Fashion Friday: Summer to Fall

It happens every year in Wyoming.

We have these A.MAZING August feeling October days one minute and then next thing you know, WHAM the temperature drops 36 degrees.

So what's a girl to wear on summer feeling fall days that drop to into the freeze zone with a little cloud cover?

Easy.  You work your summer gear into fall.

Here are some EASY peasy outfit combos!

1 summer dress/skirt + jean jacket/cardi + scarf/statement necklace + tights + boots= soft layers

Source: kendieveryday.blogspot.com via Reagan on Pinterest

Source: gallery.me.com via Reagan on Pinterest

1 button down blouse + sweater vest + dress shorts + tights + boots + cardi/blazer= sassy layers

Source: flickr.com via Reagan on Pinterest

jeans + 1-2 layering Ts + blazer + scarf= take off/add on when those temps gets schizo layers

Source: sundaycrossbow.blogspot.com via Reagan on Pinterest

Source: tumblr.com via Reagan on Pinterest

See.  Simple formulas make dressing easy :)

Fashion Friday: Orange

Orange. My sister's favorite color--and for good reason because no one makes orange look as good as she does.

But we can try.  And this fall, you can count on varying shades of orange ... from nude peaches to deep burnt orange ... to show up in scarves, sweaters, jewelry, and tights.

For a country-chic look (and to take summer into fall) take a summer dress, add a jean jacket (or cardi), scarf, tights, and boots and WA-LA ... hello awesomeness!

Source: polyvore.com via Tiffany on Pinterest

Keeping it light, cool, and super casual (yet so darn cute!)

Source: shereezee.polyvore.com via Reagan on Pinterest

Beautiful business casual

Source: polyvore.com via Reagan on Pinterest

And as a feast for your eyes, some orange statement pieces I'd love to rock (or that have been rocked well by others!)

Source: warehouse.co.uk via Reagan on Pinterest

Source: bees-knees.tumblr.com via Reagan on Pinterest

Source: piperlime.gap.com via Reagan on Pinterest

Source: lookbook.nu via Reagan on Pinterest

So, guess what color I love this fall? Anyone? Anyone? Buellar?

{Fall} Things I love: SOUP

Can I get a "hell ya" for a hot bowl of soup on a cloudy, rainy fall day?

Seriously, nothing tastes better on a crisp day than comfort food in the form of soup.

My favorite not-so healthy soup recipe came from my mom.  Rilda's Kickin' Chicken Corn Chowder.  Seriously--so good!

And did I mention easy on the wallet?  Frontier Kitchen featured this recipe on Make it Cheap Monday.

Photo and step-by-step directions from Frontier Kitchen

Another hearty soup I can't get enough of is Aunt Amy's Taco Soup.  Plus, you know soup can't be bad if you eat it with Fritos!

Of course last year I featured a whole day on Creamy Tomato Spinach Soup.  This is still a family fave when paired with cheese bread.

Soup is souper!  

(P.S.   See all those blue links?  If you click them you can actually see the recipes.  Mmmmm)

What I Think About: Spanking (a re-post)

To Spank or Not to Spank?  What a Scary Question

Spanking is a pretty hot topic and I want Pour My Heart Out on the subject.   What I put here, of course, is my opinion only and should not be a substitute for prayer and research on your part. 

Let me start by announcing boldly that I am not drawing a line in the sand.  I am not saying it is good or bad to spank.  I’ll probably get hate mail for my refusal to be black or white but you should know that grey is my favorite color and my favorite place to be.

So, here are random ramblings related to spanking.

First and foremost, I know that the AAP, Dr. Phil, and Super Nanny are against spanking. Those experts are speaking to a large demographic and given the prevalence of child abuse, not endorsing corporal punishment makes sense. But I also know that these experts are not your child’s parents and they may not have your belief system.

Biblical References

Corporal punishment is mentioned in the Bible.  Here are some verses to reference:

He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him (Proverbs 13:24).

Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him (Proverbs 22:15).

Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die (Proverbs 23:13).

The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother (Proverbs 29:15)

My Thoughts on These Verses

First, shepherds used rods to guide and direct their sheep.  At times the crook was put around a sheep’s neck to get it out of crags. Other times it was used physically to direct sheep.  The rod is used metaphorically and it is stated, “your rod and your staff comfort me.” Please note that while “rod” can mean corporal punishment, it can also mean guidance. 

In Proverbs 13:24, parents who love their children are “careful” to discipline them.  Think about the word “careful.”  It means intentionally exercising caution.  In my opinion, if you yell or strike out at a child in a fit of wrath and anger, you are not carefully disciplining.     

Proverbs 22:15 talks about disciplining a foolish child.  I caution you to be aware of the difference between rashly acting or being foolish versus being childish.  Your child will do things that will make you angry that are childish, not foolish.  Spilling milk is childish, not foolish.  Do not discipline your child for being childish—correct them.  Guide them.

Proverbs 23:13 and 29:15 encourage parents not to shy away from guiding and disciplining their children.  You are your child’s biblical authority.  Be their loving authority and advocate. You are responsible to train your child, which might include corporal punishment but also means more than spanking.

Given these verses, I do think that corporal punishment is biblically founded and may be useful when used correctly.  When done incorrectly, spanking can cause humiliation, anger, and bitterness in the heart of your child. It can harm children emotionally and physically, and is child abuse.

Spanking is not prohibited and may be encouraged.  However, you must remember that "everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial" (1 Cor 10:23).  There are biblical guidelines on how to discipline a child correctly. If you are not willing to put time and effort into praying and researching how to correctly discipline your child, please do NOT spank them.

Corporal punishment is a heart issue, not a salvation issue; therefore, I can't tell you that you must or must not do it.  Spanking or not does not make you a good, Christian parent.

What We Do

I went into parenting being 100% opposed to spanking; Matt viewed corporal punishment in a more positive light.  Therefore, we researched and prayed and came up with our parenting style. 

We have spanked our daughter a couple of times in response to severe, repeated disobedience. But more often, we’ve used time-outs, natural consequences, and loving guidance and discussion.

Conclusion

In the end, the decision to use or not use corporal punishment can only be made by you and your husband after a time of prayer and research.

If you choose to use corporal punishment, please read Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp.  This book will instruct you on spanking in a manner that encourages forgiveness and reconciliation. 

Some basic guidelines:

• Never spank in anger or out of wrath.  Corporal punishment is not about vindication, retribution, or emotional release.
  
• Do not spank your child for being childish.  Being disobedient and being childish are very different issues.
  
• Never punish in a manner that embarrasses or humiliates your child.
  
• Have a conversation with your child.  Try to find out why the disobedience happened and explain why the action was not correct.  Don’t lecture; listen.
  
• If the situation requires a spanking, spank your child only on the bottom.  Use one or two swats that sting.  Test on your thigh first.
  
• Show your child that it hurts you to spank them.  Encourage reconciliation and forgiveness.
  
• Pray with your child.
  
• When the event is done, it is done.  Do not re-hash or bring it up.
  
• NEVER allow anyone but you and your spouse to spank your child.
  

What I think about spanking is that it should only be a part of your parenting style, if used at all.

Whatever you do, be consistent, loving, and fair.  If you need resources on biblical parenting I strongly recommend Grace Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel.

Please note that there is research about spanking that is more science-based (as opposed to faith-based).  I've not discussed that and will leave doing that research up to you.

Days of Play: Paper Mache Pumpkins {Repost}

I posted this craft last year but I loved it so much and the end product was so cute that I'm posting it again this year.  And I'm doing it again this year too!

I saw this craft on a blog and fell in love.  

Photo from Hillside Home

I mean, aren't these the cutest fall craft pumpkins you've ever seen?

You know what I like even better?  You could totally make these with kids of any ages.

Okay, you probably won't want to let your one year old play with the glue but your wee one could rip the paper for you. 

Anyhow, if you want the down-n-dirty on how to create this delight"fall" little pumpkin family with the little pumpkins in your family, follow this link.  Enjoy!

Here are some photos of our pumpkins!  We went with a retro-look in our paper color/selection.  It took M.E. and I about forty minutes to make three pumpkins.

Before

During

After

P.S.  For the glue mixture I used equal parts of Elmer's glue and warm water.

Music Monday: Rise Against

Today I am defending my competency exams, a very important step to take towards that ominous dissertation work.  If I pass, I start my research.  If I fail, it's back to the drawing board for more work.

Anyhow, I love all kinds of music including punk.  Rise Against is hardcore punk and they are really socially aware (which means they are PETA loving vegans/vegetarians who aren't opposed to acknowledging systemic problems).

I love these guys and today as I defend, Make It Stop is my inspiration.  If I pass, may the work I do help to make it stop.  And if I fail, may I keep fighting the fight to make it stop.

Make It Stop



Swing Life Away (because hardcore punk can be romantic)



Rumors of My Demise Have Been Greatly Exaggerated (explicit)

A sad fan video with lyrics. {Sigh}

Fashion Friday: Mustard

TASTELESS JOKE ALERT!


One day Ms. Lewinski went to her favorite cleaners. She said to the owner, "I have another dress for you to clean".

Being hard of hearing, he replied, "Come again?"

"No", Lewinsky said, "Mustard!"



Oh dear.  Sorry about that.  There are just so few times in life when it's appropriate to tell a mustard joke.

Remember how I told you that teal was going to be a hot color this fall?  Well so is mustard.  No, not yellow--mustard.  Deep, bold, rich mustard.  Now, if only the color had a cooler name than mustard.  {Sigh}

Pick a small piece--tights, a bag, earrings or go bold with a big piece--cardigan or dress.  Whatever you decide ... rock it!

Mustard and Teal

Source: scribbleandtone.blogspot.com via Reagan on Pinterest

Mustard Cardi takes a summer dress to fall

Source: polyvore.com via Reagan on Pinterest

Mustard Tights--OBVIOUSLY!

Source: dee-construction.blogspot.com via Reagan on Pinterest

{Fall} Things I Love: Gourmet Hot Cocoas

It's fall.

YAY it's fall!

Have I mentioned that I might be a little bit crazy in love with fall?

Every fall I like to share what I love about fall.  Last year's list included: my electric tea pot, chai, geese, healthy pumpkin muffins ...

First up this year .... drumroll (but not really because you read it in the title) ....

GOURMET HOT COCOAS

Mmmm... hot drinks.  So good for the psyche.  Maybe not so good for the hips but I'm content to pretend these recipes have all the calories psychologically removed if you are.  Deal?

Whether it's Land o Lakes mini hot chocolate packets or my own hot chocolate recipe, I'm a sucker for a good cup of cocoa.  But every now and then I want gourmet cocoa.  Not just hot chocolate.  Not just chocolate with a dash of mint.

Real. Gourmet. Cocoa.

The kind you have to make on the stove top with more than two ingredients.  The kind that makes your mouth fill with drool over the delectable scent of spices being stirred together.

So this year I'm going to make these on a cool, cloudy, play jazz and sit on the couch kind of fall day!

Pumpkin Spiced White Hot Chocolate.

This recipe is from the Frontier Kitchen.  Please go there for directions.  STAT!

Click this link to go to FK and get the recipe (and to see where I stole the photo from)

Okay, now this second recipe is from Good Life Eats. It's for a Vanilla Salted Caramel Hot Cocoa.

This photo belongs to Good Life Eats.  

Gourmet. Hot. Cocoa.  Mmmmmm

What I Think About: Advice for New Moms

This us actually a repost from the early days of WITHMIM?

A lot of my friends (and by a lot I mean my 3 closest friends) are either with child or with newborn {side note--storks still unwelcome at my house}.  Luckily these gals are seasoned pros.  But some other friends have who are first time moms asked my advice on how I mother.

Here's what I know: I have a lot I still need to know.

But here's what I know about mothering:

Welcome to the roller coaster! This truly is the toughest job you'll ever love. Being a mom is a glorious burden.

When I became a mom I was sucked into reading EVERY book on parenting, spending precious moments on the computer trying to find answers to every question, crying while my child was crying, fighting with my husband (and our moms) about the "right" thing to do, and refusing to believe I had anything to offer my child.

I learned a lot between my first and second child. By the time I had Pax, I had 2 books I casually referred to but I can't pin-point exactly where they are and I do not have any sections memorized. I made it clear I am NOT parenting by committee. If I want your advice, I'll ask. I learned there is no ONE WAY to do anything. ANYTHING. I realized NO ONE will know my child they way my husband and I do and therefore, I have everything to offer my children.

So, here is some casual advice. I am NOT a doctor or a professional. All this non-sense is my advice but let me remind you that the best advice ever given is that you don't have to take it!

~Read with a critical eye

A lot of books assert that there is one way to do things. And amazingly, the ways are generally polar opposites. Some will say if you don't breast feed or sleep with your child, he or she will be ruined and never will trust you. On the other hand, you'll hear that your kids won't get enough vitamin D if you breast feed and your baby will never move out of your bed if you sleep with him/her. The truth is somewhere in the middle and totally based on your feelings, perspectives, and beliefs. Read with a critical eye. There is good info out there but use what works for you and ignore what doesn't.

~Refuse to believe that there is a "natural" way to parent.

I exclusively breast fed Pax but M.E. had a bottle once a day. I babywear but do not sleep with my kids. Even though you'll read (mostly by Dr. Sears who I like) that breast feeding, co-sleeping, and babywearing are the most natural ways to parent, don't believe it. What is natural is doing what works for you and your family. Anything to the contrary is unnatural.

~Be aware that your relationship with your mom and mother-in-law (MIL) may change

The general rule is that if you had a good relationship with your moms before, it might be strained after because they'll be TOO open with advice, telling you what you are doing wrong,etc. On the other hand, if your relationship is strained before it might get better after because you'll both agree that your baby is the cutest and most lovable baby ever. My MIL was totally offended that I didn't go to her for advice and even more offended that I didn't do things her way. It seemed more natural for me to seek advice from friends who had more recently had children or to do things the way my mom did them. Communication is key.  My MIL and I weathered this storm.  She's a great mom to me!

~Place healthy boundaries

Put boundaries in place BEFORE issues become a problem. We wish we would have done this! For some reason, our parents assumed we would parent by committee and whenever an issue came up thought we'd take a democratic vote. When we didn't do this, it hurt a lot of feelings. When we sat our parents down and explained that we thought they were good parents and we loved them BUT we were going to do things differently, obviously since we were raised differently, it helped. Now when we say, "Pax goes to bed at 6," we don't get, "we never put you to bed that early!" Instead we hear, "OK." Even if they disagree, we've made it clear that we are M.E. and Pax's parents, their Biblical authority and what we say goes.

~Put your baby to bed within 2 hours of waking

As soon as your new baby starts showing sleepy cues (generally within 2 hours of waking but often sooner), put him or her to bed. You can rock to sleep, nap with baby, or lay baby down and walk away. Whatever manner you choose, get baby to nap before he or she is overtired.

~Put baby to bed EARLY

M.E. was an awful early sleeper. She barely napped from 2 weeks to about 5 months. And at 5 months she still hadn't slept through the night. We'd put her to bed at 10 and she'd be up and 1, 4, 6 and up for the day by 7:30. When we read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child we thought the guy was a nut. But by 5 months we were desperate. The first night we put M.E. to bed at 5:45 she screamed for about 15 minutes, fell asleep, and slept until 7:30 am. She's gone to bed early ever since. We've had times when it didn't work perfectly and times when she still fought us on sleep but overall, the child sleeps like a champ! At four M.E. is in bed by 7:30 pm at the latest and sleeps until 7:30-8 am. Pax (nearly 8 mo) is in bed by 5:45 and sleeps until 7ish. Not only does the early bed time seem to help kids sleep better, it provides Matt and I a time to chat, relax, enjoy one another, and do personal projects we enjoy.

~Give your child the grace to be who s/he is

Let your child wear whatever clothes he/she wants--s/he'll learn to coordinate, or not. Let your child eat dirt and fall down. There are some absolute NOs at our house (anything that is sin) but everything else is an OK. If the worst thing that happens is our daughter wears a princess dress to church and Pax bleaches his hair, I'll be cool with that!

~Determine your discipline system and be consistent

You might use corporal punishment; you might not. If you do, make sure you are doing it in a Biblical manner (hitting out of anger and wrath is NOT Biblical). If spanking makes you uncomfortable, learn appropriate and successful ways to discipline. But most importantly, make sure you and your spouse are on the same page and be consistent. Side note, this is one of those areas where grandparents get NO say.

~Watch your mouth and actions

Your kids are watching you. Use your words and actions to breath life into their lives.

~Turn the TV off

I know those movies seem educational but studies show TV before 2 is bad for children and lots of those "educational movie" companies are being sued for not coming through. A little TV once in a while is OK but not every day and never more than 1/2 hour. Some other things you can do: read, books on tape/cd, listen to music ...

~Get toys that encourage imagination

Books that read to you, trucks that make all the sounds, Princess dresses and crowns, Barbie soda fountains--with today's toys there is really little need for creativity. But your kids need a chance to be creative. So, get them blocks, and boxes, and paints with white paper, and old funny clothes so they can imagine and create!

~Spend time away from your children

You'll be a better parent and woman if you spend some time alone doing what you love. Reading, exercising, cooking--whatever it is, carve out at least 20 minutes a day and do it!

~Trust your spouse and give him room

He might not do it your way, or the best way, but allow your husband time to have the kids alone and let him find his way. He's new too so cut him some slack. If you don't let him have alone time with the kids or if you nag that he doesn't do it "right" then don't be shocked when he stops helping.

~Advocate for yourself

If your spouse won't help and you are at a breaking point, call a friend, family member or sitter and take a break. When you're calm, explain to your husband that you need a break. If this doesn't work, consider counseling.

~PLAY

Spend time offering multiple opportunities for your child to play. Play with him or her. Let him or her play with other kids. Don't underestimate the value of allowing him or her to play alone. For 2 days make a tick mark every time you tell your child "not now". If it is a lot, it is time to re-prioritize. They won't want to play with you forever so engage them now. Cook, read, dance, sing, stack, walk, play in sand and dirt and mud, bounce, ride ...

~Repeat this as needed

It's only a phase. If it's good it's a phase; if it's bad it's a phase. It's only a phase.

~Retain the right NOT to take advice

Mine, your mom's, his mom's, your friend's, Dr. Sear's, Dr. Weisbluth's, your baby's ped's ... You are the only living expert on your child--scary.  True.

Your turn--What advice do YOU have for new moms?

Thanks to Shell at Things I Can't Say for letting my Pour My Heart Out every Wednesday!

Days of Play: Leaf Prints

I'm so glad it's fall.  Please tell me I'm not the only one who gets all gushy and emotional over trees turning orange, cozy sweaters, honking geese, and a perfectly good excuse to drink cider and cocoa all day long.

YAY for fall!

Right about now our foliage is turning and a few bold trees are letting their leaves down and bearing their nakedness {already}.  Leaves are falling.

If a leaf is going to fall I feel like it should be celebrated with art.

What do I have in mind?  Well, how about some bright leaf print art?

I found this little artsy fartsy project at Kleas

For this project you'll need white or brown butcher paper, a pie tin or 8x8 pan, and some of those brightly colored cheap acrylic paints you can get at big box stores.

1.  In the pan lays down several bright colors.

Photo from Kleas

2.  Dip the leaves in the pan and press onto the paper.

3.  Pull leaf off and wa-la ... some pretty amazing and easy fall art.

Kleas is brilliant.  This photo belongs to Kleas.

Music Monday: Goin' Country

Insert a loud, audible gasp here because I'm highlighting some country songs today.

Have I mentioned I don't just love country?  Where I grew up we had one radio station and it played country music 24/7.  I know my country music.  I can sing along to George Straight and Pam Tillis but I simply prefer not to.

However, I recently heard these song and decided to buy them on iTunes.  Judge me all you want but keep the verdict to yourself :)

The Band Perry



Lady Antebellum



Seether
(Okay, this is NOT a country song but it is called Country Song and is super fun. I love the video so give it a listen)

Date Night In: "Fall" In Love

I love fall.

I also love my husband.

Something deep inside me tells me I should combine the two.

Photo Source

For this "Fall" in love date, keep it simple.  A cool picnic, hot drinks, warm blankets, and reminiscing about when you fell in love.

Start by simply writing a short note to your husband inviting him on a home date.  In the note, tell him something that made you fall in love with him.

For the date, start with laying out sweaters and mittens for you both (if you have kids, include them).  Take your husband to an outdoor place (like your backyard) and have a chilly picnic.  Serve chili, corn bread, carrot sticks, and hot cocoa.  Over dinner talk about what you love about fall.  Listen for geese, read nature poems, or collect leaves.  Perhaps go for a hand-in-hand stroll. Make analogies of fall to love.  Notice, for instance, how the breeze makes tree branches sway like they are dancing lovers or remark on how the leaves fall to the ground, content to let go of the past.

Photo Source

When it gets dark or too cold, head inside.  Team up and give the kids a bath and put them to bed.  Encourage your spouse to go relax in your bedroom while you set up.

Start a fire or set the mood by dimming lights and lighting candles.  Turn on slow music--like Frank Sinatra or smooth jazz.  Make a cushy sitting spot with warm blankets and pillows.  Get some "fall" snacks/drinks (Frontier Kitchen's apple crisp, caramel apples, hot apple cider, etc.).

Photo Source

Get your husband and snuggle.  As you snuggle reminisce over how you fell in love.  Where did you meet?  What do you remember wearing?  Where was your first date?  Your first kiss? When did you KNOW you were in love?  When did you first say you were in love?  What did you like best about your each other when you were dating?  What do you like best about each other after all this time of marriage? What makes you "fall" in love with your spouse every day? What is your favorite memory from dating? From being a newlywed? From this last year of marriage?

Things I Love: A quick cleaning tool

Here's a gripe.

I can't stand Swiffers.  I don't like Swiffer Sweepers.  I don't like the little Swiffer duster thingy.  I just don't like Swiffer stuff.

Here's why: They do the exact same thing a can of Pledge, a rag, and a mop with water can do BUT they produce so much more landfill waste.  They drive me crazy.

But I have a problem and he is 2.  This two year old regularly makes my wood floors look like a sticky tie-dye shirt.  Don't laugh; it's true.  By lunch time it's not uncommon to have yogurt, mandarin orange juice, granulated Jell-O (don't ask), and pet hair gobbed onto my floor.

So I lug out the bucket and the water and mop.  Not a great process to do a couple of times a day but I don't want to take the less-green Swiffer short cut.  So I don't.

When I was staying with my sister she introduced me to the Rubbermaid Reveal {swoon}.  It's a green version of a Swiffer.  Put a little white vinegar and water in the dispenser, squirt, and run the mop head over the goo.  Goo gone.  YAY!

Even better, when the mop head gets icky, simply throw it in the laundry.  No more landfill fill!

Now I won't lie, this sucker isn't good for deep cleaning. You are still going to need to actually mop or do a hands-n-knees floor scrubbing every now and then BUT with the Rubbermaid Reveal, there's no need to break out the mop 2 times a day.  Winning!

What I Think About: Forgiving Yourself

Watch this video. Read the lyrics.



Have you ever just messed up?  I mean ROYALLY messed up?  The kind of messed up that will bring you to tears in thirty years when you think about it?  The kind of messed up that makes you seriously contemplate enrolling in science courses in hopes of inventing a time machine?  The kind of messed up that hurt someone? The kind of messed up that leaves you feeling totally broken?

I really messed up.  When I called my sister to confess she loved and supported me.  She said, "There is nothing you can do that can make me not love you.  Of course, I'm related by blood so that covers it."

To which I replied the most faithless words I've ever spoken: "Blood doesn't cover everything."

The second I said it I audibly gasped.  I was horrified that I said it.  I was more horrified that in many ways, I believed it about myself.  Deep inside of me an aching mistake made me believe that there are some sins that blood doesn't cover.

I know this is NOT true but have you ever stood in that place where you just FELT that it was true?  That you were standing in a shadow that the Son couldn't redeem.

If you have been there, tell me how and when do you forgive yourself?  I mean, forgiveness (even self-forgiveness) is key to grace and mercy.  But is there a time period where you should "feel" the effects of your sin?  How long should you mourn your actions before you seek to forgive them?  Off the cuff it feels like the answer is "you shouldn't drag yourself through the mud" but right now it just feels like the person I've hurt deserves to see me struggle and mourn over my wrongdoing.  Not because such lamentations will change the deed but because it will help that person know that I really feel the affects of my actions.  That I feel the pain.  That I am sorry.  Gut-wrenchingly sorry.

So when do you forgive yourself?

And of course the bigger issues is how?

I know I will never forget this incident.  I will play and re-play it in some small fashion (even if it is just a, "how could I be so stupid?!) several times a year.  How can I use this circumstance to remind me of all the ways that I need Jesus without consistently asking, begging, pleading for mercies I've already been given?  How can I use this to spur me on in a way that makes me a better person but helps the one I've hurt know that I haven't just forgotten and moved on?

Where is the balance between the burden of regret over sins committed and the mercy of peace from blood that cleanses?

What I think is that I need to learn to forgive myself.  Your wisdom is greatly appreciated.  Your prayers more so.

Thank you to Shell for letting me Pour My Heart Out every Wednesday

Days of Play: Pour Painting

Have I mentioned that I love Pinterest?  Well I do.  Here's another craft idea I found from stalking other people's boards.

Pour Painting.

Photo from Housing a Forest

This is such a fast and unique art project.  To make this you will need a drop cloth, old plastic table cloth, newspapers ... do you get what I'm not saying here?  It's gonna be a fun mess.  Prepare.

You'll also need some cheap paint (bright house paint?) and matting board (DO NOT use regular paper here).

To make this you essentially have your kids lay down drops of color on the matting.  Then pick up the matting and move it this way and that until the desired movement of art is complete.  Let dry at least over night.

For more details and photo instructions, head to Housing A Forest <---Yes, that's a link you can click

Have some messy fun painting with your kiddos!

Music Monday: Foster The People

Two words for you.

Indie.

Pop.

I love Foster the People, an American Indie pop band.  They have these songs that remind me of summer.  And recently I've heard radio stations in my area playing this song:

Pumped Up Kicks



And Helena Beat is also pretty awesome (I can't say the same thing about the video!)

Fall Colors: TEAL

Every season seems to have a few "hot" colors.  This fall I'm so happy teal is among them.  I kinda LOVE jewel toned colors and teal is my favorite. Maybe I'm channeling the early 90s.  I can't be sure.

Anyhoo, for fall, add a tiny splash of teal to your wardrobe with a cute bag, functional scarf, bold top, or statement jewelry piece.

Teal with mustard

Shortsleeve Tops by Bailey 44
Satchels by Coccinelle

Teal with neutrals

Cardigans by Old Navy
Boots by Ciao Bella

Teal accessories (because small pops of color make a BIG statement)

Pumps by Wild Diva
Satchels by Merona

Things I Love: Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks

I am not a coffee drinker though I will admit to having more than my fair share of coffee during my mom's whole ordeal.  A girl's gotta stay awake, after all.

There is a caveat to this rule.

Pumpkin. Spice. Latte.

That's right.  The time of year when Starbucks rolls out that pumpkin flavor and offers 380 calorie hot drinks I go nuts.  I love them.  Love love lovey love 'em.  Some days when I know I'm going to get one, I like to wear an outfit that naturally looks good with my hot drink.

I'm considering counseling for this.

Oh, you thought I was kidding. Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt.

So, hey--go get a pumpkin spice latte and maybe pray for me :)

What I Think About: When People Say Stupid Stuff

Guess what?

On Facebook I have no filter.  I say exactly what I want to say when I want to say it.  I know, I know.  You're shocked.  Or maybe not.

Anyhow, on Saturday I'm texting with my old college roomie Ami, the one I had the traumatic coffee ice cream making experience with, and we were chatting about the stupid things people say when you are grieving.

You've heard it.

"It's part of God's plan."

"It must be God's will."

"Everything happens for a reason."

"She's in a better place now."

"Let go and let God."

I've heard it.  A lot actually. Because when you are grieving people want to help but don't know how.  So they say something trite and you are supposed to smile and agree when what you really want them to know is that comment just cut you to your freaking core and they've just heaped more pain and burden onto your shoulders than you know how to bear.

So I posted this on facebook:

Life Lesson #122: If you can't support someone who is grieving without talking about "God's will/plan," "God's timing,"  or "Let go and let God" then you shouldn't say ANYTHING.  It's true that people who mean well don't verbalize well.  It's equally true that people who are mourning aren't inspired by your trite responses.  Be wise; be quiet.

To be honest I expected a bit of backlash but you know what I got?  SUPPORT.  A ton of it!  Everyone around me who has experienced loss knew EXACTLY where I was coming from.  It wasn't just me struggling in faith--it was fellow Christians.  A pastor.  People every where saying that in loss it's okay to be hurt.  It's okay to question.  It's okay to want that person on earth and not in heaven.

Funny how one crazy Facebook status can let you know that people really do understand.

As I reflect on what has meant the most to me during this time of loss I know it is the friends who don't treat me differently--who let me talk when I want but don't force the issue.  It's been the meals and childcare.  But the single thing that touched me the most was the beautiful card my friend Carla gave me.  It was blank inside.  She had no words for me.  And that blank card brought me more comfort than she might ever know.

What I think is that when someone is hurting and you want to help, be quiet.  Offer a hand to hold.  A shoulder to cry on.  A meal.  A blank card.  But whatever you do, be quiet.  It'll speak volumes.

Thanks, Shell for letting me Pour My Heart out with you!

Days of Play: Mod Podge Hand Trees

Things I'm obsessed with:
1.  Mod Podge
2.  Fall
3.  Artwork
4.  Handprints.

Things I love?

THIS activity because it combines the aforementioned 4 obsessions.  YAY!

I found this activity on pinterest and then went to the blog At Second Street for directions because it was, well, love at first sight.

Photo from At Second Street

Yes that's right.  Those are handprint trees made from fabric.

In general this will take a bit more time than the normal "days of play" activities I post.  BUT it will be a life-long heirloom documenting the size of your children's hands.  And it's art.  And it's beautiful.  And you get to play with Mod Podge.

Convinced?  Click a blue link.  Go.  Get directions.  Create.  Reminisce.  Make a Christmas gift Grandma's will cry at.

Music Monday: Dashboard Confessional

Okay, so Dashboard Confessional is an American rock band from Florida that I first heard in about 2004 when they did a song for the second Spiderman movie.  A lot of die-hard fans charged the band with selling out for a movie soundtrack (isn't that always the way?) but since I wasn't a long time fan (at that time) I loved them.

And still do.

Every now and then I want a "hard" ballad (a la Guns-n-Roses circa 1992) and this band fits that need.

Vindicated (the Spidey sell out song that started my love affair with the band)



Stolen (a good song if anyone has stolen your heart)

Fashion Friday: Scarf Obsession

As we move into the fall fashion scene, there are lots of changes and lots of stuff not changing.

Changing--Military is out; preppy-chic is in.  Snake print is the new leopard.  Hot colors are teal, orange, and mustard (more on this later).

Staying: fur vests, scarves, boots, and bold color.

I for one LOVE the fall colors and I'm sooooo happy scarves will be staying with us for the season.  Here's how to work a scarf into your causal, go to the farmer's market gear and into a day at work outfit.

Casual Gear with Scarf

Camisoles at Target
Sandals at DSW

Work Day with Scarf

Black Dresses by Ann Taylor
Boots by Urban Outfitters

Printed. Fur. Infinity. Knit. Silk. Scarves are so hot right now (and so versatile so add one or ten to your wardrobe)

Scarves & Wraps at Nordstrom
Scarves & Wraps by ALICE by Temperley

Things I Love: SoundHound

SoundHound is an app for iPhones and Androids that instantly tells you the title and artist of song you are listening to and even the lyrics that match.

Really, you open the app, click "tap here" and the app listens to the song, and then within 30 seconds tells you who the artist is.  It's amazing.  I use it all the time.

I love SoundHound!

What I Think About: Serving and Being Served

I've just read-again-the story of Jesus washing His disciples' feet (John 13:1-17).  I always read this story as a "how to be a good Christian" manifesto.

Serve.  Serve willingly.  Serve humbly.  Serve joyfully.  Serve others as unto the Lord.

Surely this passage demonstrates the hearts of service we are to cultivate.  This morning, however, I thought about this passage from another angle: the disciple being served.

Simon Peter balks at Jesus washing his feet.  He simply can't stand to see Jesus doing the work that society deems to be the work of lowly slaves.

This is me.  I'm Simon Peter.  The reasons for my refusal to let the savior cleanse me are multi-faceted.
I don't want him to see how dirty my feet are.  I don't what him to touch my filth.  I am ashamed I've not kept my feet cleaner.  I'm afraid he'll be disgusted.  Angry.  Unable or unwilling to clean me.

And maybe it is more than that.  Maybe I'm too proud to admit I need my feet cleaned.  Maybe I like the dirt and wear it as a badge.  Maybe I believe that I won't be as happy or fulfilled if I am clean.  Maybe I'm simply too stubborn and too hard-hearted to let him serve me.

I'm that girl--always willing to help but never willing to accept help even when I really need it. Always scolding others for not reaching out but never reaching out.  Saying "things are going well" and "I'm okay" and "I've got it taken care of" when my world is falling apart and I am breaking into a million pieces and everything is in chaos.

I won't accept the service.  I won't accept the help.  I'll say, "no thank you.  I'll clean my feet myself" to my friends, my family, and my God.

Why is it so hard to simply be real and to admit that I'm not okay and things aren't okay and I need someone to care for me--to refresh my tired soles (soul)?  I get so caught up in the wash, wash, wash, serve, serve, serve mentality that I've totally missed it.

There is a blessing that comes along with allowing yourself to be vulnerable and with allowing yourself to BE served.  It is humbling to be served.  It can be shameful to ask for help but what friend really begrudges such a request?  It is hard to say "this is who I am and this is where I am.  Dirty.  Broken.  A complete mess!"  And yet Jesus accepts that--prefers it even to our facades.

How much more would the Kingdom advance if we got past the feel good service level tot he messy, ugly, shredded "please help me because I can't do this alone" level?

We are the body.  It is a beautiful thing letting willing hands tend tired feet for when both are properly used and refreshed, we are more able to fulfill the calling.

It's about serving--this faith. This life.

But it's about being real and humbling ourselves enough to be served.

Days of Play: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

As a mom I assume you've read this book. If not, head to Amazon and get it immediately; it's so much fun!

Photo from Amazon

Today, sit down with your kiddos and read this silly book and then do a few "Mouse" inspired activities.

First of all, make chocolate chip cookies.  YUM!

Then sing "who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?"

Finally, play a game of "hot cookie"--like hot potato but with a cookie.

Simple, silly fun for everyone.  Plus, did I mention you get to make and eat cookies?  Winning!

Music Monday--The Ineloquent

They haven't heard of you either.

The Ineloquent is a Christian band formed by a husband and wife in Iowa. They have since relocated to Denver (can you tell I love Denver bands?).  Their sound is unique--inspiring.  I listen to them when I need to both chill out and be re-invigorated.

Here's a little promo video introducing the band.



Give 'em a listen and then head to Facebook and "like" 'em, follow them on Twitter, or make a new Pandora station based off of the "Ineloquent" because even though you might not have heard of them, and they have not heard of you, lots of people are digging their sound.

The Question



My Heart Still Wears Your Name

What I Think About: Waterproof Mascara

Yesterday I woke at 5:30 and started my routine of getting ready for work.

I washed my face, applied moisturizer, foundation, eyeliner, eyeshadow, blush ... I reached into my makeup bag for the last step in war paint application: mascara.  I grabbed the purple tube of mascara, unscrewed the lid and had the wand centimeters from my eyelashes when I realized what I was doing.

This wasn't waterproof mascara.  This was REAL mascara--the kind that would run down my face and make me look like Alice Cooper if my eyes so much as even thought about getting teary.

It hit me.  My mom is gone and I am broken and no matter how much I'd like to be strong and carry on, I'm just not there yet.  It has only been a week and I feel like it should be getting easier but somehow it's more suffocating, this sorrow.  I know no one expects me to pretend that everything is okay but no one exactly wants to be around someone perpetually blue, either.

I look at the mascara wand and I'm utterly in shock.  Will I need a reminder every morning that something is missing--that a part of me is missing?  Will it ever get easier?  Am I doomed to never again use this purple tube of mascara?

Sighing I put the wand back in the tube and tucked the mascara away for another day.  A day when I can think of her without my eyes welling with tears.  A day when I'm with people who are safe to cry in front of--who don't care if I cry so hard I look like a member of Kiss or that my nose runs profusely.

Today is not that day.  I pull out the orange tube of waterproof mascara and apply the thick goop to my eyes.  Now I can cry silently.  Alone.  And people won't know unless they know me too well or look too closely.

Waterproof mascara: a reminder that no matter how surrounded by love and support I am--I simply can't share the burden of this loss with anyone.

Music Monday: Mazzy Star

Mazzy Star is the late 80's early 90's alternative band from California known for haunting melodies and pierce your heart lyrics.

Overall they haven't achieved world-wide success but darn it, I just love them.

They are most famous for their song Fade Into You (which sounds precisely like the kind of song made for long kisses on cloudy days).

Give her a listen:



I also love 5 String Serenade

Things I Love: All Things Gummy

Confession: I totally love ANYTHING Gummy.

Gummy Bears.

                              Sour Straws.

                                                          Peachy Rings.

                                                                                                Hot Tamales.

If it's gummy, I love it.  Except for gum, which is odd.  I mean I like gum but I don't love gum.  Phew.  Sorry for that.

If you don't already think I'm nuts then I'll confess to one more thing.  I like to bite the heads off gummy bears and put them on another gummy body.  See that picture.  Imagine I bite the orange bear's head off and put it on the green bear's body.  Lovely mental image, isn't it?

I'm going to stop now you know, before you unfriend me and get a restraining order.