Days of Play: GAK!

If you want some adventurous, tactile fun, whip up a bowl of GAK! and have a gooey good time!

Source: Our Best Bites

Our Best Bites (<----Click that link) has the fun GAK recipe!

Want to play but don't have borax, click here to get my ooblich recipe (cornstarch + water = fun).

Date Night {OUT}--Around Town

Last weekend my daughter was at her grandparent's house.  Being down one kid, we decided to do a date night out.

Since it was a last minute date, we resorted to the movie idea.  But then we decided there was really nothing we wanted to see.  So Matt whipped up this fun date idea!

He wrote down six different silly challenges and put them in a hat.  We then took off driving and listening to fun music.  As he drove, I pulled out a challenge.  When we finished each activity, we pulled out another.  The challenges took us to six different locales, got us laughing, got us out of the house, and was relatively inexpensive.

So if you want a night out on the town, consider modifying these challenges (or making up your own).

Challenge #1--Go to Matt's office and play three rounds of pictionary.  Winner gets five minutes of back tickles.

Challenge #2--Go to a bookstore.  Take 10 minutes to find the following: a book your spouse would hate, a book your spouse would love BUT would never admit to loving, and the sexiest book you can find (that isn't from the "self-help" sex area).  After 10 minutes, sit down and share why you chose what you chose and why.

Challenge #3--Go to a place you've never been before and order a drink (this can be a restaurant, bar, coffee shop ... just go somewhere new)!

Challenge #4--Go to Target, Wal-Mart, etc.  Take 10 minutes to find something that your spouse would be SUPER embarrassed to buy (giant underwear, anyone?).  Don't buy it but have a good laugh!

Challenge #5--Drive to the park.  Find a song on the radio and turn it way up.  Open the car doors and share a dance together!

Challenge #6--Take $1.50 each and go into a convenience store.  Buy your spouse something for dessert.  Drive to a remote location, hold hands, and eat dessert in the car. Talking with your mouth full encourage.

Things I Love: Ballet Flats

Not so long ago I did a bit of a diatribe on why I can't stand it when people wear tennis shoes all day, with every outfit.  If you want to read my thoughts, click here.

Anyhow, one of the fastest and easiest ways to pull an outfit together is with your shoes (and accessories, but I digress).  

Ballet flats are my favorite type of shoes (and this makes my boots sad).  They are comfortable, versatile and fun!  And the best part, you can find them really cheap!  (Don't misconstrue what I'm saying, you can totally find ballet flats for $500 but why would you want to?!?!?).

If you want to a quick wardrobe fix, pick up a pair (or five) of ballet flats!

FYI--All of these flats are from Target and ALL of them are under $20!  Snap!

Flats by Mossimo

Yes, those are my black, bow Target ballet flats.  I love them.

Things I love--BALLET FLATS!

How about you?

What I Think About--Birthdays (Please join me for a pity party)

While I was doing my LOVE IS challenge a monumental event came and went with little attention.

No, I'm not talking about Puxatony Phil (although the days are the same); I'm talking about my birthday.

Source

When I was growing up my parents made our birthdays special.  Of course I mean "special" in the 1980s fashion (read: you pick dinner, open a present, and eat cake with family and 1-2 friends) and not the millennium fashion (read: $300 parties with 50 guests and a gazillion presents you don't have to write thank-yous for).  I always felt special and loved on my birthdays, no matter how "minimalist" they were.

When I became an adult everyone told me that birthdays were somehow less important--less hullabaloo, less cake, less attention.  I guess with all the distractions of work and kids and bills there just isn't time for grown-ups to feel special, even for just one day.

I understand busy.  I even understand aging not being a big deal (although the more I celebrate my 30th birthday the more I love it!).

But this year, my birthday went by without much attention at all.

I had to commute and work and go to school until 7; Matt had business obligations until 10:30. 

Before I left for my commute, there were no "birthday breakfasts" or silly "happy birthday" songs. 

Aside from Facebook well wishes and a text or two, there were no birthday cards (unless you count the one from an insurance agency that I don't use) and no birthday phone calls--not even from my family.  

Around 5:30 pm I briefly toyed with the idea that a surprise party was in the making. When I came home at 7:00 to a dirty house, I realized that there was no surprise party.

I had a Samantha Baker moment from Sixteen Candles.  No, my birthday wasn't forgotten; it was just unacknolwedged.  And somehow, that felt worse.

Source

To be fair, when I got home (after I cleaned up the house and did the dishes) I found a Glee DVD set and my friend Sarah (who I did go to lunch with that day) brought me cheesecake so I at least got to spend the evening with Mr. Shue and 4 homemade, different versions of cheesecake.

When Matt came home I could tell he was dripping with guilt.  He tried to "make up" for it with gifts but I'm not a gift person and I balked at feeling "bought off."  I understand he had to work; I understand people are busy; I don't understand not taking a bit of planning to make even 10 minutes of someone's birthday special.

And I really felt this "birthdays aren't a big deal when you're an adult" mentality is just an excuse to not have to exert time and attention anywhere besides work/finances/hobbies.  When really, shouldn't we go the extra mile for those people ... not matter how old they are?

I'm generally quick to get angry but this time, I just cried--because it felt bad to not to celebrated.

Out of that pity party came a super-strong resolution: birthdays do matter and the people we love are worth celebrating (at least once a year).  So no matter how busy we get or how far he travels or how early the day starts or how sick the kids get or how tight money is, I will always acknowledge and celebrate the people I love.

What I think about birthdays is that they matter.

No one should be Samatha Bakered (or worse).

Even if you've had seventy-five birthdays, they still matter.
Even if you stopped counting how old you are at 27, they still matter.
Even if you hate being celebrated, they still matter (we'll send you a card).

As long as people matter, their birthdays matter.

Source

*DISCLAIMER* On Feb. 10th I saw that is was a friend's birthday on Facebook.  I decided to tell her happy birthday in person ... and then I forgot.  Dear friend, I apologize :)*

DISCLAIMER #2--My husband is amazing.  He loves and cherishes me.  This is just one of those "oh crap" moments in his life that I'll let him forget in 30 years (see, if he did stuff like this more often it'd roll off my back). ILY, Matt!


Thanks to SHELL at THINGS I CAN'T SAY for always hosting my random Wednesday thoughts!

When the Valentine's Day hoopla is done ...

I still love my husband.

Not for what he did or didn't give me (and we focus on the didn't gives at our house); not for dates we've gone on (or may go on soon).

I still love my husband for who he is--my perfect provision.

This journey of learning what Love is and how I can better give and receive love has been exhausting.

Don't get me wrong, it's been totally beneficial.  Reflecting, journaling, reading The Word, and praying have done wonders for me. 

But it's come at a cost--namely that I realized how far I have to go. 

When it comes to love, I'm not good at giving it unconditionally.  I'm quick to hold grudges, slow to forgive, and quick to distrust.

I'm not good at receiving love without cynicism. I distrust the motives of people; I'm waiting to be let down.

Examining my heart and letting it affect my actions for 15 days has altered the way I look at myself and my family. 

Most importantly, it's altered--possibly forever--what Love is.

Love Never--Day 15 {Valentine's Day Finale!}

Love never fails.

FOR YOU
Get out your journal.  Now watch this video and reflect on it.

Do you believe what it says?  Do you believe that love never fails?  Do you feel like love has failed you before?  If so, reflect on that--was it love?

Ask God to heal your heart and to show you that love, His love, never fails.

FOR YOUR SPOUSE
Plan a special evening for your spouse.

Invite him to spend the evening with you by using a Candy-Gram. 
Spend some time with a quiet, date night in.  If you want a date all planned out for you, may I suggest:

• A Couple's Massage theme
• A Twilight themed date (you know, if you married to someone who likes Twilight)
• A Kiss themed date
• A Rated R date

(Yes, you can click those links for some ready-for-your touch date ideas!)

FOR YOUR KIDS
Make your kids a Candy-Gram so they know how much you love them!

Love Always--Day 14

Love always perseveres.

FOR YOU:

In your journal, define what "perseveres" means to you.  Are you good a persevering?  Do you have a hard time finishing what you start?  Why?

Of all of the Biblical "love" qualities, persevering is perhaps the hardest.  I mean, it's just so easy to give up, throw in the towel and walk away.  It takes considerable more strength, discipline, and patience to fight the good fight, walk uphill, and endure.  

Pray that God would give you a spirit that is willing to love continuously--to love when it's good and to love when it's bad, to love when it is deserved and to love when it is undeserved. Pray that God gives you the heart to persevere in your love.

FOR YOUR SPOUSE

Have you ever felt like giving up on your spouse? Your marriage? Your sex life? Your "dating" life?  With your spouse, write "married" vows.  In these vows, promise to persevere in your marriage.  Share your vows.

If you want to really "walk the walk" make a date book and promise that you will, at least 10 times this year, pursue, woo, and date your spouse.

FOR YOUR KIDS

Let's be honest, sometimes I'd rather be deep-fried than play another game of tag or Candy Land.  But today, I'm going to persevere in playing with my children.  I'm going to show them I'm steadfastly interested in spending time with them.   

 

Love Always--Day 13

Love always hopes.

FOR YOU:

Make a brain web today of the things you hope for.  What are your heart's desires?  What do you hope will happen?

Think of a time when you felt hopeless.  What did "hopelessness" feel like?  How did it turn out?

"Hope looks beyond a cure for disease, a solution for a problem, an escape from pain, to an assurance from God that life has point and meaning in spite of disease, problems, and pain. Hope looks to the promise of the final victory of Jesus Christ over all that hurts and kills. This is the hope that gives us courage to praise today and face tomorrow with expectancy even when we do not expect the problem to be solved." (Lewis Smedes, Love Within Limits, p. 103)

How do we draw on that kind of hope? It comes from being filled with the Spirit. We ask for the gift of the Spirit which Jesus came to give us. We open our hearts and minds to receive that which we need, when all things seem to be hopeless and we are tempted to despair. We believe that God who loves us, will give us the hope we need, to sustain us.

Pray for God to give you a spirit of hope.

FOR YOUR SPOUSE:

Today, write a hope list.  Each of you should have an individual piece of paper.  On that paper, write down 3-5 areas where you have given up hope in your marriage.  Write 3-5 areas that you still have hope in.

Pray together for God to deepen your level of hope and encouragement in your marriage.  

#1 Wait	Don’t talk right away about your list of how your marriage could be better. It is not meant to be a list on how bad your spouse has been! To be honest, some of you might never have an opportunity to share this list with your spouse.
#2 Confess	When you have fallen into temptation to giving up, you need to confess your sin to God. It was not God who wanted you to doubt His plan.
#3 Ask	Ask the Lord to restore hope to the very areas that you have given up hope. It might be something so simple as your husband expressing his gratefulness for your hard work. Or it could be the ability to live with your selfish spouse in love and kindness.
#4 Anticipate	Give God the opportunity to answer your prayer in His time and way. We do this by telling Him and yourselves what you want, why you think your marriage should have those things, and a willingness to do what is needed for it to be done including waiting a long time. Wives must not nag, hint or manipulate to get what they wish. Husbands must refuse to commandeer their wives into what they want.
#5 Share	It is natural to want to share your list with your spouse. If your spouse asks to hear your list, then you are free to share it with him or her. If he or she does not ask, then just keep it between you and God. Remember you ‘two,’ God and you are a team working together in hope. Each day you will seek Him for these things and watch for how He begins to accomplish this work.

 (Table Source)

FOR YOUR KIDS

Spend some time examining your children.  How naturally does hope come to them?  Where does their hope come from? Pray with your children.  Praise God for their childlike faith and ask that He fill you with hope as pure as theirs.

Love Always--Day 12

Love always trusts.

The more I look at the scriptural aspects of love, the more I realize how bad I am at love.  Reagan does not always trust.  In fact, Reagan almost never trusts.  ANYONE. 

FOR YOU:

In your journal, make a list of who you really trust.  Once you have your list, pick one person and make a list of qualities that makes you trust that person.  What are the qualities you trust in people?
 

Now think about a time when you trust was broken.  What happened?  What was your response?  Were you ever able to re-gain trust in that person? How?

FOR YOUR HUSBAND:

Take your husband for a trust walk.  Blindfold your husband and walk him around the house.  Make sure you keep him close and safe.  Now, reverse roles.

Discuss trust. Was it easy to physically trust your spouse?  Is it easier to trust someone with your physical being or your emotions?  In what ways do you need to start trusting one another more? 

FOR YOUR KIDS:

As a family, do a trust fall.  Have kids stand on a chair and fall backwards into your arms.  Let your kids know they can trust you! 

Love Always--Day 11

Love always protects.

FOR YOU:

What comes to mind when you hear "protects"?  What does protect mean?  What does it look like?  Do you feel protected? 

 

Infidelity is a huge marriage killer.  What makes people unfaithful either physically or emotionally? How do you protect your marriage?  Your family?

FOR YOUR SPOUSE:

Talk with your spouse about times you've been uncomfortable or misunderstood a relationship.  What made you uncomfortable about the situation?  What made you feel insecure?  

Discuss as a couple what you will do to ensure neither of you falls into emotional or physical infidelity. 

FOR YOUR KIDS:

Have a series talk with your kids today.  Explain stranger danger or the "no touching where your swimsuit is" rule.  Perhaps come up with a "code word" and tell your kids that they never let anyone into the house or get into a car with anyone who doesn't know the code word.  P.S.  When I was a kid, our code word was "Uncle Tom." 

 

Love Is {NOT} ... Day 10

Today I'm sharing my "Love Is" challenge with Shell at Things I Can't Say. I really just feel like pouring my heart out about the lies I believe!

Click here to learn more about the LOVE IS Challenge

Love does not ... delight in evil but rejoices in truth.

FOR YOU:

Take a moment to get real with yourself.  In your journal, make a list of "things" you believe about yourself--good and bad.  For example, I'm a hard worker or I'm fat. 

Look through your list.  Circle all the items that are true.  What's left?  Look at the lies.  Why are they lies?  What affect do the lies hold on you?  How do the lies of this world hold you back and defeat you?

Pray for God to show you how you look to HIM so you will know the truth and be free to walk and enjoy in who you are in Christ.

FOR YOUR SPOUSE:

Play a game of True or False with you husband.

For each of these statements write True or False.  If the answer is true, give examples to prove it!

1. I can name three of my spouse's closest friends.

2. I know my spouse's favorite TV show or movie.

3. I know what turns my spouse on sexually.

4. I know what has been stressing my spouse out lately.

5. I know a special time in my spouse's life.

6. I know my spouse's "love language"

7. I know how my spouse likes to spend his/her free time.

8. I know where my spouse would like to travel to.

9. I know my spouse's favorite meal.

10.  I know three of my spouse's hopes, dreams, or goals. 

Spend time chatting and learning about one another.  It's a win-win game (but if you are the competitive type you can always wager foot rubs).

FOR YOUR KIDS:

Help your children know the truth--that God loves them for who they are! Affirm your children at least once today.  Affirm a character quality (not external quality like "pretty" or "handsome").

Love Is {NOT} ... Day 9

Click here to learn more about the LOVE IS Challenge

Love is not ... a record keeper of wrongs.

I'd be lying if I didn't say I totally struggled with unforgiveness.  It feels so powerful to be in the position to forgive someone--or not.  But unforgiveness is not healthy for us!

FOR YOU:

Examine your heart.  What people/instances cause you bitterness or pain?  Reflect on a particularly painful memory and ask yourself, "have I forgiven them?"

If you harbor resentment and an unwillingness to unforgive, consider what it is costing you.  Does it make you bitter?  Do you think about the person/situation over and over?  Does it cause you to be angry? Do you feel burdened? Hurt? Betrayed?

These feelings are the bad fruit of the sick weed of unforgiveness. 

It is hard to forgive.  Sometimes it feels impossible.  If you are in a position where you feel you simply can't forgive, then say a little prayer "God, help me to forgive."  He can and he will, if you are willing to be open.

FOR YOUR SPOUSE:

Ask your spouse to share with you a hurt you have caused him.  Don't defend your actions; don't justify bad behavior; don't belittle his feelings.  Ask to be forgiven.

FOR YOUR CHILDREN:

Today model forgiveness for your children.  If they are disobedient and require correction, discipline them but be quick to offer forgiveness.  If you do something wrong, seek out your children.  Apologize and seek their forgiveness. 

Love Is {NOT} ... Day 8

Click here to learn more about the LOVE IS Challenge

Love is not ... easily angered.

Honestly, anger is my emotional drug of choice.  It feels good to be angry, doesn't it?!? That "ha, I got you!" feeling isn't healthy, though!

FOR YOU:

Set a time for three minutes.  Get your journal and something to write with.  For the next three minutes,  write down things/people/situations/events that make you angry.  Don't think--write.  Fast.  Let it out.

Now pray through the list.  Pray that you would not be easily angered.  Forgive the people who make you angry.  Forgive yourself.

If anger is your drug of choice, consider spending some time examining "roots" of your anger.  Are you really using anger to cover up another emotion (like I do)?  Is something deeper, like unforgiveness, going on?

Pray.

FOR YOUR SPOUSE:

Ask your spouse how he knows you are angry.  What is the "fruit" of your anger?  Are you quiet?  Do you sulk?  Are you demeaning? Do you stomp about?  Get to know what anger looks like from your spouse's perspective.

Seek his wisdom on how you can more appropriately handle your anger as it concerns him.

And don't get angry when he tells you this :)

FOR YOUR KIDS:

Commit for one day to NOT get angry with your children.  Be calm and mild-mannered toward them. 

Love Is {NOT} ... Day 7

Click here to learn more about the LOVE IS Challenge

Love is not ... selfish.

FOR YOU:

Think back to the last time you were called (or felt) selfish or self-centered. What were the circumstances?  Were you actually being selfish and self-centered?

In your journal, comment about what selfish looks like to you.  How does selfish act?  How does selfish sound?  What are "things" selfish does?  Does selfish worry?  Insist on being right?  

Is there a common thread that causes you to be selfish?  If so, pray today for God to reveal it to you and to help you overcome it!

FOR YOUR SPOUSE:

Today, commit to being generous toward your spouse.  Think of him before yourself.  Do something special for your spouse.  This could mean getting him a small gift, making his favorite cookies, or letting him sleep in.  Whatever you do, do it with a generous and self-less spirit.

FOR YOUR CHILDREN:

Do the same activity for your children.  Is there something they love to do that you hate to do (like play with playdough or go to McDonalds)? Today, be generous to you children. Don't be selfish with you time.  Do something THEY want to do for as long as THEY want to do it. 

Love Is {NOT} ... Day 6

Click here to learn more about the LOVE IS Challenge

Love is not ... rude.

Love is not irritable or rude.  

FOR YOU:
Get your journal and start to list as many times as you can think of that you've been rude or irritable--either to your spouse, your children, or complete strangers.  Set a time and just list 'em for a minute or two.

Now, examine your list for common themes.  When are you the rudest or most irritable? Is it when you are stressed?  When you have your period?   When you are angry?  When you feel disconnected to your spouse or even yourself?

Really look at your common themes.  Are any of these "reasons" really a good reason to be rude or irritable?  Can you change the circumstances so you won't be so rude and irritable?

Consider these biblical reminders:

It is better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a irritable wife~ Proverbs 21:9
Fool shows their annoyance at once, but the wise overlook insults~Proverbs 12:16
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger~Proverbs 15:1 

FOR YOUR SPOUSE:
This challenge can be uncomfortable for both spouse; however, honest dialogue is a key to communication and intimacy.

Today, ask your spouse to tell you 5 "things" that make him uncomfortable when he is around you.  

Listen to him without being judgemental, angry, rude, defensive, or irritable.

Commit to work on your weaknesses. 

DO NOT force your husband to listen to "5 things I don't like about you" unless he invites the feedback. And then, only tell him in a spirit of love, not anger.

FOR YOUR KIDS
Do the same activity.  Ask your children to tell you what mommy does really well.  Then have them tell you what they wish mommy did better. 

Love Is {NOT} ... Day 5

What to know what the LOVE IS challenge is all about?  Click here!

Love Is Not ... Proud

You've heard it before--pride before a fall.  But what is pride?  Pride can be the satisfaction in a job well done.  Is that a bad thing?  I think not.  What about this definition of pride: a high opinion of yourself or your own dignity, importance, or merit; a lofty assumption of superiority.  Is that the kind of "proud" that is frowned upon?  I think so.

In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis stated, "Pride leads to every other vice.... Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. We say that people are proud of being rich, or clever, or good-looking, but they are not. They are proud of being richer, cleverer, or better-looking than others. If every one else became equally rich, or clever, or good-looking there would be nothing to be proud about. It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone."

FOR YOU:

According to Beth Moore, "Often our society reviles Biblical humility as a sign of sickening weakness.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Being filled with pride is easy.  It comes naturally.  Humility takes a supply of supernatural strength that comes only to those who are strong enough to admit weakness.

Journal today on pride.  Is it easy for you to be prideful?  Why is that?  What are you proud about?

Is it difficult for you to be humble?  Why?  What sort of words come to your mind when you hear the word "humble"?  Why is humility hard? Do you struggle with comparing yourself to others?  Why?

Make a list of specific steps you can take to have a heart of humility.

FOR YOUR SPOUSE:

During "love is kind" you did an act of kindness for your spouse.  Today, do an act of service that requires humility.  What can you do to show your spouse you esteem him?  A dear friend and her husband wash one another's feet.  How about that?  Could you wash your spouse's feet?  

FOR YOUR CHILDREN:

Many people will balk at the idea of being humble before our children because it might show the parent as "weak."  I disagree.  If you would like to teach your children to be humble, I think we have to be humble.  Today, let your children see you being self-less and humble to others.  Be mild mannered and kinder than necessary.  Don't insist on your own way but give deference to others.

 

Love Is {NOT} ... Day 4

What to know what the LOVE IS challenge is all about?  Click here!

Love Is Not ... Boastful.

FOR YOU:
In your journal, define what boastful means to you.  Now, think of a time or two you've been boastful. What did you boast about?  Who did you boast to?

Now take out your bible and examine the following scriptures:
Jeremiah 9:23-24
Ephesians 2:8-9
Proverbs 27:1
1 Corinthians 1:31

Who can boast and what?
What does it mean to boast in the Lord?

FOR YOUR HUSBAND
Make a list of all of the things you boast about in the Lord as they pertain to your husband.  Think of all the ways he is your perfect provision from God.  Why are you grateful for your husband and to God for providing your husband?

Turn your list into a sweet note and hide it somewhere your husband will find it.

FOR YOUR KIDS
Do the same activity above except examine why you are grateful to God for your children.  What joys do they bring? What lessons do they teach.  Read your list aloud to children who cannot read.

Love Is {NOT} ... Day 3

Love is ... Not Jealous

FOR YOU

Take out your journal and write down some times you've been jealous of your husband.   To get you thinking, have you been jealous that he gets to work outside of the home and meet new people?  Are you jealous of his time away from children?

Look at the areas where you've been jealous and make a list of ways you benefit from what you are jealous of.  For example, if you are jealous that your husband works outside the home, note how you benefit from his income or how you benefit by all the memories you make with your children, etc.
Pray that God would give you Godly perspective.

FOR YOUR HUSBAND
If you are a SAHM and feel overwhelmed by the amount of time you spend with your kids, please recognize that your husband may feel overwhelmed by the amount of work he has.  Today, plan some time from your husband to be alone.  Give him twenty minutes to watch a show or arrange for a friend to take him to play pool.  If he normally bathes the kids, you do it instead and give him some time to relax.

FOR YOUR CHILDREN
Most likely your children are jealous for your time and attention. Today, read them a story or play a board game. 

Love Is ... Day 2

Love Is ... Kind

FOR YOU

Take a moment and think of the last time someone was kind to you.

Now journal.  What is kindness?  Make a list of what kind looks like?  How do you feel when someone is kind to you?  How do you feel when you are kind to someone else?

Today, commit to being kind to all people you encounter.  This means upholding all those things on your "what kind looks like" list.

Pray that God would give you a spirit of kindness towards others.

FOR YOUR SPOUSE

Today do a random act of kindness for your spouse.  Try to do something for him that he dislikes doing or that he hasn't had time to do.  For example drop off his dry cleaning, iron his shirt, clean his sink, put the kids to bed so he can have some down time, etc.

FOR YOUR KIDS

Be the model of kindness for your kids today.  As a group, go out into your community and do a random act of kindness.  Go to McDonalds and buy the person behind you lunch.  Take flowers to a nursing home.  Take cookies to a neighbor.

Valentines Day--Ewww!

A week{ish} ago I posted a little DIY tutorial on making a "Dayt book" for your spouse.  Inside are 12 pre-planned dates.  The purpose: to get you to spend adult only, fun and romantic time with your partner.

I hope that from such posts you know how much I value romance and dating my husband.

Why then, would I say "Ewwwwwwww!" when it comes to Valentine's Day?

Well if you want me to be honest, I think it is a commercialized holiday.  Who was St. Valentine?  Beats me so why would I celebrate it?

I think Valentine's Day is nothing more than a way from companies to sell over-priced cards filled with sentiments we didn't write, candy companies to pawn off red, heart shaped boxes of chocolates to guilty husbands buying last minute because they forgot the holiday anyway, and restaurants to be filled with couples forcing the intimacy issue because today is, after all, Valentine's Day.

Some will say that it's just a day to celebrate love and if that's what it is to you, more power to you.  But I'd rather have the romance and intimacy mindset year round rather than wait for a "holiday" to tell me what to buy and what to wear, and where to go to be "romantic."

Though I generally protest Valentine's Day as a matter of principle, this year I've decided to take a different approach.  If I want my love life to be a mindset, why not practice what I preach?

I'm sure many of you have heard of or done the Love Dare.  The Love Dare is a forty-day intimacy increasing idea from a low-budget movie called "Fireproof." I'm NOT doing the love dare.  I know a lot of blogs are posting elements of the Love Dare for free and I disapprove of that; it robs the authors' of the rights.  So, if you are looking for a way to do The Love Dare for free, you'll need to find another blog.

I am, however, taking a basic idea--looking at scripture--and creating dates, acts of service, gifts, and personal challenges from what I read.

Everyday from now until Valentine's Day I'll be posting a "challenge."  On Valentine's Day I'll plan a special time of love and intimacy to celebrate meeting my challenges.

Hopefully this activity will make me cultivate the skill of intentionally seeking out my spouse,  build my character, and improve our marital intimacy--one day at a time.

Join me, if you dare!  If you do, please put the LOVE IS button on your blog so we can connect!

(P.S.  I will have a "caveat" on each challenge if you would like to do the challenge to make you a better parent!).

LOVE IS... Challenge #1

The first challenge address this issue: LOVE IS PATIENT.

FOR YOU

Take a moment and journal what you think patient is.  What does patient look like?  

Think of a time you have been patient.  How would that situation have been different if you were impatient? 

Think about a time you were impatient.  How did it turn out? What would have been different if you were patient, instead.

Are there certain things, as related to your spouse or kids, that make you impatient?  Make a list.  

Pray over the list.  Pray that today you would not be impatient with your husband or kiddos.

FOR YOUR SPOUSE

Think of a game or activity that takes quite a bit of time.  Tonight, block off a certain amount of time and spend it engaging in an activity TOGETHER than requires communication, time, and patience.

We'll be playing chess!

FOR YOUR KIDS

If you are like me baking/cooking with your children can be stressful.  Today make something in the kitchen with your kiddos.  Remind yourself to be patient and have fun! 

If cooking with kids doesn't ruffle your feathers, consider giving your kids a SUPER LONG, BUBBLY bath or playing with Play-dough--surely I'm not the only one who gets in a tizzy over those activities!

Participating on your blog?  Grab a button!

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Days of Play--PJ Day

Ever have a weekend where you don't have to do anything?

No sports, no guests, no errands, no "to do lists"?  I love those weekends!

If you are in desperate need of a do-nothing day, might I suggest a family PJ day?

Here's what to do:

• brush your teeth and comb your hair but STAY in your jammies (or put on clean ones, if you must).
• Eat a fabulously sweet breakfast--pancakes, syrup, whipped cream, sprinkles ... the works!
• Play a game.
• Color.
• Pop popcorn and watch a mid-morning movie.
• Eat lunch.
• Take a family nap.
• Play hide-n-seek.
• Play playdough. 
• Make a fort.
• Make dinner and eat it in the fort.
• Eat rubbish for dessert.
• Tell and read stories.
• Brush teeth and put kids to bed (they're already in their jammies!)
• Watch a movie with your hubby.
• Go to bed (jammies optional).

3 Way

From the process of "shopping" in my closet for the 30/30 challenge I learned to creatively mix clothing pieces.

Because of this challenge I am creating a new monthly feature called the 3 Way.

3 Way
Every month I am going to choose a "uniform" piece of clothing (something I routinely wear--think jeans, white T-shirts...) and I'm going to style it three different ways.  I'll compose the three photos and place them in a post the last Friday of the month.

I'm considering making this a "linky" challenge.  Anyone interested?  If so, leave a comment below!

While you are thinking, here's the first installment of 3 Way

First up, my favorite graphic T.  This $3 Target find is a wardrobe staple.  I generally wear it very dressed down with jeans.  So I challenged myself to some other looks.

Here's what I came up with!

Look #1--The usual. Jeans, knitted cardi, sandals ... all the fixin's for a lovely Indian Summer day.

Look #2--A little Emo (cuz' deep down I'm like that)--striped undershirt, graphic t, skirt, and boots.  Can you say--perfect for a day at the library with kids?

Look #3--Work day.  I managed to wear a T-shirt to work when I paired it with black slacks, heels, killer earrings, and one of my signature filly-jacket tops.

What I've learned: my favorite graphic T is SUPER versatile though I prefer it matched with the color gray (as is painfully evident). 

February's Challenge: Brown Long sleeved T-Shirt

Want to join me?  Pick one long sleeved T (brown if you have it, another color if you don't) and work it 3 ways.  Contact me about linking up to share your 3 way adventure!

Things I Love--Settlers of Catan

I'm kind of a game person.

Perhaps this is because I like interacting with people or because I'm HYPER competitive.

I don't know why I like games, but I do.

My all-time favorite game is The Settlers of Catan

Our friends Andrew and Jess taught us to play in the early 2000s and we are hooked!

Essentially Catan is like a mix between Monopoly and Risk, except it has a definite ending.  To play you set up the board (which can look different each time) and start to "settle" the island.  You have to use trade to buy things and economic concepts such as supply and demand greatly affect the game's outcome.

This photo shows the basic layout but pieces move so it's a different game each time!  Source

I used Settlers of Catan in a ninth grade classroom to introduce students to economic concepts.  One student from that class has since gone on to Penn to major in economics.  His entrance essay discussed how he came to love economics: through a crazy teacher who taught him to play Catan.

Now honestly, the game is overwhelming to learn at first but once you do, it's addictive. You can add on other games (we have Cities and Knights and Seafarers).  The fun multiplies!

On the downside, this game is really only for up to 6 adults and is not fun with just two adults.  Young children shouldn't play (or eat the small game pieces).

But if you are a board-gamer looking for your next game to obsess over, might I recommend The Settlers of Catan?

What games do you love?

What I Think About--Christian Nymphos

Bet that title caught your eye, eh?

Am I the only one who, as a Christian woman, gets mixed messages about sex?

I mean, what little I hear about sex in church is generally related to the "thou shalt nots." Thou shalt not have sex until married. And thou shalt not have sex with the lights on.  Thou shalt not have sex in any position except man on top.

All these "shalt nots" really have me so bound up I feel like I'm trapped in a prison called sexuality.

Is this how God intended me to feel about this gift He calls sex? 

I instantly want to say "NO!" yet I've never heard a group of Christian women sitting around in complete freedom discussing how sexy they feel with their husbands or how free they feel in celebrating their sexuality with their spouses.

For something that's supposed to be divine gift, Christians are pretty tight-lipped.

In a culture of rampant promiscuity, pornography and erotica, I sort of feel that because I'm a Christian I'm supposed to not talk about sex--not think about sex--not experiment with sex--not enjoy sex. The result--sometimes I feel like sex is more of a burden than a gift.

When I read through scripture there are definite references to "thou shalt nots" but have you ever read Song of Solomon?  I mean, that book is ripe with imagery of woman who dances in the freedom of her nude body before her husband; a woman who fully and sexually gives herself to her man; a man and wife who experiments with sexual positions.  She is sexually free to enjoy her husband.

That feels to me more like what sex should be like--the "thou shalls" instead of just the "thou shall nots".

Even though I'm trying to work through this "sexual awakening" where I become more confident with myself, more willing to give myself to my husband, I get "stuck" sometimes.  And where does a Christian woman turn when she needs advice and encouragement about sex?

From my experience it hasn't been the church--it hasn't even been close, Christian friends; thus, I've turned to the internet.

Of course there are all sorts of taboo things on the internet so I was diligent in doing "healthy" searches.  And I came across this site: Christian Nymphos 

The name "Christian Nymphos" is not meant to offend. "Nympho" is a term attributed to a woman with an abnormal desire for sex.  According to The Christian Nymphos, a Christian woman who wants to enjoy sex, talk about sex, experiment with sex and be passionate about sex is very often abnormal in her circle of friends.

The Christian women who run this blog, a few with pastors as husbands, are passionate women who want to teach women to walk in sexual freedom with their husbands.

From what I've seen of the site (and at this point I may have seen everything), The Christian Nymphos aren't afraid to tackle "taboo" topics such as oral sex, anal sex, foreplay, and sex toys.  They answer questions honestly, directly, bluntly and with scripture.

Honestly when I found this site, I was shocked at the content.

It made me uncomfortable.

However, I forced myself to read a few of their articles like How to Have a Sexual Awakening, Correcting Wrong Thinking About Sex, and 10 Ways to Embrace the Sexy Wife God Made You To Be.

While many articles address women who are struggling with their sexuality, many more addressed women who are living with husbands who are "refusers."  I know several women who feel alienated because common talk is the over-sexed man and the "not tonight" wife.  How isolated must a woman feel when she is married to a man who does not desire her often? If that's you, this site has words for you--encouragement.  Specifically check out Living with a Refuser.

The articles I've read made be breathe a sigh of relief.  I was so grateful to know I wasn't the only woman out there struggling with my sexuality and my self-image.  I'm not the only one who needs a community of Christian women discussing sex in a positive, passionate manner. 

What I like most about this site is that it is a community of women.  Men are encouraged to seek information elsewhere and their comments are not allowed until they are monitored.  There are no explicit photos.

Women, on the other hand, are on the Christian Nympho site asking tough questions, sharing romantic ideas, and offering encouragement.  That's why I've bookmarked The Christian Nymphos and continue to check out their posts.

What I think is there is a Christian Nympho inside me dying to get out and share a passionate, intimate sex life with my husband.

How about you?

What I've Done

Yesterday I talked about The Hunger Game book series and why I think the series should be required reading in our high schools.

I basically stated that we need a good dose of reality--our actions and our inactions have consequences.

Leave it to Linkin Park to demonstrate the reality of injustice with such lyrical brilliance.

This video won't make you comfortable.  It is disturbing. 

Isn't that EXACTLY why you should watch it?

First They came... - Pastor Martin Niemoller

First they came for the communists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists ,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me.

The Hunger Games: Required Reading?

A couple of months ago my Facebook page was alive with discussions of The Hunger Game series. 

I'm not one to let a good book series go by so I did my research.  I bought the books.  I read roughly 900 pages in four days.  Yep--they are that good!

Source

This three-book, young adult literature series, penned by Suzanne Collins, describes districts enslaved by a desensitized government who forces two children (12-18) from each district to fight to the death in gladiator-styled games in provide both entertainment and control.

The books follows Katniss as she tries to save her life while noting with irony the concessions of humanity she is willing to make to stay alive.  Katniss rises up as a leader and enemy of the government as she seeks to rectify injustice.

Each book is packed with disturbing detail, uncomfortable "real-life" parallels, and enough suspense to make you want to read the next one ... FAST!

Source

A classic dystopia, this series has gotten negative reviews for being too preachy, too graphic, too disturbing ...

In essence, Collins has done such a fabulous job of re-creating current day injustices that people who would normally think nothing of social injustices are uncomfortable.  They don't want to be reminded about starvation, forced labor, and violent dictators--so long as they are well fed and entertained.

Why bother with petty reminders that not all are as fortunate?

Though classified as a dystopia, I'd say this book reeks of reality and that should be enough to terrify us all.  We aren't sending our kids to the arena to fight and die, but some one is.  And generally it is for entertainment.

Source

The themes in these books are mature, to be sure.  As a parent, would I let my young adult (15+) read it?  Yep!  As an educator, would I use this book series in school?  Absolutely.

As Americans we live in a country of wealth, entertainment, and privilege.  We must be reminded that as we struggle to "look thin," other people are starving.

While we have surgeries to look younger, others are wishing their mortality age was much older.

We can't forget that our privileges come with responsibility and sometimes those responsibilities call for us to sacrifice a few of our frills for basic rights for others.

This book series reminded me of Maurice Ogden's classic poem, "The Hangman" (yes, I used this in class) in which people of a town are systematically hung one-by-one while others watch, out of fear, without protest.  Finally all were dead but one.  And the poem recalls:

"You tricked me. Hangman!," I shouted then,
"That your scaffold was built for other men...
And I no henchman of yours," I cried,
"You lied to me, Hangman. Foully lied!" 

Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
"Lied to you? Tricked you?" he said. "Not I.
For I answered straight and I told you true --
The scaffold was raised for none but you. 

For who has served me more faithfully
Then you with your coward's hope?" said he,
"And where are the others who might have stood
Side by your side in the common good?" 

"Dead," I whispered. And amiably
"Murdered," the Hangman corrected me:
"First the foreigner, then the Jew...
I did no more than you let me do." 

Beneath the beam that blocked the sky
None had stood so alone as I.
The Hangman noosed me, and no voice there
Cried "Stop!" for me in the empty square.

This book series ought to be required reading in every high school.  

May the work of fiction be a sound, sobering reminder that injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

 Want a bit more conviction?  Watch this OLD animated version of The Hangman.

Days of Play--Pancake Snowman

Photo Source

Saturday mornings at our house are "pancake" Saturdays.  Does your family do something similar?  If so, try making these cute, fun, and delicious pancakes!

Try to make some pancake snowmen!

You will need:

• Pancake batter
• powdered sugar
• whipped cream
• m&ms, raisins, crasins, etc.

To Do:

1. Make pancakes in three various sizes: silver dollar, standard, large.
2. Arrange pancakes on a plate in the shape of a snowman.
3. Dust with powdered sugar.
4. Add embellishments to make the snowman come to life.
5. Use whipped cream to look like snowflakes/snow drifts.
6. Eat.