Days of Play: Indoor Camping

Take a few chairs and drape a blanket over them to make a tent.

Lay a blanket on the floor to camp on.

Read books, eat a snack, sing campfire songs, and snuggle in your tent.

For Older Children:
I suggest making indoor s'mores with your kiddos.  You can make them in the microwave OR toast the marshmallows over a candle (put them on a skewer first!).  And of course provide supervision!

Things I Love--Mary Kay Make-Up

Don't worry--I'm not trying to sell you anything and you are not being invited to a party.

I just have to say that I have not always had the best skin.  And to cover up for my imperfections I've tried various brands of make-up and facial cleansers--Neutrogena, Oil of Olay, Swiss Ivy, Sephora, Clinique ... the list goes on and on.  I figure that if I could have back all the money I've spent on dermatologists and products in the name of getting vibrant healthy skin, I'd probably be able to afford to take Matt on a little romantic getaway to Cozumel (any excuse to dive and see his pecs!).  

A few years ago a friend suggested I try Mary Kay.  I'd always thought it was a gimmick but decided to at least try it when she offered me product at wholesale pricing.  I started with the Miracle Set plus some acne treatment gel. All I can say is HALLELUJAH!  My skin tone is even, my skin looks bright, and I rarely get adult zits (fewer than 3 a year--down from 3 a month!).  Don't even get me started on the fact that I'm not even in the early stages of crow's feet!

Now my vanity drawer looks like a Mary Kay saleswoman vomited pink and black product everywhere.  I use the foundation, the eyeshadow, the lipgloss, the microdermabrasion ... and I love it all.  

If you have skin product you love then you can relate to how great I feel when I put on my Mary Kay.  

My routine:

• Wash with the 3-in-1 face wash.
  
• Put 1/4 inch of acne treatment gel on my pointer finger.  Rub together and slather all over my face (I only do this once a day.  If you have bad acne or super oily skin you can do it morning and night).
  
• Put on Day or Night Serum.
  
• Mix dab of face lotion with dab of liquid foundation (morning only) and rub into skin.
  

Spy School #6

Spy School #6

In this challenge you will have your husband pick out outfits for you both AFTER he has learned the latest trends.  Without shopping, he will create 2 up-to-date outfits for you and he to wear.  Reward him by wearing his outfit out to dinner, to brunch, or for a nice in-home date (check out my other date ideas for an in-home date).

You may need to provide him with resources such as Vogue magazine, links to What Not To Wear, etc.

Text or e-mail your hubby the following challenge:

The Challenge 

Bond is a man of fashion.  From his chic swim-trunks to his expensive tuxes, the man can dress!  This challenge, should you choose to accept it, will open your eyes to the world of fashion. 

Your challenge:

1. Peruse magazines, online sites, etc., and find tips on current MEN and WOMEN’S fashion trends.
   
2. Without spending a dime, “shop” in our closets and create an outfit for me to wear and for you to wear.  Dressy?  Sexy? Causal fun?  It’s up to you.  But be prepared to explain what you picked and why you picked it.
   
3. We will celebrate your trendy taste by wearing our outfits on a date.
   

Wednesday--What I think about SPANKING

To Spank or Not to Spank?  What a Scary Question

Spanking is a pretty hot topic and I was asked to share my thoughts on the subject by a few moms in North Carolina.   What I put here, of course, is my opinion only and should not be a substitute for prayer and research on your part. 

Let me start by announcing boldly that I am not drawing a line in the sand.  I am not saying it is good or bad to spank.  I’ll probably get hate mail for my refusal to be black or white but you should know that grey is my favorite color and my favorite place to be.

So, here are random ramblings related to spanking.

First and foremost, I know that the AAP, Dr. Phil, and Super Nanny are against spanking. Those experts are speaking to a large demographic and given the prevalence of child abuse, not endorsing corporal punishment makes sense. But I also know that these experts are not your child’s parents and they may not have your belief system.

Biblical References

Corporal punishment is mentioned in the Bible.  Here are some verses to reference:

He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him (Proverbs 13:24).

Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him (Proverbs 22:15).

Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die (Proverbs 23:13).

The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother (Proverbs 29:15)

My Thoughts on These Verses

First, shepherds used rods to guide and direct their sheep.  At times the crook was put around a sheep’s neck to get it out of crags. Other times it was used physically to direct sheep.  The rod is used metaphorically and it is stated, “your rod and your staff comfort me.” Please note that while “rod” can mean corporal punishment, it can also mean guidance. 

In Proverbs 13:24, parents who love their children are “careful” to discipline them.  Think about the word “careful.”  It means intentionally exercising caution.  In my opinion, if you yell or strike out at a child in a fit of wrath and anger, you are not carefully disciplining.     

Proverbs 22:15 talks about disciplining a foolish child.  I caution you to be aware of the difference between rashly acting or being foolish versus being childish.  Your child will do things that will make you angry that are childish, not foolish.  Spilling milk is childish, not foolish.  Do not discipline your child for being childish—correct them.  Guide them.

Proverbs 23:13 and 29:15 encourage parents not to shy away from guiding and disciplining their children.  You are your child’s biblical authority.  Be their loving authority and advocate. You are responsible to train your child, which might include corporal punishment but also means more than spanking.

Given these verses, I do think that corporal punishment is biblically founded and may be useful when used correctly.  When done incorrectly, spanking can cause humiliation, anger, and bitterness in the heart of your child. It can harm children emotionally and physically, and is child abuse.

Spanking is not prohibited and may be encouraged.  However, you must remember that "everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial" (1 Cor 10:23).  There are biblical guidelines on how to discipline a child correctly. If you are not willing to put time and effort into praying and researching how to correctly discipline your child, please do NOT spank them.

Corporal punishment is a heart issue, not a salvation issue; therefore, I can't tell you that you must or must not do it.  Spanking or not does not make you a good, Christian parent.

What We Do

I went into parenting being 100% opposed to spanking; Matt viewed corporal punishment in a more positive light.  Therefore, we researched and prayed and came up with our parenting style. 

We have spanked our daughter a couple of times in response to severe, repeated disobedience. But more often, we’ve used time-outs, natural consequences, and loving guidance and discussion.

Conclusion

In the end, the decision to use or not use corporal punishment can only be made by you and your husband after a time of prayer and research.

If you choose to use corporal punishment, please read Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp.  This book will instruct you on spanking in a manner that encourages forgiveness and reconciliation. 

Some basic guidelines:

• Never spank in anger or out of wrath.  Corporal punishment is not about vindication, retribution, or emotional release.
  
• Do not spank your child for being childish.  Being disobedient and being childish are very different issues.
  
• Never punish in a manner that embarrasses or humiliates your child.
  
• Have a conversation with your child.  Try to find out why the disobedience happened and explain why the action was not correct.  Don’t lecture; listen.
  
• If the situation requires a spanking, spank your child only on the bottom.  Use one or two swats that sting.  Test on your thigh first.
  
• Show your child that it hurts you to spank them.  Encourage reconciliation and forgiveness.
  
• Pray with your child.
  
• When the event is done, it is done.  Do not re-hash or bring it up.
  
• NEVER allow anyone but you and your spouse to spank your child.
  

Please remember that corporal punishment should only be a part of your parenting style, if used at all.

Whatever you do, be consistent, loving, and fair.  If you need resources on biblical parenting I strongly recommend Grace Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel.

Please note that there is research about spanking that is more science-based (as opposed to faith-based).  I've not discussed that and will leave doing that research up to you, though this link to a comment from a reader offers resources.

Scholastic Book Giveaway

Please go to the In the Know Moms site and register to win 50 children's classics on books and DVDs.  This is an amazing giveaway and only takes a second to leave a comment!

Go here if you are interested.

Days of Play--Musical Chairs

Put a chair in the middle of your living room floor (have 1 chair less than the number of people.  3 people=3 chairs).  Play music and move around the chair.  When the music stops, race for the seat.  Whoever sits wins.  Whoever doesn't loses :(

For Younger Children:
Play music and dance.

For Older Children:
Indicate how children move around the chair.  Walk, skip, grapevine, cluck like chickens, waddle like penguins, etc.

Tuesday's Too Clean Tip

My sister taught me this trick and it is my favorite.

If you have carpet, get a spay bottle and a bottle of Febreeze-scented Downy fabric softener.

Put the fabric softener in the spay bottle and lightly spray all over your carpet areas.  Allow to dry (roughly 10 minutes).

Vacuum.

Enjoy cushy, fluffy carpets that smell delightful.

**Spot test before you spray this everywhere**

Spicy Chicken for 2

When I was pregnant with my daughter I craved Chang's Spicy Chicken.  Unfortunately, I lived too far away from PF Chang's to indulge my cravings.  I found this recipe online and tweaked it to my liking.

Ingredients

2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cubed

2 T. olive oil

Sauce

1 t. minced garlic 

1/4 c. sliced green onion

1 tsp. chili paste

1 oz. chicken broth

1 T. Oyster Sauce

2 t. Sesame Oil

1 oz. vinegar/sugar mixture (1 T white, granulated sugar and the rest rice vinegar)

Directions

1. Fry chicken in olive oil.  Drain and wipe excess oil out of pan and off chicken.
2. Mix the rest of the ingredients in hot pan. 
3. Add chicken--sauce should cling to it.

We eat this over brown rice or undon noodles.  If you like a lot of sauce then double the sauce ingredients. 

What cookin' at my house this week?

 I LOVE meal planning!There is something refreshing about not worry about what to have for dinner.

Kaufman Menu

• Monday--Baked Rotini (I'm not a fan of casseroles but this easy dish is necessary since I have class on Mondays and DH needs to feed the kids and himself after a long day at work).
  
• Tuesday--Rueben Soup
  
• Wednesday--Cranberry Chicken and Rice
  
• Thursday--Beef Enchiladas in white sauce
  
• Friday--Sliced sesame chicken on spring greens with Asian dressing
  

Days of Play--Indoor Snowball Fight

Go through your recycle bin and crunch up paper in to a ball.  Hide behind couches and ambush one another with "snowballs".  End the fun with a cup of hot cocoa!


For younger children
Allow your child to play with and crinkle the paper.  It is wonderfully tactile!  Be care that your little one doesn't eat the paper!

Jean Shopping...Ick!

I have several pairs of jeans but only one doesn't have a hole in it somewhere (and regrettably these are junior-sized, boot cut, distressed LEIs) .  My favorite jeans, the ones I bought when Matt and I were engaged but I strive to fit into post-baby, have so many holes that I'm starting to think they are more patches than jeans.

Anyhow, I have to go jean shopping which in my mind is the equivalent of running my self-confidence through a food processor and then straining the mush to pick out seeds of self-respect that are then dumped down the sink.  And this is only when I try on the first pair of jeans!

Before I go, I watched Stacy and Clinton.  I love them!  If you are in the market for a new pair of jeans, click the link and watch this video; it might help you, too.  In the mean time, wish me luck!

http://tlc.discovery.com/videos/what-not-to-wear-how-to-find-the-perfect-pair-of-jeans.html

What I think about: Edward Who?

I’ve already made it known that I liked the Twilight series.  They are fairly well written love stories coming out of the “sex is power” wakes of Sex in the City and Friends.  As a former middle school teacher I must admit I was grateful there was finally a pro-abstinence, pro-self-control, anti-clique and mean girl option for young ladies.   However, I am not blind to the negative aspects of the book.  The story isn’t pro-abstinence on moral grounds but rather because Edward doesn’t want to kill Bella.  And one must question Bella’s motives that she’d die for her parents but won’t tell them the truth.  In the end, though, I feel like if this book series is tempered with discussion and logic, it is safe enough to read.

Where I get really nervous about the Twilight series is the female reaction to Edward and Jacob.  There has been mass hysteria surrounding the characters and I’m not talking about tweens swooning over shirtless Jacob (though that does bother me). 

What really bothers me are TwiMoms who lament that their relationships with their husbands are not equal to (depending on your team) Bella/Edward or Bella/Jacob.  The danger with love stories for women is that they have the capability to enhance our expectations in a negative way. 

Please know that we should expect great treatment from our husbands; our husbands are to love us with the same sacrificial love Christ demonstrated to the Church—no easy task!   While we must have high standards from our husbands, we should not expect them to be perfect, to be our “all in all” or equal to fictional characters. 

My assertion: If you don’t want your husband to impose stripper-pole, porn-star expectations on you, please don’t force your Edward/Jacob expectations on him.

When I finished the series, I was so grateful for my husband and our intimate relationship.  I even made him a shirt that says, “EDWARD WHO?” to remind him that he, not a fictional character, is worthy of my love and affection.  Here are some reasons my relationship with Matt is better than Bella’s relationships with Edward/Jacob.

• ·      Matt is my best friend AND lover.  I’m not torn.  He wins.  Period.
• ·      Unlike Edward, Matt listens to me when I backseat drive.  He wears his seatbelt and does roughly four miles over the speed limit.
• ·      When Matt and I have differences, we talk them over.  No one leaves (like Edward) or ignores the other (like Jacob). 
• ·      As adults we’ve discussed what would happen in the event of sickness and death. Neither of us feels like we’d commit suicide if the other died (no running to the Volturi for us!).  Though devastated, we’d rely on God to sustain us.
• ·      I speak the truth in love and so does he.  We do not need to be professional liars (Edward) or tricksters (Jacob).  As Matt said in our wedding vows, “I will be worthy of your trust by being trustworthy.” 
• ·      Matt encourages me to hang out with other people, to make new friends, and to have hobbies and interests outside of our marriage and family.  I never have to feel guilty for visiting with friends.  Matt is not controlling (Edward).
• ·      As married adults we can snuggle in bed and engage in sexual activity without sneaking behind our parent’s backs (unlike Bella and Edward). 
• ·      Because we are adults, Matt and I can enjoy thrill seeking without our parents’ permission (unlike Bella and Jacob). 
• ·      We are first and foremost committed to our Christ.  We recognize that though we are God’s perfect provision for each other, only HE can fully satisfy. 
  

 So ladies, if you want a quick and easy read, I’m not opposed to recommending the Twilight Series (though I’d really recommend Redeeming Love, Pride and Prejudice or Peace Like a River more).  When you finish the series, remember that it is fiction and that your husband does not and should not live up to standards set by fictional characters.

Praise your husband for the good he brings out in you and if you want more romance in your marriage, show him how it’s done!

Days of Play--Color Scavenger Hunt

For younger children:

Go into his or her room and talk about color.  Get several items of one color and explore them.  Read a book about colors.

For toddlers:

Go into his or her room and ask him or her to bring you one red item, one blue item, and one yellow item (feel free to mix up the colors here).

For older children:

Make a list of various colors and number of items to be retrieved.  Consider a time limit.

3 pink things, 6 blue things, 1 black thing, 2 orange things, etc.  

**Enrich this game more by using 2 languages.  Find 2 yellow things.  Where is something amarillo?**

BlogFrog Reader Community

Women, Wives, Moms--

The purpose of my blog is to share ideas, advice, humorous stories, and life experiences with other women.  To help fulfill this mission, I've added BlogFrog.  Please join me in an online fellowship of moms.  To join, find the purple link on the left side of my blog.  It takes just a minute to sign in but once you are a member, you can post questions, stories, advice, ideas, etc.

Please take the time to do this so we can make Where is the ME in Mommy? an mutually beneficial site.

Thank you for sharing life with me,
Reagan

Date night In--Movie Game

If you've been to college or know someone who has been to college then I'm sure you are aware of a drinking game where you have to drink every time you use the "taboo" word.  This date night is a alcohol-free take on that game.

What you'll need:
A movie
Snacks--popcorn, something to drink
Bowl
pens
mini-note pad or strips of paper

What to do:
You and your husband will each write silly actions you can do quickly on pieces of paper (kiss my cheek, pick your nose, shake your bum, give me a high five, make a tooting noise with your mouth, tell me you love me, scratch my back, use "fo' shizzle" in a sentence, etc.).  I suggest 10-20 ideas each.

Now pick a frequently used word (but not too frequently used word--avoid "the").  Something like: love, what?, happy, etc.  You might want to think in advance about a word that might be in the movie a lot (if you want a holiday show, for example, you can expect Christmas or happy to be used often).

Turn on the movie and enjoy the show but listen for your word.  Every time you hear your buzz word both you and your date draw a paper out of the bowl and do what it says.  If you run out of papers you can pause and make more OR just finish the movie.

Days of Play--Card Sharks

You'll need:
Small snack (popcorn, peanuts, mini-Goldfish, etc.)
Deck of Cards

For young children:
Let your little ones manipulate the cards.  Try to have cards that feel like plastic so your wee one can munch on them.  It is never too soon to show colors and to count.

For toddlers:
Examine the deck of cards.  Point out the colors, the shapes, the numbers, the faces.  Show your child how you can shuffle (I haven't yet met a 3 year old who wasn't impressed by a bridge shuffle).  Count from 1-10 with the cards and point out that the Ace is 1 and the faces are 10.

To play card sharks, have your child pick a color and a suit (red hearts).  You do likewise with a contrasting color (black spades).  Put the 2 suits together and shuffle.  Take turns flipping over the cards. Every time your child's suit comes up, he or she eats that many snacks (so if the 3 of hearts shows up, your child eats three mini-gold fish).

For older children:
Teach them to shuffle.  If you know a good card trick, show them (and then teach them).  Build a house of cards with them.  Snack while you visit.

Spy School #5

In this challenge you will be encouraging your husband to show off a skill he already has.  Allow yourself to be his student and be open and willing to stretch out of your comfort zone to have him teach you something.  Is it a karate move?  The proper way to shoot a basketball?  How to fire a weapon?

E-mail or text your husband the following (you fill in the date and time--give your husband sufficient time to prepare).

The Challenge
While you are enrolled in the Spy School to learn, there are times when the student becomes the master.  What do you have mastered?  What do you do well?  Find a talent you have and practice teaching it for in one week you will teach your Bond Girl how to do it.   You will need to let your Bond Girl know where to meet you, when, and what to wear by (date, time).

Days of Play--What the animals do

Let's act like animals!

For young children:
Look at books with pictures of animals and encourage animal sounds.

For toddlers:
Have your child act like a frog, a bird, a duck, etc.  Join them in the silliness as you move and talk like the animals do.

For older children:
Have them mime an animal and guess what it is charades style.  (Anyone know how to be a duck-billed platypus?)

Days of Play--Guess Box

You'll need:
Box that has a hand-sized hole in it
small objects
tape to securely close box

For young children:
Enlist even little ones to help find small toys to put in the box.  Let your child put toys in and take them out.  Talk about shape, color and texture as the items go in and out.

For toddlers:
Have your toddler help you find small items to go in the box.  After the box has several items, ask your toddler to reach in and pull out the ___(ball)___.

For older children:
Don't let older kids see what goes into the box. Instead, fill it and give them 3 minutes to feel around in there.  Then, hand them a note pad and give them 5 minutes to write down everything they can remember (or tell you and you can be their scribe if they don't write as fast as they think/talk).

Days of Play--Texture Art

Today you'll need white paper, dark colored crayons, and a hard surface to color on.

For Toddlers

Encourage your child to find flat items in the house or outside (leaves, fabric, coins, keys, etc.).

Put the item under the white paper and rub over it with the crayon until a picture appears.

For Younger children:
You can do the activity but they might be more interested in manipulating the crayon, eating the paper, or exploring the object.

**DO NOT LEAVE CHOKE-SIZED ITEMS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN**

For Older Children:
Try rubbings using more abstract items--walls, shower curtain, drains, cold air return grates, etc.