Friday Fashion: A Trend I Hope Slithers Away Soon

I'm all about animal print.  A little leopard shoe, belt, or scarf can add serious WOW factor to any outfit.  A little zebra says I'm sassy but sophisticated.

This fall, look out for snake print.  It's gonna be the new hot animal print.

I have a confession.

I hate snake print.  

I feel oddly better admitting that.

I think my disdain of this particular pattern stems from a huge fear and loathing of the slithery little guys.  I don't want to wear anything that would make my husband (who is uber scared of snakes) to jump onto the counter screeching like a scared child.

However, we are all different so if you insist on wearing snake print the same rules for other animal prints follow.

1.  If your main piece is an animal print, keep everything else S.I.M.P.L.E.!

Shortsleeve Tops by Monrow
Leggings by Old Navy

2.  Use small pieces--like a belt, shoe, or bag, to add drama to an otherwise causal outfit.

Sleeveless Tops by Gap
Flats by Mossimo

3. Wear animal prints to the office, to church, for work and for play.  Don't be afraid to pair patterns!

Button Front Tops by Old Navy
Flare Denim by Gap

Some other looks you might love (excuse me while I throw up).

Sleeveless Tops by Asos
Sandals by Johnston & Murphy

Things I Love: Coconut-Lime Shrimp

Okay so I really like to leave all the cooking-blog stuff to the pros--like Sarah from Frontier Kitchen but every now and then I whip up something magical and I have to share it.

The problem is that unlike cooking blogs, I never take pictures of what I'm cooking so all I can do is give you the ingredients and directions.

I stand behind the yumminess of this recipe 110%. Even without the "look at me" eye-catching photos, you should try this!

What You'll Need

• The juice and zest of one lime
• 2 minced cloves of garlic
• 1/3 c. chopped cilantro
• 1/2 c. unsweetened shredded coconut
• 1/4 c. olive oil
• 1/2 c. coconut milk (the kind in the can)
• 1/4 c. soy sauce
• 1 pound raw shrimp peeled and deveined
• skewers (soak wood ones in water)

What To Do:

1. In a food processor or blender, combine all ingredients except shrimp.  Blend until thick and smooth(ish).
2. Pour marinade over shrimp.  Cover and refrigerate at least 45 minutes (but the longer the better).
3. Put 4-5 shrimp on a skewer.
4. Lightly spray grill so shrimp won't stick.
5. Grill over low heat until pink and cooked through.
6. I served this with coconut quinoa stuffed peppers.  Mmmm!  

**Make sure to toss the marinade.  We don't use marinades that had raw meat in it.  That's yucky!**

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What I Think About: "Because I Said So!"

My parents have no gray hairs and I consider this to be a miracle because to say I was a bit of a hard kid is akin to saying the Grand Canyon is a little crack.  Seriously, every day I parent I'm amazed my parents did drown me or leave me in the wilderness or donate me to science.

As a kid, I talked--a lot!  Incessantly, really.  I'm sure you can't tell.  I mean, it's definitely not a habit I've continued ... oh wait.

I'm digressing.

One thing I couldn't stand as a child (and more specifically, a teenager) was when my parents said, "Because I said so."  Seriously, what kind of logic is that? I vowed that when I was a mom I'd never say those four little words.

I'm sure it comes as no surprise that I've recently started breaking that vow.

My name is Reagan and I tell my kids "because I said so."

Sometime I feel guilty about this.  You see, I want to logically explain to my children why I must say no or why we simply can't do or have everything they want.  I've taken this route and the more I explain, they more questions they have.  At the end of some circular debate they are angry, I'm irritated, and we generally can't remember what the offending question was to begin with.

Anyhow a few weeks ago I tired of all this circular logic talk and I broke out the big guns. BECAUSE I SAID SO.

The second those four little words slipped out of my mouth I felt ill-at-ease for using them.  But you know what happened?  My daughter accepted that answer.  WHAT?  All this logic never works but that does?  You've got to be kidding me?!?!

So I've started to say it more.  I'm not gonna lie, sometimes those words fall on deaf ears. Some times they inspire tantrums and revolts.  But thus far they haven't led to a cyclical debate (I'm sure that will happen soon).

Here's the reason I really don't feel guilty.  Sometimes rules and laws get changed on adults and we don't get reasons.  No one explains the logic to us.  We are still expected to comply because "they" (who is they by the way?) say so.  For example, I live in Wyoming where the speed limit on I-80 is 75 mph but when I cross into the state of Nebraska, the speed limit on the same interstate in 70 mph.  There's no reasoning posted.  No one explains the logic.  That's just the way it is and if I don't follow what they say, I'll have to pay for it.

I think that's how it goes for our kids.  We have reasons for the limits we set on them; we do not have to engage them in a debate about why those limits are set.  We are not parenting my committee.

What I think is that sometimes using "because I said so" is a perfectly legitimate parenting tactic.  In general I still think it is a good idea to talk and logically explain situations to kids.  But I don't feel guilty when I utter those dreaded words.

And you shouldn't either.

What to read the random heart-pourings of others?  Click this button and head over to Things I Can't Say! Thanks, Shell!

Days of Play: Swim Party

Tomorrow I am hosting a swim day for my mom's group.  YAY!

I mean, who doesn't love a perfectly good excuse to get into a swimsuit (that you may or may not have cried over when you were buying it because swim suit shopping is an emotional affair) and expose unsuspecting friends to blaring white legs?

Okay, so maybe doing the slip-n-slide in your 30s isn't a dream come true but talk about a memory maker.

So, send a text or e-mail to the folks you'll let see you in a swim suit, fill up that kiddie pool, break out the sprinkler, slather on sunscreen and spend a hot morning playing in too cold water, smiling, and warming up in the sun.

Now for my kids, simply being able to play in the water is treat enough BUT if you have older kids and want to do a bit more entertaining, I suggest clicking THIS link (<---click that) to go to Family Fun Magazine online where they have 3 fun wading pool games.

Enjoy fun in the sun.  School will be here soon and you'll wish someone made you get into a swim suit.  Trust me!

Music Monday--Matt and Kim

Every now and then I get a little blue and if I need a little musical cheer, this is SO the song I turn on.  It's really cheery.  Plus, I lived in a town with Grand Street and I've actually walked down Grand in the daylight more times than I count.  A good memory can always cheer a sad spirit.

So, for today's MUST ADD THIS SONG TO YOUR iPOD I submit

Daylight by Matt and Kim.

Date Night {OUT}: Golf Date

Here's the thing.  I don't golf.  At all.

To be fair I've never really tried but I figure when you're bad at mini-golf, you probably shouldn't be able to launch a hard ball across a course.

I'm gonna stick to mini-golf.

Now to be fair, this might sound like a lame date but really, how often do you take your spouse mini-golfing?  Plus, there's a twist (there generally is).

To Prep:

• Find a babysitter for your date night.  Plan to have your sitter for at least 3 hours
• The morning of the date, send your husband a text or e-mail that says "you are the one FORE me!"
• Get two 5 dollar bills.

Date Time

• Wear something cute but causal.
• Now, drive to a dollar store.  Give your hubby 5 dollars and set the timers on your phones for 5 minutes.  Now, go inside and buy each other costume ideas to wear for the whole date (ideas: bright red lipstick, antennae, hula skirt, crazy sunglasses, etc.). **Thanks to Randean for this idea**
• Meet in the car and give your spouse their costume items.  Get in full gear.
• Head to the mini-golf course, pay the entrance fee.  Ignore the strange looks you get from people.  This is your date time and nothing on earth compares to the uniqueness of your relationship so you might as well look like it!
• Now explain that "par" shot gets the person a big kiss.  A hole-in-one earns a 5 minute shoulder rub.  The winner gets a full body massage.  
• Play.  I suggest giggling, teasing, and competitive jesting.
• Afterwards go out for ice cream and then head home to either give or receive a massage.

Things I Love: Damn You Auto Correct

A couple of months back my husband was out of town and a friend wanted to know if I wanted to hang out.  We sent a few texts back and forth and all of a sudden I get this message: The gang bang starts at 7:00.

To which I replied, "I think I'll pass."

Of course "gang bang" is NOT at all what my friend was inviting me to.  She got auto corrected.

Another friend sent a text to me that said nothing but "hag."  She meant haha.

Finally, I send a text to a friend to see if she wanted to get together for a platypus.  Um, I meant play date.

Auto correct on phones is a funny thing.  In fact, there's a whole website dedicated to the funny and naughty things auto correct can make us "say."

Have you ever been on Damn You Auto Correct?

If you haven't, GO.  It is so funny.  I can literally read them for hours on end and I laugh so hard that I cry and threaten to wet myself.

**DISCLAIMER** This website contains foul language and crude comments.  If you are sensitive to these, skip this site!

Be prepared to end up with some classic one liners!  Some of my faves: TGI Fibromyalgia, I am Asparagus, and Hit the Haitians.

Need a good laugh, click here!

What I Think About: An Attitude Change

My mom has been flailing under her CADASIL diagnosis and we are all starting to feel like her time with us is getting shorter and shorter.

My name is Reagan and I'm a complete mess.

Emotionally I have these awesome roller coaster days where I'm bouncing off the walls with hope and optimism and then something will happen (like an insurance commercial) and suddenly I'm a blubbering wreck.

Physically I'm still recovering from surgery and haven't been able to run or rock climb or ride my bike.  I'm frustrated at how slow I'm healing.

Spiritually I'm angry and withdrawn.  Sometimes I just feel like prayers don't get answered and that God is far away.

Then the other day K-Love played this song (and I don't love K-Love.  Way FM or Air One is more my thing but for "some reason" K-Love was on in my car.  Have I mentioned my kids play with the radio?).

Watch this.



How is it possible that one song can encourage and convict?

I felt so encouraged to be gently reminded that God is good and that He is working all things out for my good.

I was convicted by my bad attitude.  I've been so quick to wallow in my pain and disappointment and frustration to realize how much my mom's illness has made me lean on The Word.

I've been so quick to mourn my pending loss that I lost sight of the ways God comforts me with kind words from friends.  Gentle breezes to to refresh me.  Mercies new every day.

I've been so focused on my anger that I didn't recognize how my anger makes me vulnerable, broken and open before God.

Nothing else in my life has ever made me humble myself before God, depend on God, cry out to God, and trust God quite like struggling with my mom's illness.

This is a merciful time.

Don't get me wrong--in my flesh I hate every minute of this but I'm beginning to see God's grace even in the bad stuff.

What I think is that I need an attitude change.  It is hard to see grace in the rain, isn't it?  And yet the rain is simply gift enough if we will embrace it.


Today, will you pray for my attitude?  That I will embrace God's mercies, even through the bad times?


Thanks


(Thanks especially to Shell who hosts my random thoughts and lets me pour my heart out!)

Days of Play--Sit Still

Do you ever just pack too much into a week.  Park days, play dates, errands, shopping, VBS, a trip to grandmas ...?

Every summer I tell myself, "this summer we are going to relax and enjoy."  And then I fill our summer days with crazy fun activities but feel so harried getting to all the fun that by the end of the day, I wonder why I planned so much.

Please tell me I'm not alone!

Last week my daughter asked what we were doing for the day.  So I told her of the big fun coming her way and she sighed.  I asked what was wrong and she said she never gets to spend time with me.

Now to be honest, my mouth hit the floor.  I'm a stay-at-home-mom.  She gets to spend time with me, trust me!  I launched into a very adult defensive mode where I recounted every special event and moment we shared the past few days.  And she gave me this look.  THE look.  The look I didn't think I'd have to deal with until she was a teenager.  And her words cut to the bone.

I don't want to just do stuff with you.  I want to be with you.

Ouch.

All this time I'm thinking these fun events are meeting her needs when what she wants is my total attention.  Not another craft.  Not a water fight.  A few minutes on my lap laughing about the word poop (I still don't understand why this word is funny) or reading a story.

So today, carve out fifteen minutes (or an hour--whatever) and sit still with your children.  Read them a book.  Tell them a story or silly jokes.  Look through a photo album.  Don't let phone calls or tidying up distract you.  Sit still.

Music Monday: The Epilogues

The Epilogues are gonna be big, in my humble opinion.  They are a band from Denver, CO (near me!  YAY!) and their sound is kind of haunting but in a raw and beautiful way.

I'm not gonna lie, this is a "harder" sound than I generally suggest but I think they are worth a listen.  And if you like 'em, head to Itunes and give their other work a listen.

Hunting Season

Fashion Friday: An Outfit Post

So I haven't posted an outfit in eons because the 30/30 pretty much turned me off from having my photo taken EVER again.

But I guess I'll go ahead and show you what I wore to the wedding I blabbed about in THIS post.

Like I stated in that post I wore a black dress. To a wedding.  Yep.  That's me breaking all the rules.  Seriously, I bought this LBD at Target for $7.  {Insert high five here}

So my brother-in-law totally thought these shoes were scandalous.  I think they are hot. And the friend loaned me the cardi.  The jewelry is from the Vera Wang collection at Kohls.  I probably got some where around 9,742 compliments on the jewelry (and a few for the legs--nice little bonus).

Aren't the Falls lovely?

So for the Sunday event I wore this white jean, military jacket, wedge shoe combo.  Hello awesome outfit.  Of course I photograph like a real goofball so you'll have to trust me that it was awesome.

About the rehearsal dinner.  I SO didn't wear what I picked to wear in the wedding gear post.  And there was a bowling event that day where it was bowling for shots and winners had to drink and I, the girl who has never hit a pin before, did amazingly well. 

Long story short, there are no photos of the rehearsal dinner outfit.  It was a retro-pleated, plaid skirt, black top, and high heel boots.  No photos because I was not in ANY condition to be photographed. Because in those photos I look bad.

A little something like this--totally unstable.

This is my alter-ego and my brother-in-law's alter ego. I promise we are generally more attractive than this. 

But YAY for my team who totally cleaned up!

Things I Love: Roller Derby

I've had one friend since I was entering kindergarten and we still talk.  I'm sorry but how awesome is that?

Of course that seems to have nothing to do with roller derby but it does, I promise.

See here in Wyoming we don't have a huge population and the population that loves roller derby is considerably smaller.  But my friend (the one from pre-k days) started a team in her town and now there are several in Wyoming and they get together and do bouts and share profits with charities.  It's awesome.

Reagan and Jina--28 years of friendship

If you don't know anything about roller derby then let me first say "WHAT?" Second, let me explain that it is a contact sport for hot women on roller skates.  There are jammers and blockers and refs.  Crazy uniforms and nicknames are essential.

It's kinda like a musical where you also get to kick ass. A. Mazing.

Anyhow I just love that there is an activity where women can get out, get in shape, rough each other up, have fun, and bring out the crowds while helping people.

If you see a sign for a derby, go. You'll thank me.

In the mean time, talk derby to me!

What I Think About: Sister Ears

So a few weeks ago my sister sent me this message on Facebook.  Literally.  I copied and pasted this comment from Facebook.

So, Ella just informed me that she can understand things that Jori says when I can't because she has "sister ears." The more I think about it, the more profound those words are becoming to me. So, I wanted to tell you thank you for always having your extraordinary "sister ears" and for always just "getting me." (Is it just me or did I over use quote marks? Geesh)

Despite the fact that my sister and I both like to start sentences with "so" I just had to comment on this, um, comment.

The past few weeks, or maybe years, have just been a little hard for me what with being in school, having young children, my mom being sick ...  While I have great friends and an amazing husband and supportive in-laws (yes, you read that correctly), sometimes the only person who can really "hear" me is my sister (quotation mark over use runs in the family.  So does insanity).

I can call her when I'm ready to cry and she instantly knows if she should get me to laugh or let me cry.   She knows when she can cry with me and when she has to be strong.  She knows when she can laugh with me and when she can laugh at me. She gives advice when I need it but withholds it when I don't.  She even knows the right things to say and do when I simply can't share with her what's wrong.  Sometimes I literally just call her up and say I'm blue and that's as far as I go.  And it's enough.

Because somehow her sister ears are tuned into my heart and she just gets me in a way that perhaps no one else can.

We've danced on paths of joy; we have walked on paths of sorrow.  We have been best friends; we have been enemies.  We are oil and water.  If you just read that you'll see one common denominator.  We have always been we.

We are sisters.  Best friends.  Kindred spirits.

What I think is that my sister, and her sister ears have monumentally made an impact on my life.  I wouldn't be the woman I am if she wasn't the woman she is.

Randean, thank you for your sister ears.

Have a sister?  Leave a comment about your favorite memory of her--or the time she helped you most.  Forward a link to this blog to her just to say, "Hey, thanks for being who you are."

Thanks to Shell for hosting random heart thoughts!

Days of Play: Flower Fairies

I'm one of those moms who thinks Family Fun magazine is one step away from pure genius.  This idea is from them.

Essentially go for a walk and pick a few flowers and leaves.  I don't about you but this sort of "nature walk" can take an hour with my kids so don't forget water and sunscreen.

When you get home, break out the glue and markers (and glitter because what fairy doesn't have glitter?) and make a flower fairy.

Here's a picture from Family Fun's site for a little inspiration:

Photo from Family Fun

What's great about this activity is any age kid can do it (well, any age past that age where everything goes into the mouth).

Just let your kid glue stuff down and then use all that pent up creativity to make a fairy.  Or a fairy boat or a fairy house or a fairy pet ...

Music Monday: The Avett Brothers

If you've been on Earth for any amount of time and have access to a radio station then I'm going to go ahead and assume that you've heard of Mumford & Sons.  If you haven't then I suggest you check them out.  They are fun.  Folksy.

But if you've heard Little Lion Man or The Cave so many times you'd like to throw the Sigh No More CD out the window but can't because you love the sound, then please, pretty pretty please, check out the Avett Brothers.

The Avett Brothers have a similar sound.  And to be honest, I'm pretty sure that the Avett Brothers are just more proof that men with beards make good music.

So first up, I and Love and You. A classic. I love it. Makes me happy.



And of course there's Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise. Who hasn't been there.





Enjoy some new music this Monday.

Things I Love: Cheesecake

Have I ever mentioned I love cheesecake?

Oh, just a few hundred times?  Well then, let me remind you, I LOVE CHEESECAKE.

Seriously, love it.  Like if I had to pick between my iPhone and cheesecake I might need counseling.

So when I had surgery a few weeks ago Sarah from Frontier Kitchen decided to whip me up a cheesecake to help make me feel better.

(At this point I should totally point out that I have the BEST friends ever. I mean, some people bring you icky tater-tot casseroles when you are out of commission but you know what my friends do?  They take care of my kids, clean my house, make sure I'm on the right meds and BRING ME CHEESECAKE!).

Anyhow, Sarah whipped up this lemon-blueberry dream.  She literally brought me the whole cheesecake.  And I ate it.  Like all of it.  It was that good.  In fact, I'm considering another surgery just so she'll take pity on me and make me another one.

Because I love cheesecake that much. 

Now, which organs are optional?

Yep, this is literally MY cheesecake.  Isn't it amazing. So drool worthy.

Want the recipe?  Click here  <----yep, click that link and you'll go right to Frontier Kitchen and this recipe.  One more fun tidbit, in this recipe post when Sarah says she was at a casual 4th of July party, she was at my house :)

What I Think About: Being Lost in Faith

There is nothing like calves and quads burning up a steep hill on a path that has long since surrendered to wildflowers and fallen trees to remind me how small I am and how great He is.

Sitting at the base of some granite wall God placed here in His time as a monument of beauty and glory I reflect on the path I've just run.

It started easily--downhill in trees that blocked me from the ever-present Wyoming wind. The path was obvious as I followed it up a leisurely, unobstructed hill. As I descended again the path grew smaller and windier.  The small bits of rock covering the hill made it dangerous to run too quickly down the hill. The path was covered with flowering bushes that tickled my legs--a warning to slow down. This led to a dark place.

Under looming rock formations, in the black shade of hovering pines I was chilled.  Downed trees covered the path. I went left and could not pass. Right yet I could not pass. I had to slow and climb over. Because some obstacles we have to face head on and this never seems more true than we are in dark places.

On the other side of the obstacle I was rewarded with sunlight, a breeze, and that obvious path that beckoned me silently, "this way".

And I followed the path because I knew it was the way. I trusted, blindly.  I didn't question; I followed and I was at peace with that choice.

But paths never stay the same--do they?

I was running.  Lost in the beauty of blue skies and quaking aspen leaves.  Suddenly I realized I was not on a path. I was just running at the base of a huge rock formation. No map to show me the way; no friend to guide me. I was alone. Without direction--without a path to follow. 

I contemplated going back--to find that trail in the sun where it was easier.  But I knew in my heart that I could never go back; I could only go forward.

So I slowed my pace and went on looking for clues to lead me to the finish line. I saw nothing but pressed on. Slowly. Methodically. Timidly.

And then I saw it--on the right.

A grassy area covered with flowers and trees stumps. When I looked closely I noticed that some of that grass lay to one side--as though it had been walked on.  Not by many--but by someone.  And perhaps the one who made this path made it for me.  Hesitantly I stepped once. Twice. It was hard to discern this path. I had to pay attention--I had to work at it. But I followed this barely-there, new territory, trust me and follow path.

I followed without knowing where I was going. Without knowing if it was the right way. Without having a reason or a purpose. I followed this rarely used path hoping it was the one for me.

It led me through muddy waters. Over tress and over rocks. I stumbled thrice. But I kept jogging ever hopeful--refusing to listen to those sneaky thoughts that I ought to go back because this was the wrong way.  I ran on.

Soon enough the path widened and the growth became less and less. The wind picked up carrying voices. Ahead climbers were ascending a climb, comfortably trusting their ropes and harnesses.

And there was the path. Wide. Well traveled. Obvious.

Here it hits me that this path was here the whole time. I'd gotten off it at one turn or another. Distracted, prideful--perhaps both--I followed my own way.  Yet He was there. Making a way through the wilderness.  Stepping into those grasses to guide me. Whispering encouragement on the wings of a passing butterfly. Offering hope in the cooling breeze.

These paths--they guide us and lead us. They aren't easy. Paths don't mean that the run won't leave me sore, tired, or breathless. They don't mean you won't get lost or take your own way. They aren't always discernible. Sometimes it's hard to even trust that paths are there because it doesn't feel like they are there.

But there is always a Way.

And so it goes with faith.

Days of Play: 3 Simple Steps {That's All You Need}

Any Special Agent Oso fans out there?

No?

Well, I don't blame you.  That bear drives me nuts.  But my kids sure like him.

Anyhow not too long ago Oso gave three simple steps for making fruit pops.

1.  Get an ice cube tray
2.  Put a sliced banana in each tray and spear it through with a toothpick (He didn't think that all the way through.  In my humble mom-pinion, toddlers shouldn't have toothpicks.  But I might be over-protective).
3.  Pour Orange Juice into each little ice cube/banana slot and freeze.

Wa-la--a healthy fruit pop.

Make those today.  It's easy enough to do with kids and fast enough to get it done without regretting your decision to cook with your kids :)

If you feel more adventurous, how about these?

Yep, that photo is from Our Best Bites and, like always, they have a huge assortment of pudding pops you can make with your kids.  They might take more than three steps but they'll taste delicious.  And if you hurry over there, you might get the stupid "three special steps, that's all you need" song out of your head (if you are lucky.)

Music Monday: Band of Horses

So a few weeks ago we went to Sioux Falls to attend an event wherein my brother-in-law gave me another sister. YAY for Megan and Josh (well, mostly for Megan because a girl with one fun-loving sister is lucky; two are a blessing.  You can begin being jealous of me .... NOW!).

Anyhow, for their wedding dance, Josh and Megan picked the song "The Funeral" by Band of Horses.

I know, right?

You've gotta be big-fat confident in your marriage if you're gonna start it with a song called "The Funeral."

Despite the name (and the lyrics) this song is simply B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L.

Give it a listen and then you'll understand why it is their special song.  And why it's on my iPod.  And why it should be on yours.

Things I Love: I {Heart} Radio

Here's a shocking truth.

I hate the radio.

Really there is never anything on I like.  It's always the same lame songs over and over and over.  I've had it up to HERE (imagine me with my arm over my head) with Nickleback, Taylor Swift, and Lady Gaga!  Blech.

So as a rule of thumb I don't listen to the radio,

Unless I'm in Denver and then I can listen to 93.3

People, this is the I Ching of radio stations. All modern alternative rock all the time (except for 11 pm when they play electronic/techno music.  I skip that).

I kept trying to convince Matt that we need to move to Denver so I can have a good radio station. But apparently that's not a good idea since he'd have to get a new job and we'd have to sell our house and make new friends and stuff.  Apparently his priorities are mixed up :)

Anyhow, one day I was stalking the 93.3 playlists--you know, to torture myself--and I found a play online button.  WHAT?

I clicked, it took me to an I HEART RADIO app which I promptly downloaded.  Now every now and then this app will crash but overall, I love it.  Lovey, love, love-love-LOVE it!  I can listen to 93.3 anytime, anywhere.

Thank you I Heart Radio.  I heart you!

What I Think About: Secret Broken Hearts

There's nothing worse than a broken heart.

That's what I used to think.  But now I know better.  The truth is, there is nothing worse than a secret broken heart.

Secret.  As in, something you've never told anyone.  A wish.  A dream.  A barely whispered prayer.

I've had this secret "other" life that I dreamed I would live.  And yesterday, though I knew it was coming for a long time, if finally hit me.  I'm never gonna have that life.  And I just fell apart.

It isn't that my life isn't heavenly.  I mean, it's divine.  I am in a passionate and fulfilling marriage.  I have darling children.  I have the love and support of so many friends.  But one thing is off.  One thing will never be right. And I'm broken hearted about it.  What's worse is I can't explain more than this. It would ruin how sacred this dream was to me.

So I have a secret broken heart.  And I've written it a poem.

There's an edge in my attitude and my eyes don't sparkle as much, it seems.
My stature has lost its confidence; my laughter it's familiar ring.

How do you let go when memories that made you laugh, now make you cry.
And how do you mourn a dream of what you hoped would be
when it escapes you like a sigh?

I'm tired of saying I'm fine.
I'm more tired of pretending to be.
I didn't know that it'd be like this from the start.
Didn't know it would kill me to have a secret broken heart.

But the words you wrote, you spoke, you sang, you whispered ...
They haunt me.  They won't leave me alone.
And I don't want them to leave alone.

I want it not to hurt.
I want it to be okay.
I want to go back to make you see--to make you stay.

Stay with me.  How you are.
Because I'm fine with imperfection
It makes you perfect for me.

But how do I make you see when who you are is nothing but a memory,
a dream, an illusion--to me.

I'm so damn tired of saying I'm fine--more so of pretending to be.

I'm not alright.
I am broken.

And my secret broken heart is might kill me.

What do you do, when dreams don't come true?
When they divide you? When they break you?

Days of Play: Water Fight!

It is officially summer here (sigh)

Since I live in a state that only gets summer for about forty days I like to really whoop it up when the weather allows (Read: My kids have to make me come inside for dinner and force me to take a bath. Sad but true).

I'm all about setting up the pool, running through the sprinkler, and sliding headfirst down the dodgy slip-n-slide I got for $1 at a garage sale.

Sometimes I even let my kids play.

Anyhow, I was reading A Little Tipsy the other day and there was a guest blog that gave instructions to make sponge bombs. HELLO?  Count me in!

Basically these are little bombs of delightful wet fun.  They soak in a ton of water so when you toss it to someone they get soaked! YAY!

So I suggest that you follow THIS link to get directions to make a sponge bomb.  And then have a water fight or play hot potato with your kids.

Enjoy!

Music Monday: The Spill Canvas

So this band is from Sioux Falls, SD--where my brother and sister in law live--and they are pretty much amazing.

The bad news: they've "kinda" broken up. Okay, they are on "hiatus."
The good news: Twitter keeps posting rumors that The Spill Canvas might be putting a new album together!  Yay (if it happens!).

My two fave songs from The Spill Canvas are:

All Over You



Our Song (Take note Taylor Swift--this song is sooo much better!)



Rush to ITunes and get two new songs. Right now. I'll wait!

Happy 4th of July!

Fashion Friday: It Can't Be July!

Oh my stars--it can't be July.  Where did June go?

Well, whether I'm ready for the quintessential summer holiday or not, it's nearly here.  If you like to rock out some red, white, blue for the 4th, please be inspired!

Shorts by Forever 21
Flats by Mossimo

Tanks by Mossimo
Flats by Mossimo

Sleeveless Tops by Gap
Sandals by Forever 21

Day Dresses by Forever 21
Sandals by Forever 21

Things I Love: This Song

And I hope it gets stuck in your head.  Welcome to the Flobots--a hip hop band from Denver.  I love them.

Happy Thursday!

What I Think About: Having People Who are There for You

Yesterday I mentioned that I had to have surgery.  It went well (I think.  I'm actually writing this at 1:30 am on Tuesday morning so I'm just assuming that the surgery went well.  If I died I've left Matt with directions to delete this blog.  If you're reading it, I'm still kicking.  Wow.  I must not blog so late at night ...).

Anyhoo--I found out last week that I was going to have surgery and instantly morphed into this wild woman with a pit in my stomach.  I was nervous as a turkey at Thanksgiving!  Really, I could hardly be contained by my skin.

So I did what I could do.  I called my friends and forced them to meet me for play dates.  And then I invited myself over to their houses and made them unleash me on toys that needed organized.  As much as possible, I let my friends help me forget what was coming or the fears in my heart. 

When I told my sister about the surgery, she decided to pack up her kids and drive to my house so she could care for me, the kids, the house, and the hubs while I'm out of commission.

And it dawned on me today as my friend Kim called and prayed for me, that I have a hard time asking for help.  Really, I love to help others but don't love to receive it.  It's a pride thing.  But right now I need help.  And I have it.

What I think is that I'm blessed to have people who are there for me. 

Thank you to Randean, Beth, Sarah, Krista, and Kim for being there for me!

Days of Play: Indoor Camping

Know what I'm doing today?  I'm not playing with my kids.  I'm getting ready for surgery.  Yuck.

But if you want to play with your kids (which I totally encourage!), I strongly encourage you to check out my friend Jenny's indoor camping date with her children.

Great idea--great pictures.

Get s'mores fixin's and have a blast with your campfire cuties!

Oh ya, click here for all the details!

Music Monday: A Fine Frenzy

Since I have limited access to a computer that allows me to blog (get well soon, Mac!), I've decided to keep going with Monday posts introducing you to some lesser-known musical artists that are actually on my Ipod.

A Fine Frenzy is a delightful artist who took her "name" from a line in a Midsummer's Night Dream.  That fact alone has me hooked!

I love her easy, breezy, emotional music.  Take a listen.  You'll love her.  I promise.

This song is Almost Lover--one of her most popular!

Date Night {IN}--The Yogurt Edition

So this is gonna seem totally weird but we love yogurt.  So we did a yogurt date.  If you don't like yogurt feel free to substitute the yogurt with chocolate syrup, pudding, honey ---whatever floats your boat.

What you need:

• Some time sans kiddos
• yogurt
• paper scraps with one letter A-Z written on the scrap
• hat to put scraps in
• dice

What to do:

1. On scraps of paper, write one letter and then put the scraps of paper into a hat.
2. Set the scene--we made a comfy little pallet on the floor in front of the fire, turned on the Airborne Toxic Event station on Pandora, and lit candles.
3. Get into as little clothing as you are comfortable with.
4. So to play, take turns drawing a letter out of the hat.  Let's say you pull out "T".  You have to find a part on your spouse's body that starts with that letter (tummy, tongue, toes, tibia...), put some yogurt on it, and lick it off.  Here's the catch, you can use silly names or body parts (like funny bone for F) or secret names (I could give you an example but then I'd have to kill you).  You want to think of the most difficult name possible because your spouse has to guess why you chose that location (which is why I'd pick tibia over tummy for T).  If he guesses wrong, roll the dice and he owes you that many minutes worth of back rub, foot rub, hair plays, etc.  
5. Finish the date with a hot shower because you'll be sticky :)

Things I Love: Spicy

Yes.  I love spicy food.  But that's not what I'm talking about here.

What I love is the word SPICY. 

Remember the girl from Mean Girls who wants to make the word "fetch" popular?  Well, I've been on a mission to make spicy popular.  And it's catching on.

At first I started saying spicy in place of the word hot--which seems obvious.  For example, "It's spicy out today" or "My husband is so spicy!"

Then I decided that spicy could also substitute for sassiness, snarkiness, wit, etc.  "Wow, you are being spicy!" or "Love the spicy comment."

Of course, I use spicy to help tone down a contentious situation.  For example, in class two students were rigorously debating and to help bring calm back into the classroom, I said, "This is a spicy conversations."

Turns out lots of people love my word.  I've caught friends posting it in Facebook (my daughter is so spicy today!), students writing it in e-mails, Matt using it when he likes how I dress...  It's catching on!  YAY!

I love spicy!  It's so fetch!

Days of Play: Rainy Day Scavenger Hunt

We have a chance of rain every day this week.  Yes, I'm doing a happy dance.  Sorry, I'm that girl who prefers 60 and rain to 80s with sun. 

If you are stuck inside on a rainy day it can be hard to entertain little ones.  At our house, a scavenger hunt always goes a long way.  What I like is how quickly I can whip up a hunt.  No need for maps or lists--simply pick an attribute of an item, give kids a grocery sack, set a timer, and send them off into the house to gather anything that meets the criteria.

For example, have kids find things that are: blue (or any other color), round (or any other shape), small (or any other size), soft (or another texture), etc.  Feel free to give younger children an easier task (color) and older children a more difficult task (90' triangles) to make this activity work for all kids in the house.

When time is up, empty bags and go through what your kiddos found.  Then put everything back TOGETHER and have some special "treasure" as a reward for a hunt well done.

Some Monday Music

So my Mac is still an absolute mess.  One of Matt's co-workers loaned me his MacBook Pro so I can work on my competency exam questions.  I figure I might as well write a blog or two since I have it.

I have a pretty eclectic taste in music and people often want to know what I'm listening to. So I'm gonna do a few posts on music I love, some lesser-known artists, etc.

First up--The Airborne Toxic Event.  This band is really gaining in popularity. I've been in musical love with them for just over a year.  I went to one of their concerts a week ago and they actually sound better LIVE--which like, never happens.  Anyhoo, give this a listen. This video is of their most recent hit, Changing.

Things I Love: Thunder Storms

Tonight the sky turned dark and pink. The sun was setting and clouds rolled in. Then the show started.

Accompanied by a symphony of wind and the steady rumble of heavenly drums, light danced across the sky in graceful yet frenzied movement.

Left. Right. Alone. In pairs. The light streaked in slim lines at times while illuminating whole cloud banks other times.

Rain fell gently renewing the dry ground and filling the earth with perhaps the most delicious and intoxicating smell ever.

I stood staring at the beauty from the sliding glass door in my kitchen and I was, for once, without words.

There is, perhaps, nothing lovelier than a summer thunder storm.

What I Think About: My Sick Mac

So my boot up software on Mac is down ... Again.

Last time this happened I had 20 papers to read and final grades to post.

Now I have my first answer to my first competency question due on June 30 and I haven't typed a single thing! And I'm doing research (and writing this blog) on my phone! Ahhhh!

I know it'll all work out and that I'll rally and get my paper done but right now I'm a bit stressed. Or a lot stressed. Whatever!

What I think about my sick Mac is me no likey! This is actually worse than a man cold (okay, maybe I'm being dramatic. Still.)

Get well soon, Mac!

The bus, the bus, the bus is on fire

Last week I spent time at Quaker Ridge in Colorado for WYLDlife camp. Ropes courses, horseback riding, shaving cream and flour fights, human bowling, singing, swimming ... I had about as much fun as you can possibly have in one week.

There was only one small hiccup in the whole week (which is pretty darn good).

Our bus burned to the ground.

Yep--you read that correctly. Last Monday our tour bus got a flat which started the bus on fire. We had to get 50 kids/leaders and their bags off the bus. Yours truely was the baggage hero who literally crawled under the bus(remember, it's on fire) to remove all the bags. I tossed them out and the kids--working as an amazing team--formed an assembly line of sorts to pass the bags down the highway to safety.

We got the bags out and ran down the highway right about the time tires and gas tanks started exploding. Aside from a scraped knee (and sore throats/lungs from the smoke) there were no injuries!

Sadly we had to wait for about 3 hours for another bus to come get us but we did eventually get to camp. Some people might call this a tragedy but I love that this experience brought us together as a group. It solidified our trust in one another. It reminded me that my God is mighty to save!

Days of Play--Family Knots

Get all family members into a circle.  Put your hands in the center and grab someone else's hands.  You should be in a knot.  Now, untie yourselves.  This is a great activity to practice listening, following directions, and teamwork.

On the downside, this isn't great to do with small children.  Check out some previous posts if you'd like ideas of something to do with small children.


Bubbles
Indoor rafting
Color Hunt

MIA

Reagan is MIA this week.

Actually, she's at WYLDlife camp with a whole bunch of awesome middle school aged kids and she's having too much fun to blog.

Not that she doesn't love blogging or the people who read her random thoughts.  

To be continued in one week ....

Date Night {OUT}--Bar Games

Grab your guy and head to a local bar--a place that's a real {safe} dive.

Order a beer (if you drink) or a soda (if you don't) and challenge your fella to a couple of bar games. Shoot a round of pool or play darts.

If you are like me, this will be a stretch since I'm not into the bar scene. But sometimes getting out of my comfort zone is the best idea ever. So indulge yourself in some peanut on the floor, country music on the juke box, rack 'em up, fun!

Source

Things I Love: Grass

Freshly cut grass, that is.

To me nothing says, "Welcome, Summer" quite like the sound of a lawn mower and the delicious mix of gasoline and newly cut grass.

Of course I'm horribly allergic to all things that grow but I like to stand on the deck, soak in the smell, and let it take me back to the days of Uncle Don mowing his huge yard while Jennifer and I read Christopher Pike novels on blankets in the sun.

Mmmm.  Grass.

What's a smell that you love?

What I Think About: When the Young Die

When I was nearly five I met a girl named Jina.  Nearly three decades later she is still among my closest friends.  As often happens with friends, I became close to Jina's brother, Jeremy.  He was sort of the big brother I never had (he even did irritating things like whipping me with wet towels and hanging me upside down). I love it when that happens--when you get two friends for the price of one.  How precious is that!?!

Jeremy--not quite 35--died early on Tuesday from a massive heart attack.

Not believing what I was seeing on Facebook, I called Jina and she confirmed what I had been reading.  Jeremy was dead.

I couldn't believe it.  I can't believe it.

Those words are foreign on my tongue.  How can I grasp this awful truth--that sometimes, the good--the young--the fathers to young daughters ... die?

It was uncomfortable talking on the phone to my oldest friend.  What could I say?  Words are junk in moments like these.  Comfort impossible.  Hope feels like an illusion--both to offer and receive.  So I said all I could say--that I was heartbroken and loved and her.

What I wanted to scream--to her, to the neighbors, to the wall was, "IT IS NOT FAIR WHEN THE YOUNG DIE!"

Today as I mulled over my memories of Jeremy I thought about death.  Everyone tells us not to fear death but how do you not?  Even if you have hope and faith, how can you not fear death?

I remember reading once--I think in a John Eldredge book--about death and how it is nearly impossible for Christians to reconcile death because we were never meant to experience death.  We were the eternal people.  Life eternal was ours but we traded it.

One bite of an apple later and death is all around us and who can be comforted?  Sure we move on and it gets easier but every now and then it hits--that memory that makes you laugh so hard you cry; that burning ache caused by loss; the empty chair at the dinner table.

Death haunts us even when we hope in the future.

When the young die, people--myself included--question God.  Why Jeremy?  Why so young? What now? Where is the redemption in this?  Why, God?  Why?

I don't have the answers.  I probably never will.

What I think about when the young die is that God is still God and God is still good.  Though I burn with hurt and anger, I will stand on this Rock.  I will believe in Him if I feel it or not.  I will not be shaken. 

Thanks to Shell at Things I Can't Say for hosting my random (sometimes depressing) thoughts.

Less and More

Less paper work

More ice cream

Less people

More bike rides

Less commitments

More walks

More swimming

More S'mores

More BBQs

Less rushing

More stargazing

Less snow shoveling

More laughter 

Or what I like to call

Summer

Wedding Gear

So, as of tomorrow afternoon I will officially have a new sister!  My brother-in-law is getting married and I can hardly wait to have a sister-in-law on my husbands side of the family.

HAPPY DANCE

Anyhow, I've been agonizing what to wear to the wedding.  This isn't going to be royal so no ridiculous hats are needed (thank goodness!).

Here's what I'm thinking ...

Rehearsal Dinner

Day Dresses by Mossimo
Clutches by Forever 21

Actual Wedding

Black Dresses by Calvin Klein
Platforms by Forever 21

Sunday Brunch

Tanks by Banana Republic
Wallets by Forever 21

Yes.  I'm going to wear black to the wedding.  Black is classic.  I am not mourning.  I'm celebrating a deep, deep love between newlyweds and Little Black Dresses.

Things I Love: My Million Dollar Jeans

Every girl should have a pair of million dollar jeans.

Of course I don't necessarily mean a pair of outrageously expensive jeans.

I mean jeans that make you feel like a million bucks.

Jeans that fit your legs and your hips and your derriere so well it seems as though the jeans were literally made for you.

When I know I have a tough day ahead, I put on my million dollar jeans and somehow, just the comfortable feel of slipping into a pair of jeans that melt against me gives me courage to face a day.

So thank you, American Eagle Boyfriend 77 jeans for hugging my curves, boosting my bum, and making me look hot--even if I'm only in my slippers and a t-shirt.

Tell me about your million dollar jeans!

What I Think About: Selling My Children

You know, I would never put a "For Sale" sign on my kids and put them in the front yard to be purchased by the highest bidder.

Even though they can be cranky and sassy and down right disobedient, I love them.  They are mine.  I'm gonna keep them. 

But sometimes when I let my children watch TV, I sort of feel like I'm putting my kids--or at least their minds--up for sale.

Have you noticed how grossly advertisements target children--even babies--through commercials and product placement?  It's actually quite disgusting to me.

I mean, do my children really need Sketcher Twinkle Toes to go to school?  Does a Happy Meal actually make them happy?  Does M.E. need that Easy Bake Oven to make her a successful professional and will that Thomas the Train engine ensure Paxton will be a man's-man engineer?

I think not but millions of children don't understand the hidden messages and context of commercials.

I'm prone to taking a pretty critical look at "stuff" like this and I'm not exactly pleased with what my research is showing me.

For example:

• Companies spend $17 billion dollars marketing items toward children in hope of producing life-long consumer loyalty.
• Children under the age of 12 influence $500 billion dollars in materialistic purchases each year.
• Children 2-11 see 25,000 commercials per year (which affects point 2).
• Many advertisements promote sexual stereotypes (girls should be sexy and cook; boys build with Legos) and violence.
• 63% of parents believe that their children's self-worth is defined by what they own.

Now many of you will say this is all harmless.  But really, think about this.  Why would companies spend BILLIONS of dollars trying to attract our children if that money didn't make a difference?

The short answer: They wouldn't!

Whether you want to believe it or not, these ads have an affect on buying habits, values, and even self-worth (you should see the data of eating disorders being linked to perceived beauty ideals promoted through TV shows, movies, magazines ....{Shudder}...).

Have you ever seen a toddler scream to buy a box of Mac-n-Cheese because Woody is on it?  The child doesn't know what s/he is buying but still "needs" it because Woody is selling it. 
Does your child need this brand or that character for the start of a new school year?
Has your 5 year old told you she needs to diet to be skinny like Ariel?

These ads--these "harmless" product placements in TV shows---they matter.  They affect our children whether we want them to or not.

What I think is that every time we turn on the TV, we put our kids up for sale!

Want to stop selling your children?  Get the facts.  Get resources.  Get involved.

Start here at the Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood.  <---click that link.  I double dog dare ya!

Thanks for hosting, Shell!

Days of Play: Goodbye School

M.E.'s last official day of preschool is Wednesday.

I'm a little emotional. :(

Moving on.

Today for our special time, M.E. and I are going to pick out a nice book to donate to her (soon to be former) classroom.  This just feels like the gift that keeps on giving.

If your child is in school, let me encourage you to do the same.

Go to a bookstore and purchase an age appropriate book.

Write the date and a brief note of thanks to the teacher on the inside of the book.

Let your child color the inside cover to "personalize" the gift.

Wrap it up and give it to your teacher (though you might want to read it first!).

Confession

Deep down in side, I'm a girl who likes comics and super heroes.  Give me action!

This actually works out really well for Matt and I because we can go to these movies together and both have fun.  He's not suffering through a chick-flick and I'm not pretending to think Between Two Ferns is funny.

On Saturday night my sister and I went to the movies (can I hear a WooHoo!) and saw this preview.



Kill me now for two reasons:
1. It's another X-Men movie and I love X-Men!
2. James McAvoy is Professor X. Have I ever mentioned that in the scheme of celebrities I love, there's Robert Downey Jr. and then there's James McAvoy? You ladies can keep Gerard Butler and George Clooney--these are my fellas!

Anyhow, I confess to loving Marvel Comics and James McAvoy.

Phew. My conscience is clear now.

Date Night {OUT}: Progressive Dinner

I love progressive dinners!

Here's the main concept: you eat a different course at different restaurants/houses.  That's it!

This date can be done two ways: solo or with a group of friends. Read on!

SOLO:

If it's just going to be you and your husband, map out some restaurants you'd like to eat at.  Go to restaurant #1 for an appetizer.  Go to restaurant #2 for soup or salad. Go to restaurant #3 for a main course.  Go to restaurant #4 for dessert.  Go to restaurant #5 for drinks/hot drinks.

You can choose to do this fast food style to keep it fast and cheap OR make a night of it and go to sit down restaurants.  Sure your servers might think you are nuts but leave a good tip and they'll forgive you!

GROUP DATE:
Get together 3-5 other couples.  On five slips of paper, write down a course (appetizer, soup/salad, main, dessert, drinks).  On another five slips of paper, write down a theme.  For examples, you could do countries (US, Mexico, France, Italy, China) or colors (red, white, black, yellow, green).  Put the slips in two different bowls.

Now, have one person from each couple grab a slip from each bowl to let them know what course/theme to follow.  For example, you could have to make a Italian dessert or a red main course.  Encourage couples to go ALL OUT decorating in their theme.

Finally, schedule times to be at each others homes.  For example, start appetizers at 430.  Move to soup house at 5:15, etc.  Whoever has the final course should prepare games for people to play or provide another form of entertainment.