What I Think About: Crying in My Cornbread

There's no use crying over spilt milk.

There's no use crying over spilt perfume.

Is there a use for crying in your cornbread?

Last week we had a cold spell (in Wyoming?  Shocking ...) so I decided to whip up a batch of veggie chili and cornbread.

Here is where the story gets long.  See my mom used to make this killer cornbread.  It was sweet and cake-like and incredibly moist.  I had the recipe--flour, cornmeal, eggs, oil, sour cream, honey (did I mention it was delicious and that almost always means UNHEALTHY?).

Unfortunately about 5 years ago I decided that Krustez cornbread mix was every bit as good as my mom's recipe (one of the few times I've been wrong) and so much easier.  Let's face it, it takes a long time to measure a cup of flour.  Or maybe I'm just lazy.

Anyhow, lately I've just gotten really cheap healthy so I wanted to make more stuff from scratch and less stuff from a box.  Flash forward to the chilly day and veggie chili in need of cornbread.

I go to the recipe box and look under "breads and muffins."  It's not there.  It wasn't under appetizers, beef, poultry, fish, brunch, soups, salads ... it was no where.  The recipe is gone.  Gone as in I looked at every recipe in my recipe box for an hour gone.  Gone.

I was a bit choked up but I put on my big girl panties, googled a recipe, and whipped up a batch of cornbread.  As I stirred the mixture together it happened.  Big, fat crocodile tears started running down my face and into my cornbread ingredients.

Because it was my mom's recipe.

Because it was written in her handwriting.

Because I can't ask her to write it down for me again.

It was this hideous reminder--days before Easter--that she is gone and that I'll never taste her cornbread again.

What I think is that sometimes something as small as a missing recipe makes her death real again.  It shocks me like a bucket of ice water over my head--drenching my strength, leaving me gulping for air, and fighting back tears. As I stood there crying in my cornbread, I was reminded that grief is a long process.

I miss my mom's cornbread but really, I just miss my mom.


Thanks, Shell for letting me Pour My Heart Out (into my cornbread) on your blog.
 

Days of Play: Money Jar

My daughter is learning about money in school and her progress report indicated she needed a bit more work in identifying coins by name and amounts.

So, being the good mom that I am, we played a game called "money jar."

To play, you need a money jar (with coins in it.  I know in this economy your money jar might be empty. I'm sorry), and a flat surface.

Dump all the coins onto your table and have your child sort the coins by size/shape.  Once the coins are in their right groups, go over the names and amounts.  M was having hard time with dimes.  Luckily she knows very rudimentary Spanish so I said, "what is ten in Spanish?"  She said, "Diez."  I said, "how much is this one (pointing to the dime) worth?" She said, "ten" to which I replied, that's right.  A dime has ten like diez is ten.  Dime Diez.  Dime Diez.

She totally gets dime now.

If you want to make this more difficult, pick a coin (for instance, a quarter) and have your child pick another stack of coins that equal that amount (5 nickels, 25 pennies, 2 dimes and 1 nickel).  M thought it was fun to group pennies in 10s and then "trade up" a stack of pennies for a dime or two nickels.

Now if you are feeling particularly adventurous, you could separate the coins into dollar stacks and take your kiddos for a treat; let your children pay in coins (use the quarters first--trust me).

Music Monday: The xx

English Indie Pop.

Seriously, that's all I should have to say and you should be all, "ohh, fun."

The xx is actually an older band (from clear back in 2005!) and if you listen to Rihanna (like my husband does.  Vomit), then you've probably heard some of their music playing in the background.  I've had The xx album on our iTunes for over a year but somehow Matt just heard it.  He thinks the sound is perfect for massage/sexy time.  He's wondering where this band has been all his life.  Well, maybe not but he does like them.

Do you?

Heart Skipped a Beat (my fave!)





 Crystalized (probably their most famous)

 


 Islands (fun and poppy and hey, I want to be on an island)