the past three months about your happiness and what about life is causing you stress, it is the daily reality that is grindingly numbing. You are so tough. You raise our children with excellence, you care for your family and you are a wonderful friend. But deep down, I know that a little adventure….a little romance…..a little passion and a little spontaneity just might create an opportunity for us.
Every day from now until our anniversary, I am going to present you with at least one opportunity to do something completely spontaneous. There is no pressure on your part to accept each opportunity. Some will be more adventurous than others. Some may even stretch your comfort level. But deep down I know there is an inner Bond girl dying to escape…

Thus was born the Legacy Parkway Spy School. For the next twenty days Matt sent me on wild goose chases taking secret photos of him, creating movies, practicing "Unagi" (we love Friends), and learning how to box. These games, these spontaneous "challenges" were nothing more than little thoughts meant to brighten my day by reminding me that before I was a mom, I was a sexy, confident woman . . . and still could be.

When I share this story with friends I always get comments like "I wish my husband would do stuff like that." All I can say is this, DO IT FIRST. Be the change you want to see in your marriage.

Date your husband.
Wow him.
Remind him that he is a sexy and confident man.
Remind him that before he was your children's father, he was your lover.

I've re-created some of my spy school challenges (and created new ones).

If you want to spice up your married date life, check out these links. Do them. Have fun with them.

If you blog, blog about the benefits of sending your man to "Spy School" (and send me the link so I can read about it). If you don't blog, e-mail me messages and photos to post!

Bond Spy School for Hot Dads

Letter of Introduction

Challenge #1--Covert Operations

Challenge #2--The Art of Observation

Challenge #3--Shaken, Not Stirred

Challenge #4--The One with Unagi

Challenge #5--Man of Many Talents

Challenge #6--Man of Distinguished Taste

Challenge #7--Cookin' Up Something Hot

Challenge #8--Casino Royal

If you want to bring back pre-baby passion to your marriage, I think it is partially your responsibility to inspire it. Date your husband!

Just a little photo (one of the few we could post) from our Body Paint date night in!

Friday, May 14, 2010

Spy School #8--Casino Royal (great date night in)

Challenge your husband to an evening of cards and intrigue.

A week prior to his challenge, slip your husband the challenge with a new deck of cards.

The Challenge:
Gambling, Tuxedos and Bond--James Bond. If you accept this challenge your card skills will be put to the test and mankind's most precious commodity will be wagered. If you are prepared to take this challenge, meet me _____date and time______. Dress Vegas style.

Before the Date:
Learn how to play Texas Hold 'Em. Google the rules, watch the video, etc. You might want to have your hot date do the same.

On Spy School Date Night:

Set the scene--Put up a card table in your room or somewhere private in the house. Use your imagination to make the space as "gambling" themed as possible. Consider black and white linens, dim lighting, candles, jazz.
Prepare some tapas and drinks (iced tea, wine).
Have a deck of 52 cards.
Have something to use for gambling chips/tokens (you can get chips or use pennies, sea shells, etc.).
Get dressed to kill (even if you are staying in, consider a dress or low cut shirt.)

Forget money, play with tokens/chips that represent a minute of your time (each start with 60 tokens representing one hour of your time). At the end of the evening, each person adds up the number of chips they have and they can use those minutes of your time for whatever they want. So, if you have 15 of your husband's chips, you get fifteen minutes of his time to use for a foot rub, dishes, laundry, etc.

Need some Texas Hold 'Em tips? Check out this video!

You and your hubby take turns dealing and placing blind bets.

If you need more information or rules on how to play Texas Hold 'Em, click here.

Here are some card hands:

Straight flush (the best straight flush hand: A-K-Q-J-T, all of the same suit)
Four-of-a-kind (the best four-of-a-kind hand: A-A-A-A-K)
Full house (the best full house hand: A-A-A-K-K)
Flush (all cards of the same suit, the best flush hand: any Ace-high flush)
Straight (the best straight hand: A-K-Q-J-T)
Three-of-a-kind (the best three-of-a-kind hand: A-A-A-K-Q)
Two-pair (the best two-pair hand: A-A-K-K-Q)
One-pair (the best one-pair hand: A-A-K-Q-J)
No-pair (the best high hand: A-K-Q-J-9)

If you've never played poker, take your time and just try it out. Have fun.

If you want to make your evening **really** spicy, bet clothing instead of minutes.

For our Casino Royal night, we had virgin margartinits (margarita mix with ginger ale in martini glasses) and tapas. Our tapas menu included: