For my family spiritual growth has been long and slow in coming. It isn't that there hasn't been belief but that belief can sometimes decrease in hard times (Remember Jesus basically telling John the Baptist that He wasn't going to save him and then saying "blessed is he who does not fall away on account of me"?). Sometimes it is hard to NOT fall away when things aren't going well--my family is living proof.For whatever reason, in my family, God has made me a bit more firm in faith and to be honest, sometimes I've pretty much wanted to pull my hair out by the roots in frustration of my family's walking and waning.
When my mom was diagnosed with CADASIL in March of 2008, I sort of had a crisis of faith but it didn't have to do with my faith but rather my family's faith. Is this making sense? I guess what I am trying to say is that I feared that this disease would pull my family away from God rather than pushing them to Him. What really stunk was knowing my only option was to "be the Bible" for my family and pray for them (though if you could make someone strengthen their faith by hog-tying and torturing them I might have tried it).
Mayo doctors gave my mom less than a year to live and here it is, two years later. God is good. It is heart-breaking to watch my mom's mental capacities decrease and to see my dad and mom watch their dreams fade before their eyes. But God is good. My folks are struggling financially. But God is good. My mom won't live as long as we hoped she would. But she's lived this far. She has seen and knows and loves her grandchildren. And either way, God is Good. Here's the praise: This weekend, along with my sister and her husband, my mom was baptized.
So her illness sucks and I won't sugar coat that. But CADASIL has re-ignited a passionate faith in Jesus in my family. And if disease it what it takes--then so be it. Right now I'm so faithfully inspired that the line from The Count of Monte Cristo keeps running through my head, "Gentlemen (satan), do your worst!"
Congratulations Randean, Jeff, and Mom!
Reagan that is so awesome! I am so sorry about your mom. It is amazing to me how God can create good out of something sucky! I am so glad that they are closer to God because of all of this.
ReplyDeleteWow, I am really sad to hear that about your mom, but thank God that it has brought your family closer to Jesus. It is a hard thing to keep your faith when bad things are happening. It's beyond our understanding, but God always has a plan!
ReplyDeleteSarah and Amy--thank you for sharing in my joy and your condolences. Thru all of this I can attest that God has a plan and even I don't understand it, it is the right plan, for the right time. Oh how He loves us!
ReplyDeleteI also know someone who has been recently diagnosed with Cadasil and you are an icon in how you are learning to live with your Mum's condition. And you are right because Jesus will help you through whatever life brings along. Well done to you and to your family!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous--Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for your kind comment and encouragement. My best to the person/family you know dealing with CADASIL.
ReplyDeleteReagan, I got behind on my blog reading & just read this. Wow. What an exciting day for your family.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry that your family is dealing with this illness. Its beautiful to see Jesus using it for his Glory! I'm sure it sucks, I really can't imagine...but I pray that God continues to give you the strength & peace to follow the path He has given your family and to bless His name always!
You are a beautiful lady!
Not sure the reasoning for the title of the post...but its funny! :)
ReplyDelete@Shelly--Thanks. Oh, and I called my sister Randeaner Beaner Wiener as a kid to get under her skin!
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