What I Think About: Polarization and Chicken Sandwiches

Chic-Fil-A drama--it's everywhere.  And technically I'm over it.  Way over it.  So in some ways I'm really bummed I'm writing this but here I am, plunking away on my Mac keys.  I tend to have multiple personalities this way.l

As a committed ally to the GLBTQ cause and a follower of Christ, I've wanted to stay out of the chicken sandwich debate but last Wednesday the Facebook rants were more than I could handle.  I'm not a "sit on the sidelines" kind of girl.  Mike Huckabee and people who are my Facebook friends were showing how committed Christians were since they were lined up at Chic-Fil-A and how this made the leftists crazy. (As though no Christian was ever on the left ... As though I can only be a "good" Christian if I eat a chicken sandwich or verbally condemn GLBTQ people as sinners).

I had a few people ask my take.

You asked for it.

IT'S A CHOICE (OR NOT)

I don't believe sexual/affectional orientation is a choice.  I've been my affectional orientation my whole life--why would it be different for someone else? (I know people have stopped "being" gay but I also know people who have "stopped" being brunettes.  It doesn't mean they were never brunettes--just that they've made a conscious decision to take actions to not be a brunette anymore--maybe because blondes have more fun and privileges. They will always be brunette, regardless of what changes they make to their lives/hair color).  You might believe orientation is a choice but you should know there is no solid proof one way or the other.  So your opinion is just that--OPINION not fact. The big question is this, should your opinion supersede the rights and opinions of others?  If so, why?

For the sake of this debate, I'm gonna play along with the "choice" theory even though I think it's hooey.  Let's talk about choices.

I was not born spouting opinions or toting a firearm but both of these CHOICES are protected.  I was not born a Christian but I CHOSE to become one and that choice is protected.  Choice is protected and valued ... except, it appears, where choosing to love someone is concerned.  Then that choice is discriminated against and put to a vote.  Don't forget, people, that real--and I mean REAL--persecution is coming.  We will be persecuted for CHOOSING Christ.   For CHOOSING our religion.   The precedent we set by denying justice and equality to those whose lifestyles we disagree with will come back on us.  Those we deny Christ to will have their say.  

Most importantly, Jesus did not require us to be clean and perfect before He loved us.  He LOVES people in the darkness.  He loves us at our darkest.  The only CHOICE that in unforgivable is denying Christ.  All other choices Christ can work with.  So get over your "it's a choice" moot point and and take people as they are.  Loving people is a CHOICE.  I CHOOSE to love as Jesus loved--without question and prerequisite because I believe HE makes all things work together for good.  

The FIGHT FOR TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE

Now this whole stink started because Cathy stated Chic-Fil-A supports traditional marriage.  Sounds great, right?

But what is traditional marriage?  Look in the Old Testament Mosaic Law.  Ask King David.  I'm pretty sure the picture of "traditional marriage" was polygamy.  Yes, yes.  We live under the new Covenant.  The new covenant only denies polygamy to men who want to be church leaders.  Polygamy is not prohibited in the Bible and is, in fact, our longest standing picture of marriage.  Aren't we all brideS of Christ?  Does Chic-Fil-A really support "traditional" marriage that includes polygamy?  I doubt it.  What they support is the church definition of marriage being the unity of man and woman that came out of some church meeting long after the death of Christ.

Am I saying I'm for polygamy?  I did NOT say that.  The Bible clearly states everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial.  What I'm demonstrating is how "traditional" marriage doesn't exactly mean what Cathy thinks it means.  Traditional depends on who creates (and enforces) the tradition (we have a historical tradition of slavery but I'm pretty sure none of us are on board with maintaining that practice).

And while I'm on the topic, granting marriage equality doesn't take away what marriage means to "traditional" Christians.  The biggest threat to marriage is divorce (not marriage) and to that I say, Christians, look at your Church and the divorce that is rampant there.  Attack THAT practice and save marriages!

WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY and JESUS

I know what the Bible says about homosexuality.  Do you know what it says about obesity?  Money grubbers?  We still let those people (who make those anti-Christian choices) in church and get married. What gives? Do you know what the Bible says about slavery (and do we support it)?  Do you know what it says about women who aren't virgins (and do we follow that mandate)?  Do you know what it says about powerful women and women leaders (and do we support it)?  Remember the Bible has been used as a bludgeon to uphold slavery, racial segregation, and objectification.  The WORD is truth; however, when used to be "right" rather than "righteous," it is a tool that turns people FROM Jesus rather than TO Jesus.

And now Jesus.  Half the people are supporting Chic-Fil-A because that's what Jesus would do.  Really?  Because the Jesus I know loves whores, and thieves, and the corrupt, and the unclean and He'd probably be feeding those people rather than supporting the Pharasiees who tell those whores they don't deserve equality because of their choices--because they don't uphold every aspect of the law.  The Jesus I know--well, He would be giving grace, not condemnation.

Our role is to turn people TO Jesus and let HIM work in their lives.  We are not the Holy Spirit; it is not our role to judge and convict sinners.  We are just tools who gets to love people so they know Jesus and let Him and the Spirit do mighty works in their lives.

FREE SPEECH, OPINIONS, and BOYCOTTS

Cathy--the President of Chic-Fil-A, as an individual, has a right to his opinion.  However he came out (pun intended) as a spokesperson for his company; thus, it makes sense those opposed to his opinions would lash out at the company.  

Right now you're probably thinking some "free speech" nonsense and that's what it is.  NONSENSE.  Our free speech has been and always will be limited.  Don't believe me? Threaten the President's life.  Go into a crowded venue and scream FIRE!  Trust me, there will be repercussions for what you say.

We can say what we want--that is a given--but with the right to free speech comes the responsibility to accept the consequences of our words.  This is especially true of Christians who will be held accountable for every word we say (Matthew 12:36).  Don't deceive yourself into thinking Cathy (or anyone) should be allowed to say whatever they want without consequence.  How dangerous that would be ...

On a business sense, I don't think states or cities should be able to deny permits because they disagree with a company's opinions, as long as their business practices are legal and ethical.  On the other hand, if individuals want to boycott (not persecute, boycott.  Boycotting is not persecution.  You want to know about persecution?  Read The Voice of the Martyrs) that is their right.

If you just said, "Amen," keep reading.  If you don't want the Government to interfere with opinions, and businesses, then why in the hell should Government be allowed to interfere with whom one loves and shares intimate relations with?  Big Brother Government is bad at work AND at home.  

Now some of my friends insinuate boycotting pushes people away and that Christians should love people rather than boycott them.  Brilliant argument, though tragically flawed. Those who boycott companies they perceive as being Anti-Gay are doing so because they LOVE people and they are taking a stand for equality.  Some support for the 1st Amendment.  Others boycott for the 14th Amendment. 

THE LEFTIES ARE HATE MONGERS 

First, this isn't a right/left issue.  I know lots of Lefties who support Chic-Fil-A and a lot of Righties who refuse to eat Chic-Fil-A because they support martial equality.  Stop polarizing this issue Right/Left because no issues is as easily defined as right/left, regardless of what our politicians and media would like us to believe.  Look at me!  Fiscally conservative, socially liberal.  I don't fit in the box--neither do most people.

As for hate mongering--I know how Christians are labeled as being hateful for standing up for their right to their religious beliefs (frustrating because I'm so pro-equality but because I follow Christ I'm assumed to be an enemy to the cause).  But I also know how Christians draw a line in the sand and are point out the sins of everyone who isn't on their side of the line.  Christians call people they don't know sinners (and sometimes an "abomination") but get irritated when the "sinners" call them hateful?  Hmmm ... 

Here's the truth.  Both sides are slinging crap.  Left and Right.  Both sides.  Faith-based and non-faith based. BOTH SIDES.  So don't come to me with this "I'm being persecuted for my beliefs" garbage because I'm not throwing you a pity party or buying a chicken sandwich to help you feel less persecuted.

If you can dish it, you better be ready to take it.

Or you could learn to turn the other cheek.  I remember reading that somewhere before.  Maybe it was in the Bible.  Or did we forget that part when we were, you know, reading about how it is our Christian right to point out the sins of others (while ignoring our own) and condemn them/discriminate against them for who they love?

WHAT I THINK ABOUT THE CHIC-FIL-A DRAMA

I support the rights of anyone who wants to eat at Chic-Fil-A or NOT.  Doing one does not make you a better defender of free speech, religion, the Republican Party, or Jesus.  Doing the other does not make you a hate-mongering looney liberal hell bent on bringing down marriage and The Church.

This whole incident has done one thing: it has demonstrated how Satan still uses the Pharisees of self-seeking pride and desire to be "right" in order to widen the chasm of misunderstanding and keep people who need Jesus from knowing Him (and keep people who know Jesus from loving like He does).

COMMENTS

Want to comment?  Go for it but I reserve the right to moderate comments.  As the blogger I CHOOSE to limit your free speech if you are unable to enter into conversation and express yourself without being hateful, vindictive, attacking, defensive, or using offensive language/names toward me or others.

What I Think About: School Supplies

On Saturday my family and I loaded up the old four wheel drive and went to Target to get school supplies.  As a former teacher and nerd d' jour, I love shopping for school supplies.  Seriously, I have to talk myself out of smiling like a fool when I see the "Back to School" shelves packed with Crayola crayons and washable markers (which, by the way, I'd like to say BRAVO to the inventor of washable markers).

Anyhow, I was at the store buying school supplies for 5 kids (because our church donates school supplies) and I heard to families in the aisle lamenting over the school supply lists.  I looked at the lists (everyone in town has the same supplies) and I was thinking, "This isn't bad" but based on what I was hearing, the fact that parents are expected to buy crayons or {{GASP}} have their children share crayons is totally unacceptable.

I did a huffy breath at them (I'm reading a lot of Junie B. Jones these days) and pranced away with my red cart brimming full of tissue boxes and post it notes but what I really wanted to say is this.

STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT SCHOOL SUPPLIES!

Here is why I think we all need to stop complaining about school supplies.

1.  OUR KIDS ARE GETTING A FREE EDUCATION!

In America I think it is easy to forget education isn't a right everywhere.  Despite UN mandates that education be free and available for all children, this isn't a reality.  Education is a divine privilege.  We should celebrate that our kids can go to school and a low cost to us (don't get me started on taxes).  There are parents who do not have the good fortune to buy their children school supplies.  How lucky we are that we GET to buy our children school supplies!

2.  YOU DON'T KNOW THE HALF OF IT!


Here's is my daughter's first grade supply list:

• 2 boxes of crayons
• 1 box of washable markers
• a pencil box
• 2 boxes of 24 #2 pencils
• 2 big erasers
• 2 packets post it notes
• 2 glue sticks
• 1 4 oz bottle of glue
• 2 composition books
• 1 1" binder
• 2 pocket folders
• 1 box of quart sized ziplock bags
• 2 boxes of tissue

I also bought supplies for 2, 3, 5, and 6th grade and the lists are about the same.  In total, I spent $150.  That's not bad.  And that's not the half of it.

If you feel compelled to complain about what you are spending, think about what the teacher is spending!  I'm a former teacher and let me tell you, those 48 pencils will be gone by December.  Want to know who buys the rest? The teacher.  Does it come out of some endless budget?  Nope.  It comes out of his/her own bank account.  

The same goes for glue sticks, markers, snacks, etc.  When it runs out (which happens fast when you leave a lid off a marker), parents aren't asked to buy more.  Teachers buy the items.  

Oh, and don't forget about the supplies that are just included at no additional cost to you--like books to read, inspirational posters, dry erase markers, playground equipment, SmartBoards, printer paper, construction papers, clay and other art supplies, P.E. equipment ... I know, I know, this is from our taxes.  Psh.  Our taxes don't cover half of it--just look at the uber poor inner city schools whose property taxes don't address necessities, like working toilets, let alone laptops.

3.  YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR

Nothing irks me more than people who think American education sucks.  Riddle me this: If American education sucks, why do foreign countries model their schools after ours? Why do so many come to the States for college?  It isn't because our schools suck, I'll tell you that much.

I know you've heard how poorly we do on tests compared to other countries.  (I don't buy this.  Read THE MANUFACTURED CRISIS for more information or just remember that our tests test ALL students and then compare them the results of the top 1-10% from other countries ... because everyone doesn't get an education elsewhere--see #1).  My response to this (false) claim is you get what you pay for.

Did you know that in countries, like China and India, people pay as much for education as they do for their cars and homes?  What's your home worth?  Is that what you are putting into education, including your taxes?  Not even close.  

4.  IT'S ALL RELATIVE

As I stated in #3, Americans don't spend that much on education, comparatively speaking.  In fact, we spend more money on homes, cars, food, and entertainment then we do on education.  So the next time you want to complain about spending upwards of $30-$100 on school supplies, ask yourself, are you all worked up that you spend $100/month on a cell phone (or cable)?  Do you think twice about spending $50 on a tank of gas?  How about $25 going out for lunch?  

I understand that buying supplies might seem like a lot of cash at once but when you compare it to how you are spending your money elsewhere, is it really a big deal?  And compared to going out for dinner, is it less important? 

5.  IF YOU SPEND TOO MUCH, YOU ARE PROBABLY GOING OVERBOARD

Okay, I've lived in/taught/gone to school in a few different areas and I've never seen school supply lists that include items such as:

• North Face brand fleece jacket
• Miss Me Jeans
• iPhone
• 5 pairs of new shoes (including the hottest Nikes, Converse, and Jimmy Choos)
• 7 new outfits 
• coordinating accessories including but not limited to: hats, watches, scarves, cardies, hoodies, jewelry, Coach purses, acrylic nails, etc.

I get it.  When you go back to school shopping it costs a fortune.  But is it the supplies that cost a fortune or is it you, as a parent, going overboard to get your child every vanity item he/she desires? Are you getting new backpacks and scissors every year because your child has too much pride to use the same backpack twice? Are you actually spending money on what your children want or what they need?

WHAT I THINK is that if you are feeling overwhelmed with the costs of going back to school, I would look at the items you can re-use or live without.  School supplies, in and of themselves, are not generally the culprit to budget stress but the "keeping up with the Jones family" in terms of new everything and trendy clothing might be.  How can you trim the fat (without taking it out on the teachers who are going to supply the items you don't or that run out)?

P.S.  I fully, totally, and honestly recognize that for some families, just the basic school supplies--like pencils--really do break the bank and NOT because you are budgeting poorly or partying hard but because these are hard times. To you, I apologize for the way "back to school" adds stress to your life or makes you feel like you aren't doing a good job.  You are an amazing parent.  

What I Think About: What the Aurora Guy Deserves

This is actually a re-post from a couple of years ago when Utah put someone to death.  I'd posted something on my facebook page and it started a firestorm like no other.  I had to delete comments because people were name-calling and cussing.  It was a disaster.

But I still maintain my position.

I'm against capital punishment.

I live 10 miles away from the Colorado border.  My dad has been doing cancer treatments in Aurora, Co.  Just two weeks ago I went to the movies in Aurora with my Aunt Blitz.

And then the news of the Aurora slaughterings came out and I've heard and seen enough to know what a senseless, tragic event that was.  In truth, I'm actually NOT reading or watching much because--in my opinion--the only thing worse for the families than dealing with the murder of a family member is hearing over and over about said murders.

Any how, I'm not a fan of the killer, obviously.  But I'm not hoping he gets capital punishment either.

Here's why.

Whenever capital punishment is mentioned, I hear the same arguments.

If we killed more people there would be less crime. 

Sadly research is conflicting.  The data in this research indicate that after an execution, there are 18 fewer murders.  The problem is, correlation does not equal causation.  The moon phases could play into those 18 fewer deaths just as easily.  Other data found there is no correlation because those who commit violent crimes rarely think of consequences prior to committing the crime.  It’s a draw. 

What isn’t a draw is the fact that since DNA testing has been used in courts, many people serving life sentences have been freed and 8 others have been “executed but possibly innocent.”  39 more executed people have been killed in the face of evidence that they were innocent.

Why do I mention this?  Because what I generally hear is my dad people saying, "even if it only deters one crime, even if it saves just one life, I'm for the death penalty."  In my estimation, being against the death penalty might save innocent lives as much, or more, than hoping for capital punishment to be a deterrent.  I guess I'd rather keep one proven and convicted killer in prison for life than "accidentally" killing a person who actually WAS innocent.

We save money killing criminals. 

Hate to say it, but WRONG-O!

One study counted death penalty case costs through to execution and found that the median death penalty case costs $1.26 million. Non-death penalty cases were counted through to the end of incarceration and were found to have a median cost of $740,000.   You do the math.  

Want more info on how much more money taxpayers pay to execute someone?  Click here.

Lethal Injection is humane.

Really?  For some reason I think the majority of humans fear death whether it is "humane" or not.  New data suggest that lethal injection is not as painless as first believed.  And it can be botched.  Actually, the man in Utah who was executed chose the firing squad because it is 100% effective.  The same thing can't be said of lethal injection.  Or the chair.  **Insert shudder here**

He Deserved It.

Don't even get me started on the systemic issues that skew capital punishment.  Borrowing from Thomas More, "We create criminals and then punish them." 

And as a Christian, ask me if I deserve the life of grace I'm living.  Nope.  

Does the killer deserve punishment and to reap the consequences of his actions?  Damn right he does.  Does that have to mean death?  Nope. 

Eye for an Eye

Ah yes, and now the religious excuse for capital punishment.  

It is true that you'll find this statement in the Old Testament (Lev. 24:19-21).  However, you have to look at it contextually.  In ancient days, punishments generally FAR exceeded the crime (think of stoning a woman to death for adultery--not exactly just.  Just would be her husband cheating on her.  Not killing her). 

The command, "an eye for an eye" was actually a call for mercy--that the worst you could do to someone was what they did to you.  This original command was set up so people wouldn't capriciously seek revenge and retribution.  The intent was to solve problems with justice--not revenge.

What I want people to know is that they can't throw Leviticus at me while forgetting Matthew 5:38-39.

You have heard it said, "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth." But I say to you, Do not resist and evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also.

Again, it is all about context. Jesus ISN'T saying we have to be pacifists and never defend ourselves.  He is saying "don't compete with an evil person through retaliation." Don't do to them what they do to you.  

Some other good New Testament stuff: 

• James 4:12 says God is the only lawgiver and judge who can take a life in the name of justice. 
• Romans 12:17-21 warns us against answering evil with evil and assures us that God will see to justice in the afterlife. 
• In John 8:7 Jesus points out that all humans are imperfect, and are therefore unqualified to decide whether someone lives or dies. 
• And a personal little favorite James 1:20: “For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.”

The Bible doesn't steadfastly say YES or NO to capital punishment (so it's probably best not to use the "eye of an eye" defense).

What I Think:

As a Christ following woman, I am against capital punishment.  I believe and trust that Christ came for the "least of these" and that He can redeem people (heck, look what He's done for me!). 

I believe this is a heart issue, not a salvation issue.  If you disagree, you certainly have that right but I personally can't reconcile "loving your neighbor as yourself"with capital punishment.   

What Do You Think?

Even if we disagree, I'd love to hear your side of this issue.  Respectful comments are welcome

~I trust we can all disagree without being disagreeable~ (Comments will be moderated as needed).

By the way, due to some "brave" name-calling at the hands of anonymous visitors, I've removed the possibility to respond to my blog posts anonymously.  If you really believe what you are saying, I trust you'd stand behind it enough to use your name (unlike Little Miss "Your a despicable American but I'm only saying that because you can't see me" from Utah!).

What I Think About: Magic Mike (and Hypocrites)

Magic Mike--The male stripper movie sensation that wasn't.  At least, not really.  Seriously, a movie with a talking teddy bear did better than a movie about strippers.  I'm not sure if I'm relieved or appalled.

All I know is I'm not into it.

My sister and aunt tried to convince me to go watch the movie but I just didn't want to see it.  I told them they were welcome to go but it wasn't for me.

I've had a hard time explaining this because I'm not a prude and I like sex but I'm those things with my husband.  I don't want to go look at other men because it felt dishonoring to my man--the same way it would hurt my feelings if he went to a topless women's club.

Now I know some people are cool with this "look but don't touch" arrangement but I'm not.  And I know I see bare chested men at the pool but I don't go to the pool to watch them and I'm certainly not breaking down any doors to catch a glimpse.  When it comes to my eyes, I do my best to keep them on Matt only.

And then there's the feminist in me who was totally conflicted.  Women being powerful and asserting their sexuality is not a bad thing ... but doing it in the same way men have done it for years--by objectifying people--just didn't sit well with me.  We don't fight objectification with objectification.  Or at least we shouldn't.  Of course I know these actors chose to be in this film and were compensated for their time but it still didn't feel right .  Just like it doesn't feel right to me that compensating women prostitutes makes sex slavery right and justified.

I felt kind of alone if my anti-Magic Mikeness but then I read this blog by Melissa Jenna (<--click that link and read it).  I was wowed by the way she wrote the words of my heart.

There are many levels, spiritual and otherwise, as to why I didn't want to watch Magic Mike and it was comforting to know I wasn't alone.

One area in which I might differ with Melissa is that I'm a firm believer in "heart" issues and "salvation" issues.  Salvation issues are those things laid out in the Bible that are required for salvation.  Heart issues are those pressing topics for which God encourages His followers to question and these are different for everyone.  Some women, like me, struggle with sexual self-image and objectification, and as such--watching a show like Magic Mike could be incredibly harmful.  On the other hand, other women have struggles of the heart that are different.  And this is where grace comes in.  I'll give you the grace to watch what you want (and reap the consequences of those decisions) if you give me the grace to watch (or not watch) what I want (and reap the consequences of those decisions).

I will not and do not want to see Magic Mike for many reasons and I should not be made to feel like a prudish nun for my unwillingness to lust after half-naked men (who aren't my husband).  If your heart is not convicted like mine in on this topic, then I'm okay with that.  You watch what you want to watch; I'll do the same.

What I really hate is this movie is one more way to talk about Christians as being hypocrites because {some} Christians won't see a show like this but will ... divorce at rates similar to those not in the church ... blindly support religious politicians even when they don't walk the walk ... shut down abortion clinics without offering financial, emotional, and physical support to those with unwanted pregnancies ...

Let me let a BIG cat out of the bag.

ALL Christians--yes that's right--ALL CHRISTIANS are hypocritical.  Yes we say one thing and do another (there's even a Bible verse about that).  But you know what else?  EVERY other person in the world is a hypocrite.  Can you name one person {not a religious deity} who has always, in every circumstance, been totally straight-forward and who has never been a hypocrite?  How about the mom who tells her kid not to lie but then lies (in fun) about Santa at Christmas?  How about the Republican who wants to balance that budget but spends bazillions on a war?  Or that Democrat who wants equal pay for women and yet the women working in his White House make 70% of the men who work there?  Or the man who tells his child to be a good sport and then screams at the referee?

We are all hypocrites people.  Get over it.  Find a new argument.

What I think about Magic Mike is I am over it (and judging by the box-office slump, so is everyone else).  While I am open to conversations challenging one another in our beliefs about watching, or not watching, such shows and discussing what is (and isn't) pornography, I really hate the conversation focusing narrowly on how hypocritical Christians are without fully examining how hypocritical ALL people are.

Phew.

The end.

What I Think About: The Fourth of July

I'm sure this will get me in heaps of trouble but whenever the Fourth of July rolls around I think of this scene from Dazed and Confused (I was in high school with this movie came out.  I own in on VHS).

Watch the scene:



So if you don't want to watch the scene (which means there is something clearly wrong with you) here is what the teacher tells this class of high schoolers:

Okay guys, one more thing, this summer when you're being inundated with all this American bicentennial Fourth Of July brouhaha, don't forget what you're celebrating, and that's the fact that a bunch of slave-owning, aristocratic, white males didn't want to pay their taxes.

Some people see this scene and read this quote and blow off this sentiment as women's lib b.s. Others attack this viewpoint as revisionist history.  Another select group grab hold of this as The truth.

Is it true?  You betcha.  This nation was founded by slave owning rich men who didn't want to pay their taxes.  Is that all there is to it?  Not a bit.  Those people gave up everything--even their lives--for what we are celebrating today.

I love this quotation not because I'm anti-patriotic but because I love this country so much that I'm not afraid to talk about inconsistencies of its dark past, its present, or its future.   I love living somewhere that we can read that quote, see it many different lights, and still get a long (or at least not publicly stone people to death for disagreeing).

Happy 4th of July.

Now go grill something.

Things I Love: One Disney Princess

Two years ago this August I wrote one of my most looked at blog pieces on Disney Princesses (<--Click here if for no other reason than to read some of the comments.  Hysterical.  Especially the one telling me to turn off comments if I don't want them ... clearly that person doesn't understand reverse psychology!  And of course there's the comment that says something to the effect of "people with stupid facts ruin everything."  I'm pretty sure that comment is from a politician. Good logic, that one!).

In me previous Disney Princess post, I talk about my issues with the princess movies.

• Princess either have no mom or a messed up relationship with their mom.
• Princesses are weak and must be in the care of a man.
• While princesses have amazing character qualities and talents, it is their physical beauty that gets the man--not the heart underneath.
• Princess movies perpetuate cultural myths and are historically inaccurate
• Princess movies can be super scary

Of course my daughter is slowly seeing these movies and we are talking about the stuff that bothers her and the stuff that bothers me (BTW--I never advocate not to watch them so don't get all bristly on me).  What's really funny is so far, she doesn't like most of the princesses.  And by most, I mean she only likes Rapunzel from Tangled.  She has not asked to see any of the other shows for a second time.  

Until now.

Now my daughter and I agree on one princess.  Merida (the star of BRAVE).

Photo from FilmFilia

We took our kids to see Brave and although there was still some scary magic stuff and some freaky bear scenes, I found the movie to be quaint and charming.

Did it perpetuate cultural stereotypes of pre-Christian Scotland being filled with dark, blood-thirsty, drunken men in kilts?  You betcha.  What do you expect?  It's Disney.

Was it filled with humor and great graphics? You betcha.  What do you expect?  It's Pixar.

Unlike other shows, though, I loved, loved, loved Merida.

Here's why I finally love a Disney Princess (and a princess movie):

• Merida wears a dress but she is not overly girly.  She likes to run and be wild and do archery.  She's almost like a real girl, like my daughter, who can go from make up to mud in under thirty seconds.  Finally a movie that shows the fullness of gender roles (and how they can be crossed).
• Merida has good and bad characteristics.  Unlike other princesses who are "always good", Merida is disobedient, sneaky, and selfish.  I love that she has some rust on her and that kids get to see the consequences of negative behaviors.
• Merida has good characteristics.  Above and beyond being kind to animals and being a good singer (like most princesses), Merida is brave, loyal to her family, doting on her brothers. She's not afraid to apologize and try to make amends.
• Merida has a mother.  YAY for mothers and daughters!  Yes, a girl ought to have the love of a father but she also should have the love of a mother (most Disney princesses have no mother relationship). Is Merida's mother a bit overbearing?  Yep.  Do they struggle? Yep.  Does her mother love her to the point of doing anything to protect her, even to change for her daughter?  Yep.  Finally, a Disney mother-daughter relationship that isn't sick and twisted.
• Merida is girl next door pretty. She isn't flawless.  She isn't the skinniest girl on the block.  She doesn't have every hair in place or lipstick on her lips. She is alive and vivid (for a cartoon, that is).  Somehow not being drop dead gorgeous makes her so ... appealing.
• Merida doesn't need the Prince.  Sure boys are vying for her hand, political alliances and all, but Merida is more concerned with her family and finding her path than being defined by love and a man.  Sure I hope she ends up with the right guy but I hope that doesn't happen until the right time.  In the meantime, I'm content with her strengthening her relationship with her mom, dad, and brothers.

Yes. It's true.  I finally love a Disney Princess.  I'll own this show and I'll watch it over and over again with my kiddos. 

**If you haven't seen Brave yet, then I encourage you to read the movie review by Plugged in (click that link).  There are some scary scenes in the show and, depending on your level of comfort, some themes might not be suitable for your children.**

What I Think About: NOT Waiting for the Golden Years

A friend of mine moved away and came back for a little visit.  Since we all have kids we brought out our mom plan: go to the park so kids can play and we can talk. It worked like a charm.

While we were at the park, the discussion turned to the things we desired--a little vacay, sleeping in, a day in bed watching movies ... The audible mom sigh sounded.  And then the question came ... the question lurking in our minds but rarely spoken aloud ...

"It will happen, right?"

As in, "One day I'll get to lay in bed and watch movies again like I did in college?  "One day I'll get to sleep until ten?"  "One day I'll get to take a relaxing vacation?"

Of course we all joked that these things would happen ... as soon as our kids were out of the house.

The Golden Years.  We hear about this magical time in life when you are financially secure and not tethered down by jobs and napping infants.  Apparently this is when sleep happens and travel occurs and memories are made.  So we trudge through this day dreaming of these Golden Years.

My parents had a Golden Years plan.  They were going to have a cabin in Alaska and stay there all summer but they'd winter in the lower states.  They'd have a fifth wheel and just drive from one spot to the next seeing the country.  They'd had this plan my whole life.  They were waiting for kids to be gone and to be secure.

Then the recession hit and all that financial security was gone.  My mom got sick and died.  This was no where in the Golden Years Plan.  During the weekend of mom's memorial my dad was covered in family and screaming grandkids and my sister and I were frazzled, exhausted messes and he looked right at me and said, "THESE are the Golden Years, don't waste them."

This craziness?  This brokenness?  This exhaustion?  THESE are the Golden Years?

I looked at that man, at his shattered dreams and his regrets of waiting for "one day" rather than living each day as though it were "one day" and I knew what he was saying.  Nothing, nothing is guaranteed for us.  We can plan and save and wait but our plans, they are not set in stone.  Something like the economy or CADASIL can change everything.

We have to live and love and enjoy now because "one day" might not happen.  Living life to its full is a daily mission, not some big dream for the future.

What are we waiting for?  Are we too afraid to actually live today?  Are we too afraid of what it would cost or that it might make us humbly ask for help or give up something?  What are we waiting for?  Why do we wait to live when we could be living, really living, right now?

I don't want to wait for the stars to align to sleep in a little.  I don't want to wait until I'm on the brink of insanity to take a vacation.  I don't want my children to feel like a burden ... like I can't wait for them to leave so I can start living.

I want to live like this is my Golden Year, even when--on many levels--it feels like a Job year.

What do you desire?  What can you do to make it a reality?

What can you do to really live today?

If you want to sleep in, can you make a "sleep schedule" with your spouse alternating Saturday morning sleep in times?
If you want a day in bed, could family or friends take your kids for a night?
If you want a vacation, could you cancel cable to save for it or do a staycation?

What I think is the days go slowly but the years go quickly and I will not be waiting for some dreamy "one day" to start living the life I dream about.  It starts today because today is all I might have.

Thanks, Shell for letting me Pour My Heart Out on your blog.

What I Think About: Passwords

On Monday Matt and I were at the VA with my dad waiting for his minor surgery and we had to listen to some awful talk show with several female hosts (Darlene from Roseanne? Molly Ringwald?  What is going on with daytime TV?).  Anyhow the question they were discussing was "do you check up on your partner's web use?

ALL of the ladies admitted checking their partners' facebook/twitter posts, etc.  However, they made a big deal that they do not check e-mails or ever log onto their partners' accounts.  In fact, they stated they do not share passwords because if you are checking on your partner then the relationship has "bigger problems."  One woman even said, "If you go lookin' for trouble, you'll find it.  I'm not going looking."

Well, this discussion took place in two minutes and obviously killed half my brain cells but it did get me thinking---should we share our e-mail/social networking passwords with our partners?

On one hand, I think no.  Relationships are built on trust and if you ask for my passwords, I'll think you don't trust me.

On the other hand, if I have nothing to hide, why would it bother me?  Relationships are also built on accountability and who better to keep you accountable than your partner?

Just being totally upfront here, I know Matt's passwords and he knows mine.  I do NOT get on any of his sites or accounts because I'm checking up on him.  I have, however, on occasion gotten on to retrieve an e-mail receipt or to find something for him.  I trust Matt but I also feel secure knowing that he is trusting enough of me to be accountable with his sites.  And vice versa.

I guess for us, passwords are like fire extinguishers.  We keep them in the house but don't use them unless there's an emergency.

What I think about passwords is that sharing them helps promote trust and accountability.

What do you think?  Do you share your passwords with your partner?  Why or why not?


 Thanks, Shell for letting me Pour My Heart Out on your blog.

What I Think About: Puppies

Puppies.

Now there's a controversial topic if I've ever heard one, right?

If you think I'm going down this road of cat v. dog people, you're wrong.  Some people hate cats. Some people hate dogs.  What can you do?  As far as I'm concerned they just shouldn't get married (unless they have some mad compromising skills).

If you think I'm going to totally pounce on buying puppies from breeders or pet stores, you're wrong.  I have strong opinions about that.  I'm a girl who gets my pets from the shelter or rescues (since I do like one specific breed).  Buy one from a breeder, kill one from a shelter. That's my thought but if you're a breeder reader, have no fear, I'm okay agreeing to disagree.

What I really want to say is this.

I. Cannot. Stand. Puppies.

Phew.  I feel better.

Really, this friend of mine has a dog with a litter of (9!) puppies and she posts pictures of them on facebook and people leave these ooey gooey comments and I think, what am I missing?

To me, puppies smell weird and they don't do much and they make this strange pig grunt noise thing.  And when they do get old enough to do stuff it involves chewing valuables, pooping and peeping, and barking.  This leads to lots of training and gadget buying.

I guess some people look at puppies and see the possibility of those cuddly little balls of fur.  Me?  I see hard work and commitment.  Maybe it's just my personality but I just want to put my hard work and commitment into, I don't know, my children.

Anyhow, I have two dogs.  I love, love, love them.  They are amazing.  I got them from shelters/rescues older and potty trained.  My kind of dog.  All the benefits, none of the awkward puppy phase.

Our 4 legged family members: Finnigan Smooter and Brinkley Sue--Saved at a shelter older and trained.

I promise--I don't have a bad heart.  I just don't like puppies.  That doesn't make me a bad person--does it?

Thanks, Shell for letting me Pour My Heart Out on your blog.

 

What I Think About: THAT Mom

Moms are probably some of the most judgmental people I know.  Those who breast feed judge those who don't (and vice versa).  Those who stay at home judge those who don't (and vice versa).  We judge the mother of the dirty kid at McDonalds and the mom bribing her kid to stop throwing a tantrum so she can get out of the grocery store.

Lucky (?) for me, people judge me most often in a different way.

People like to come to my house and look at how clean and organized it is.  And then they like to make believe that I have it all together because my floor is mopped and there are no smudge prints on the window.

It is true.  Thanks to a sound training in home cleanliness from my mom mixed with some early tendencies toward OCD, my house is clean.  Eat off my floor--I dare you.

But don't put me in the "she's got it all together" box.  I don't live there.

Most days, I am THAT mom.

• Sometimes (and by sometimes I mean 9 times out of 10) I don't remember to tell my kids to wash their hands after they go to the bathroom or before they eat a meal.
• I will let my son watch shows on my iPhone so I can grocery shop without a meltdown.
• I've left my son in an aisle in Target when he threw a whopper of a tantrum (yes, I peeked from the end cap to be sure no evil pedophiles kidnapped him).
• I've watch my kids flick a booger somewhere and not bothered to find it and clean it up.
• My children have had cereal for dinner.
• We always have mac-n-cheese, chicken nuggets, and frozen pancakes at our house.
• I've gone out without remembering to pack diapers, wipes, pacifiers, and blankets.
• I've "not heard" my children so I could doze an extra 15 minutes in the morning.
• I've let the TV babysit my kids so I could read another chapter in my book.
• I've forgotten to give my kids a bath ... 5 days in a row.
• I've "lost" toys and game pieces and books that I simply couldn't stand to play with/read one more time.
• I've gone on vacation and not felt guilty about it.  I've even dreaded coming home (a little bit).
• I've let my kids wear outfits that don't match, were too small, and were entirely disgusting.
• I've let my kids hear music with not-so-great-lyrics.
• I've fantasized about what it would be like to not have children.
• I've let my kids leave the house with grimy faces, runny noses, and filthy hands.
• I've wished my daughter wasn't potty trained so we didn't have to pull over ever 20 minutes to let her pee.
• I've struggled with what to do when my children won't apologize.
• I've yelled in anger.
• I've spanked my children.
• I've totally lost my cool and freaked out on my children.
• I've let my kids go to bed without brushing their teeth because those teeth are gonna fall out anyway and it wasn't worth a fight.
• I've pretended not to see something my kids did in order to avoid having to deal with it.

Yep.  I'm that mom. The one who doesn't have it all together. The one who sometimes can't manage to go shopping without someone crying.  The one who would rather let her children look ratty and dirty rather than fight with them about washing their faces.

What I think is my house might always be clean and you may never (ever) see me in public in my pajamas but do NOT let that fool you.  I'm that mom--the one who does not have it together.

Are you THAT mom too?  Prove it in the comments below!


Thanks, Shell for letting me Pour My Heart Out on your blog.
 

What I Think About: Counting My Memories, Er Blessings

My sister sent me a text last night saying something to the effect of, "I'm already dreading tomorrow."

Tomorrow?  Why tomorrow?  Of course I knew.  Of course it had been nagging at me and I responded to the pain the way I generally do--by ignoring it until it couldn't be ignored.

May 2.  Mom's 61st birthday.  It's here.

I got angry.  Always, I get angry.  Mad she turned 60 and died.  Mad 60 was a waste.  Mad I won't see her blow out those 61 candles.  Mad I don't freaking have a mom.  Mad! But if counseling has taught me anything, then it has taught me anger is a surface feeling--a feeling that keeps us from feeling other feelings.

I stood in the shower long and hot and pondered what do I really feel?  Under the hurt and anger--what do I feel?  I feel ashamed for wasting time with her--for not saying "I love you" enough.  I feel disappointed my children will never know her how I knew her.  I feel scared I'll die of the same disease.  I feel a profound sense of orphaness.

These last few months I just haven't been the same.  I've been bogged down in the bad.  Letting her death and my dad's cancer, and the every day grind eat away at my joy and hope.  I see other daughters complaining about their mothers and I want to grab their shoulders and scream at them to just shut up and love their moms because one day--despite the over-sharing of advice and the giving grandkids too much candy and toys, and the petty fights over whose house they'll go to for Christmas--their moms will be gone and they will wish deep in their soul for just one more moment.

Now I'm not going to go all motivational speaker on you.  I'm not going to tell you to live in the moment and seize the day and make it all count.  I'm not.  And if I did, you wouldn't listen anyway because life--poopy diapers, whopping piles of laundry, runny noses, and chores--gets in the way of enjoying life.

But what I am going to do--for my sake and not yours--is to remember on these bad days what made the good days so damn good.  I read 1000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp (and if you haven't then I really think you should) and she talks about how all Biblical miracles were preceded by thanks, by gratitude, by the naming of blessing.  So today, I'm not going to wish I had seized the day.  I'm not going to wallow in "what I could have done" or "should have done."  I'm going to get out of my pity-party by naming 61 memories of my mom.  Memories are, perhaps, the sweetest blessings.

In no particular order:

1. One time at the grocery store I snuck an economy sized jar of grape jelly into the grocery cart.  When we got home, my mom told me that jelly was all I would eat on sandwiches until it was gone.  To this day, I hate grape jelly.
2. My mom called me one time on December 23 to tell me about this sweater Matt just had to have. The store was sold out so she, over the dissent of the store clerks, stripped the mannequin of the display sweater and demanded it be sold to her.  I don't even know if Matt still has that sweater.
3. My mom and I painted ironing-board sized Santas together.  
4. My mom called my cat Nanners.
5. She loved Cherry Garcia ice cream (I think I'll have some today--in celebration of her).
6. She owned a Subway and would make Cheez-Wiz sandwiches.
7. She never did learn the lyrics to The Grundy County Auction (hey pretty lady won't you give me a sign I do anything to make you mine) despite attempts to teach her.
8. When I was a kid, she'd give me 50 cents to go to 7-11 to get a slurpee.
9. My mom took me to get my black lab, Cubby.
10. Once my mom took me swimming at the YMCA.  All of a sudden she pulled me out of the water and we sped home.  I was mad we had to leave. Turns out, there was a tornado spotted about 3 blocks away.
11. She had expensive taste in jewelry. I'm certain this is genetic.
12. She spent her summers on a farm in Trehern, Manitoba.
13. She became a U.S. citizen on August 22, 2010.  She moved to the states in 1969.
14. My mom taught me about percentages by taking me shopping and out to eat.  To this day, no one can figure out a tip faster than I can.
15. She made the best corn bread.
16. She loved pigs.
17. My mom named me after her best friend, Heather Joy.
18. Although she generally followed rules, she loved to speed.  She never got a ticket.
19. I get my cleaning OCD tendencies from her.
20. When I was in junior high, my mom would paint my fingernails with amazing designs.  My fave was the time she painted my nails to look like tuxedos.
21. I wore her senior prom dress to my junior prom because class never goes out of style.
22. Her face when I tried on wedding dresses.
23. Her face when she saw me in THE wedding dress.
24. Those 15 minute lectures that lasted an hour.
25. I used to love jamming to Karma Chameleon with her.
26. In 2002 I got heat stroke and stayed in bed for days.  She read Anne of Green Gables to me.
27. Her smile.
28. The deep, throaty "oooooo" sound she made when she scratched animals on their chin.
29. No one will make chicken marsala the way she did.
30. The woman was terrified of spiders---but I got her to hold a tarantula and smile.
31. Going on the roller coaster on New York New York in Vegas.
32. Giggling at my dad as he danced to rap music on a pirate cruise in CanCun.
33. Feeding the ducks at Disneyland.
34. The time she caught me trying to light a cigarette butt.
35. The fights we had about not being a pack-rat (I outgrew this phase).
36. The way she used to brush "Kitty" for hours.
37. Whenever my checkbook was off, I knew she could find the error and fix it.
38. She loved to go to Baskin Robbins where she'd get a scoop of Jamocha Almond Fudge and a scoop of Kaluha and Cream (and when that flavor was gone, Pralines and Cream).  
39. Once it took her an hour--literally--to eat 2 scoops of ice cream.
40. It was awkward but she went with me to buy my wedding night and honeymoon boudoir. 
41. When I got back from my honeymoon, she asked if the sex went well.  Again, awkward!
42. She never could figure out how to cut and paste and I used to get so frustrated trying to teach her.  But hey, my father in law isn't sure you are supposed to type in the address bar so I guess she was more advanced then I give her credit for.
43. She could remember the sandwich orders of at least 50 regular customers.  
44. Although she was a business owner, her businesses all included service. She treated her customers with kindness and respect even when they treated her with condescension and disdain.
45. There was never a chocolate the woman didn't like.  Especially if it was a Reisen.
46. I used to freak her out by rubbing velvet on her.  The feel of velvet gave her the heebie jeebies. I still don't get it.
47. She did not like heights.
48. Even though she pretended to think it was inappropriate trash, secretly my mom loved 90210 and Melrose Place.
49. My mom forced me to cut my hair when she didn't think I was taking good care of it.  I don't have the right face for a pixie cut.  My bone structure is all wrong.  I've forgiven her.
50. My mom tried to convince my sister to name her child Eaton Klindt.  She never got why this was both totally inappropriate and hilarious.
51. She bought a Volvo XC90 because I told her they were awesome.  I was right.
52. When I got my first period she didn't have much sympathy.  She was like, "here's a tampon, let's go."  I'm so glad she didn't let me lay around and mope about the whole thing. It's natural--why act like it's not?
53. Telling her I needed a bra was horribly embarrassing (not to mention a total lie).  
54. When I was in labor and getting wheeled back for an emergency c-section I saw her crying.  I was irritated because it was about me, not her.  But now that I'm a mom, I get it.
55. On the Christmas we insisted she go to the Mayo Clinic we had a massive family fight. The sons-in-laws and kids took refuge in the basement.  This is just the way we solved problems--loud voices, passionate debate, anger, and a plan.
56. My mom did not get gray hair.  Can I get an Amen?
57. I remember the poem I wrote telling my parents I was pregnant.  And I remember my mom calling to make sure she understood the poem correctly.
58. I love to sing in the car. I can't hold a tune.  I got both of these qualities from my mom.
59. There has never been anyone who could more effectively cover a mall with speed and accuracy and without need for food, drink, bathrooms, or a break.  To say she was a professional shopper is quite an understatement.
60. She never knew that I knew but when I had my first child, she came in to watch me "sleep."  She just stood in the doorway and watched me--the way I watch my babies.
61. My senior year my dad was traveling.  I came downstairs for breakfast.  We had chocolate cherry cake and vanilla ice cream. Best. Breakfast. Ever.

What I think is counting blessings--counting memories can't erase the pain but it can bring peace.  That in and of itself is a miracle.  Peace in the storm.  

See that comment section?  Why don't you share a memory/blessing of your mom?


Thanks, Shell for letting me Pour My Heart Out on your blog.
 

What I Think About: Nookie Lights

I did it all for the nookie, c'mon 
The nookie, c'mon 
So you can take that cookie 
And stick it up your yeah! 
Stick it up your yeah! 
Stick it up your yeah! 
Stick it up your

Anyone remember this dreadful Limp Bizkit song?  Seriously.  Blech.

BUT, I will say this, I'm a fan of the Nookie Light.

What's this, you ask?  Let me tell you.

Well, let me tell you a hypothetical.  Husband wants a little lovin.  Wife has had enough kids loving on her and wants to sleep.  She says, "not tonight dear."  Dear gets upset and says, "You never initiate sex.  You never seem to desire me."  Wife rolls over and consents to begrudgingly have sex but neither partner wants it now.  

You see, some couples fight about sex.  Between headaches and long days and kids and Aunt Flo and unmatched libidos, some couples just can't quite get it together, sexually speaking.  And so fights about sex are common.

The Nookie Light is one of many solutions.  Essentially, you put a light (or candle) in your bedroom.  When one partner is feeling it, s/he lights/turns on the light/candle.  This is a way of indicating BOTH interest and a willingness to make a move.  Now, if the other partner is interested (or at least willing), s/he leaves the light on.  If the other partner is NOT interested, s/he turns the light off/blows out the candle.  

In the event the Nookie Light gets turned OFF, there are two rules that CANNOT be broken: 1.  There is no questioning WHY the light was turned off.  2. Whoever turned the light off commits to turning the light ON within the next week.

The whole point of the nookie light is to help couples who fight about sex communicate desire and interest without actually communicating (because even when it is said in love, "not tonight" sounds pretty harsh.).  Now, is one partner sometimes still getting a "no?"  Yeah, sometimes.  But "seeing" no and "hearing" no sometimes cause two different reactions.  PLUS, the "no" comes with a promise to pursue in a week so there's a silver lining in the disappointment.

What I think is Nookie Lights will never be a substitute for open communication but if you and your partner need a little help communicating, then I'm all for the Nookie Light!

Thanks, Shell for letting me Pour My Heart Out on your blog.
 

What I Think About: Walking the Walk

Have you heard this verse before?

"but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" (Isaiah 40:31).

I once learned that in Hebrew poetry, the last statement was generally the most important, the most relevant, the most consistent, the most powerful.   

Isn't that true here?

I mean some days I feel like I am soaring.
Some days I feel like I can run without tiring.
But most days I feel like a success if I just persevere through the day.

Do you ever feel like this?

It makes me feel kind of guilty--like where is my joy in the Lord?

You have to watch the following clip because I think it obliterates the lies of this world about success and pride all the while sharing in a tremendously relevant way, why The Walking is the most important part of our lives.



Did you get a bit teary-eyed?

I love sports films--Rudy, Sea Biscuit, Hoosiers, Invincible--because they are so inspirational.  And this clip is no exception.

I watched it and thought--this is what a relationship with God is like.  This is it!

The runner wasn't guaranteed worldly success (a gold medal) because he had a father--and neither are we.

The runner didn't avoid pain because he had a father--and neither will we.

Even in his father's presence, there was pain, agony, shame, despair, disappointment, brokenness, and humility--and so there will be for us as well.

On the bright side, the runner's father was there.  He was watching.  They couldn't keep him away in his son's time of need.  Just like God.

The father would have loved his son if he quit.  And God will love us if we quit, too.

The father walked with the son when the son wouldn't quit.  And God will walk with us, too.

The runner didn't get traditional worldly glory.
There was no gold waiting at the finish line.
There would be no Nike commercials featuring his face.
Though he finished to a standing ovation, the only thing that really waited for him was a stretcher, a time of painful healing, and a lifetime of "what ifs."

Now, however, who can remember the name of the gold medalist?  Was God not given more glory by persistently finishing the race in pain than winning a medal?

Sometimes we are under the perception that a relationship with God makes life easy.  That with Him there is wealth, health, and happiness. 

But look at this truth. Sometimes we will soar. Sometimes we will run without tiring.  Most of the time we will walk.

We will walk through pain.
We will walk through brokeness.
We will walk through lonliness.
We will walk through shame.
We will walk through guilt.
We will walk through blame.
We will walk through feelings of inadequacies.
We will walk through anger.
We will walk through doubt.

In the end it isn't about whether the race was short or long, easy or difficult.  It's about whether we finish.  And it doesn't matter if we finish soaring, running, walking, or carried in the arms of Our Father.  It matters that we finish.

And that's what I think about Walking the Walk.