What I Think About--Sibling Relationships

In the newest edition of my favorite magazine there is an article on how to stay close with your siblings.  You can read it here.  It's a charming little Top 10 article that made me laugh (actually I was reading this while bathing the kids and fell off the potty in a fit of hysterics--lid was down--when I read one in particular ... I'm not divulging which one!).  On a side note, my kids still think I'm crazy.

Its no secret that I struggle in some relationships.  Who doesn't?  Let me give you some background (on at least one of them).

For about 20 years of my life I wished I was an only child.  I have one older sister and she's a real nightmare.  Really.  5'10", 115 pounds.  Luminous skin. Clear blue eyes. Perfect reddish hair. Funny.  Smart. A social butterfly.  Did I mention she's drop dead gorgeous?  And if people didn't love her because she was breath-taking, then they were taken with her sweet nature, good-humor and amazing fashion sense.  Egads.  I'm not kidding you when I say that growing up people always told her, "You should be a model."  (These same people would tell me, "maybe you could be a teacher").  You get the point.

Middle school is hard enough without the town's hottest chick being your uber likable big sister.  I can't count the number of times I cursed my bad luck that I (the over-opinionated, frumpy, mousey-blond hair geek with a bad attitude) had to follow in her footsteps.

My big sister, Randean with my nephew Kaeden.  
I say this with no malice. She dyes her hair.

But then we grew up.  Now I think, what would I do without her?  On days when I don't think I'll make it through another tantrum, she understands.  When I'm angry with my mom's disease, she gets it.  When I need to vent, she listens.  When I need to laugh, she can make me.  When I need to cry (which is almost never), she pretends she understands my non-sense blubber talk.  We have not had a perfect relationship but I can't count the number of reasons I'm grateful that she is a part of my life.

She's my best friend.

In honor of my sister, I'm responding to the author of "How to Stay Close to Your Siblings."  If you don't understand the stuff in italics, that's cool. It's for my sister Randean anyway. (I know what you are thinking.  Their parents named them Randean and Reagan? Tell me about it.  My mom's name is Rilda.  Does that help explain things?)

1. Childhood is like Vegas. Let what happened there stay there. When it comes to petty fights or embarrassing moments, I couldn't agree more. But if you can all look back and get a kick out of a memory, I say, "why not reminisce?" In that same line of thinking, if there is a deep-seated unresolved issue, I think it needs to be addressed.  Remember fighting over how to wear eyeliner?  We can laugh about that now, right?  We'll save "eating our beans" for another day ...
2. Make a cameo appearance.  I agree with the author that if you want to be close to your family you need to spend purposeful time together.  By the way, purposeful means beyond token holidays and celebrations.  Get together for the heck of it.  Skype date?
3. Stop being the family mole.  In essence, stop gossiping behind family members' backs.  Luckily my family is small and direct enough that we pretty much just say what we mean (this doesn't mean we are totally healthy in the way we address conflict but at least we yell at the source of our problem rather than ignoring each other or yelling at our mom because of something the other did!  We are our own brand of dysfunctional and we all function well in it. How scary is that?).  And all I can say is, AMEN to the no-mole business.  Do I have a story for you--j/k!
4. Mind your manners.  Remember how you treat strangers with respect?  Do the same thing to your family.  If you wouldn't scream at Joe Schmoe for eating the last cookie, don't scream at your sibling.  And if you'd forgive a friend for posting a bad photo of you on their blog (twice), forgive your sibling.  Sorry about that whole mullet thing. Both times.
5. Fight Typecasting.  Every family has the "baby" and the "favorite" child.  But really, no family does.  We all grow up so if you still think your parents like your brother better, it might be time for you to put on your big girl panites and get over it.  (If you are still acting like a baby, see my previous comment).  Give your siblings kudos for growing up and changing.  Give your parents credit for doing the best job they could. You might be hotter but I have prettier nails.  Na na na na na na!
6. B Gr8 Txt Frnds.  On the surface, I agree with this. Texting is a quick method to communicate.  But I think you should really make an effort to share your time with your siblings.  Yes, that sometimes means talking on the phone.  Luckily my sister and I don't struggle with this.  Ask our husbands and they'll tell you how important it is to have a land line with unlimited long distance.  I'll call you when the kids are down for quiet time.  Unless I need you before then.
7. Quit being jealous of other people's sibling relationships.   Remember my post about chick-flicks not being real?  TV/Movie sibling relationships aren't real either.  So if your family doesn't get along like the Family Stone or the Cosbys, that's cool.  Love your family for who they are and for who you are when you're with them.  Our relationship puts the fun in dysfunctional but I wouldn't have it any other way!
8. Play nice with your brother's (not so nice) spouse.  It always pays to be the bigger person (repeat as necessary).  Go the distance and never give your in-law the opportunity to say you didn't love, didn't reach out, didn't share or didn't try.  Heap burning coals (and if you have no idea what I'm talking about, check here.)  Thanks for marrying Jeff.  With a body like that who needs hair?   
9. Get out of dodge. Okay to be honest, the idea of vacationing with my sibling, without our children, sounds dreamy.  Add in the husbands and kids and I say, no thanks.  (At least not for long trips). The November extravaganza is on but hopefully you understand if we skip the trip to Alaska!
10. Avoid hot-button topics (politics, religion, high fructose corn syrup).  In general families know who can handle what discussions.  Don't stir the pot if you want to stay close to your family.  On the other hand, don't be afraid to have important discussions about your relationships. If someone's words or actions are hurting someone else the worst thing you can do is walk on egg shells and pretend you're okay.  False peace is just that.  False.  I must caution you to approach the issue directly, in love, and Biblically (go directly to the person--remember no family moles!) Don't even get me started.

Randean and her hubbins Jeff.  By now you understand what I went through as a kid.  

Can I add two more? Of course I can.  It's my blog :)

1. Don't give up.  Sometimes sibling relationships are awesome.  Sometimes they suck.  Sometimes they make you wish that you were an only child (or that your spouse was an only child).  But FIGHT for your relationships.  They are worth every ounce of blood, sweat,  and tears you pour into them.  In the end, you end up with the people from your beginning.  Thanks for hangin' in there during the bad years.  All 20 of 'em.
2. Forgive.  If you are still hanging onto some hurt, forgive.  If you've hurt a family member with your words or actions, seek forgiveness.  Nothing destroys a relationship faster than someone who refuses to seek or accept forgiveness.  Remember that forgiveness breaks the cycle of isolation and retaliation.  I apologize for what I said that time we had a fight at The Outback.  

What do I think about sibling relationships?  They can be amazing and are worth the work!

Have a sibling relationship that could use some work?  E-mail me and when I say I'll pray for you, I mean it!

Have a sibling relationship that sustains you?  Tell me about it.  Today's comment line is yours to celebrate a sibling memory or moment.

Tuesday's Too Clean Tip--Dishwasher Trick

Don't ask me why but I have a love/hate relationship with my dishwasher.  I'm so grateful to have my little helper but I get increasingly cranky every time it needs to be unloaded.  Can't anyone create a dishwasher that washes and puts dishes away???

I stumbled across this trick a couple of years ago and it might not save a ton of time but it makes me happy!

So what do I do?  Each compartment of the silverware section only holds a certain piece of silverware.  One bin is for adult spoons, one for kid spoons, one for dinner knives, one for steak knives, one for forks, one for cooking spoons/spatulas and one for miscellaneous items.

Now when it comes time to unload, I grab a handful of silverware and they all go into the same drawer slot.  No more shifting and sorting.

My sister always laments that she'd love to do this but her family isn't on board.  Here's a little tip.  My family isn't totally on board either (Matt is but the kids don't quite get it).  So sometimes I'll get into the dishwasher and there is a kid spoon with a sharp knife.  No problem. I just re-arrange.  I'm convinced that it saves me time in the long run.

At least that's what the voices in my head keep telling me :)

Randeaner Beaner Weiner

For my family spiritual growth has been long and slow in coming.  It isn't that there hasn't been belief but that belief can sometimes decrease in hard times (Remember Jesus basically telling John the Baptist that He wasn't going to save him and then saying "blessed is he who does not fall away on account of me"?).  Sometimes it is hard to NOT fall away when things aren't going well--my family is living proof.

For whatever reason, in my family, God has made me a bit more firm in faith and to be honest, sometimes I've pretty much wanted to pull my hair out by the roots in frustration of my family's walking and waning.

When my mom was diagnosed with CADASIL in March of 2008, I sort of had a crisis of faith but it didn't have to do with my faith but rather my family's faith.  Is this making sense?  I guess what I am trying to say is that I feared that this disease would pull my family away from God rather than pushing them to Him.  What really stunk was knowing my only option was to "be the Bible" for my family and pray for them (though if you could make someone strengthen their faith by hog-tying and torturing them I might have tried it).

Mayo doctors gave my mom less than a year to live and here it is, two years later. God is good.  It is heart-breaking to watch my mom's mental capacities decrease and to see my dad and mom watch their dreams fade before their eyes.  But God is good.  My folks are struggling financially.  But God is good.  My mom won't live as long as we hoped she would.  But she's lived this far.  She has seen and knows and loves her grandchildren.  And either way, God is Good.

Here's the praise: This weekend, along with my sister and her husband, my mom was baptized.


So her illness sucks and I won't sugar coat that.  But CADASIL has re-ignited a passionate faith in Jesus in my family.  And if disease it what it takes--then so be it.  Right now I'm so faithfully inspired that the line from The Count of Monte Cristo keeps running through my head, "Gentlemen (satan), do your worst!"

Congratulations Randean, Jeff, and Mom!

What's Cooking 4/26-5/3

FYI---I'm away from my computer and am likely enjoying a great weekend with my sister.  Today, Sunday April 25, 2010 both my sister and her husband are getting baptized!

Hip Hip Hooray!

Anyhow, here's what we'll be dining on this week:

Monday (my last day of sadistics statistics!)--BBQ Chicken with steamed veggies
Tuesday--Lasagna with salad and crusty bread
Wednesday--Cheesy chicken with steamed broccoli and cauliflower
Thursday--Asian flank steak with onions, peppers, and rice
Friday--Dijon pork loin with red potatoes
Saturday--Red Enchiladas
Sunday--Baked chicken with mashed potatoes and steamed carrots

FYI--Matt ended up being out of town last week so prepare to see a re-do of last week's menu next week
:)

Days of Play--Hairy People

Rumor has it that it is spring time. Honestly, Wyoming hasn't gotten the message. *Sigh*

Anyhow, in honor of Earth Day we are making "hairy people." (Sorry to post this after Earth Day).

What you'll need:

• plastic or styrofoam cup
• rocks
• potting soil
• markers/stickers/googly eyes, etc.
• grass seed
• patience :)

What to do:

1. Give your child a cup to decorate like a person.
2. Put rocks in the bottom of the cup (for drainage) and put in potting soil.
3. Add grass seed to the top.
4. Place in a sunny spot.
5. Wait for your little person to grow grassy hair (and help your child resist the urge to water the plant three times a day).

Frugal Fashion Friday: Accessorize Your Wardrobe Basics

Real Simple has a great "Wardrobe Basics" check list that you can find here. Today I'm taking their list of basics, throwing in some accessories, and showing you outfits you can make with limited pieces.

So here are the basics:

More Gap...

Now I got some comments and e-mails last week from folks who said they have a hard time using accessories.

Trust me, if you are going to have a basic wardrobe (see above) then accessories will make your style.

If you are like me you don't want to spend $30 on a bracelet. That's why I encourage you to check out accessories from stores like Forever 21 and Charlotte Russe (heck, even Kohl's, Target, and Wal-Mart have some awesome pieces!). Here is a sample spread of what I think are minimum accessories:

More Forever 21...

The list of what I think are accessory basics:

• necklaces, bracelets, earrings in gold and silver
• a statement necklace, ring, or bracelet in a trendy color (trendy this year are turquoise, tomato, and dusty rose).
• a scarf (I chose white but a color would really be awesome!)
• a black bag and a neutral bag
• ballet flats in black, neutral, and bold
• a pair of sandals (you might want two--one black, one neutral)
• a pair of heels (ditto)

Okay, so if you take a basic wardrobe and mix it up with some basic accessories, here are 5 looks you can achieve (5? I know, I went a little crazy. This is like adult Barbie Doll stuff here!)

Outfit #1--All Dolled Up

Turtlenecks by J.Crew
Pumps by Forever 21

Outfit #2--A Casual Affair

Wide Leg Pants by Old Navy
Wedges by Old Navy

Outfit #3--Cool Chic

Longsleeve Tops by Gap
Flats by Forever 21

Outfit #4--Errand Running

Tees by Forever 21
Sandals by Gap

Outfit #5--Dinner with Friends

Button Front Tops by Charlotte Russe
Totes by Forever 21

Trust me when I say I had to FORCE myself to stop at 5.  Even the most basic wardrobe can be glammed up with a few accessories (and most of the jewelry I have posted is under $6!).

It really is amazing how a bold necklace can change the whole feel of a T-shirt and jeans.

What outfit is most "you"?

Things I Love--That's What She Said

Okay, I'm not a huge TV watcher but every now and then I get totally sucked into The Office.  I'd tell you the premise and point but I'm pretty sure there isn't one.

Anyhow, the main character Michael is always saying "that's what she said" to make seemingly innocent comments sexual and dirty.  For example, "How do you like your eggs?"  "I like them hard."  "That's what she said."

Scandalous.

For some reason Matt and I just latched onto this play on words game.  It is super out of character for both of us but for some reason we can't get enough that's what she said.  Really, we do it all the time that's what she said.  Well, not all the time.  We'd never do it in front of our kids that's what she said.

Have you had enough?  that's what she said

At some point and time we'll have to stop this nonsense but for now the little inside joke just makes me giggle and I love it!

So I pretty much have to share the best "that's what she said" EVER.

Over Thanksgiving we were in Nebraska at my mother and father-in-law's house.  My husband's younger brother, Josh (who loves The Office too), was home and we were playing a game of Oh Hell (man, this post is getting racy!  Sorry but that's what the game is called).

Here's a photo with Uncle and the Divine Miss M

 

Can I digress or what?

Back to Oh Hell.  We were on our last hand and Josh and I were basically neck and neck that's what she said.  Before we bet, Josh says, "So the only way I lose is if you get yours and I don't get mine?  THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"

Matt, Josh, and I were in a fit of hysterics.  Seriously, I blushed (and I never blushed) and the three of us were laughing so hard we were crying.  It was priceless (especially since I won the game!).

My poor mother and father in-law had no idea what was happening with their kids.  They totally heard the comment but I'm convinced unless you know the context of the comment, you won't get it.  For the time being, we've decided to keep them in the dark.

But if you hear people saying "that's what she said" and you don't watch The Office, now you know why people are doing it.

(Wait, this is getting really good.  Matt just asked what I was blogging about and I said, "That's what she said."  He said, "Really, you like that?  I though you were just doing it to make me happy" that's what she said.  To which I replied, "No, I love it!"  And he said?  "That's what she said").

What I Think About--Thank You Cards

When I was a kid, my parents made my sister and I write thank you notes for gifts.  When we went out to eat we were expected to say "please" and "thank you" to the people assisting us.  As horrifying as it sounds, we were even expected to say "thank you" to people at the grocery store, the gas station, or clients to our family business.

Were you raised with a similar value--the value of appreciating what others do for you and letting them know it by saying or writing "thank you"?

I know this seems like a petty post but I am actually disgusted shocked by how ungrateful people are. These days almost no one sends thank you cards for gifts or acts of service.  In fact, brides now send out mass-photo thank yous rather than writing notes (which makes me want to send a nice photo of the gift I would have bought them if I'd been a bit more thoughtful).

If you are like me you know someone (or many someones) who will not say thank you for anything.  If a gift is given, this person is under no obligation to call and say thank you, let alone write a nice card. Of course being pressed for time is a popular excuse for a lack of thank you decorum (if you'd like to read my diatribe on what I think about being "too busy" click here).

I think the popularity of ingratitude is upsetting--am I alone on this?

Now I know someone out there is going to read this and think, "if you are only giving a gift or service to receive a thank you then your heart is in the wrong spot."  I can't agree more.  And I don't give gifts because I want a thank you; however, I think it is pertinent to teach our children to be grateful and humble (Hebrews 12:28 "...let us be thankful...").  If we want to teach our kids this, it's probably important to do it ourselves.

My children are expected to "write" notes of thanks for gifts (M.E.'s thank you cards are always randomly folded paper with stuff glued to it but she puts serious effort into them!)  and to say thank you to people who help them. It isn't about appearing to have good manners, it's about teaching them to have an attitude of gratitude.

I truly want to cultivate in my children 
a spirit of gratitude.

Now I know that some people get bogged down when writing thank you notes but let's not make it more difficult (or time consuming) than it needs to be.  Here is a basic format:

1. Salutation  (Dear Grandma Sue,)
2. Mention the kindness (Thank you for the gift/party/service).
3. Mention how appropriate the gift was or how you plan to use it (Your meal was a life saver/We used the money to buy _____).
4. Use one line to up-date the recipient on your life (I start school again on May 7th or We had a great honeymoon). OPTIONAL
5. Signature (Many thanks, Sally).

Sample:

Dear Elizabeth,

Thank you so much for taking the time to pick out a necklace for my birthday; I look forward to wearing it to work.  You've always had great taste and I appreciate you thinking of me.  I'm heading out of town for a week but would love to meet you for lunch.  I will call soon.

Fondly,

Kara

Now, some thank you rules:

ALWAYS SEND A THANK YOU FOR:

• wedding gifts (within 3 months of the wedding)
• sympathy flowers and cards
• a party held in your honor (baby shower, engagement party, bridal shower)
• shower/party gifts (yes, this includes gifts from birthday parties)
• gifts received in the mail (this lets the sender know you got it)
• being a guest in someone's home for more than 1 night
• notes/gifts of congratulations
• an act of service (a friend who babysits your kids, etc.)
• gifts, cards, or flowers given for a hospital stay

CONSIDER SENDING A THANK YOU

• After being interviewed
• After being a dinner guest
• After receiving holiday gifts

THANK YOU NO-NOs

• Don't use mass thank yous; they are impersonal and lack appreciation.
• Don't take too long to send your thanks.  General rule of thumb is 1 week after the gift/service is received.  Exceptions being weddings (3 months) and gifts for a hospital stay (these should go out whenever the person is well enough to write them).
• Don't patronize someone by telling them you are "too busy" to say thank you.  People see through this and you won't be seen as being too busy; you'll be viewed as being self-important or ungrateful.  

PHONE CALLS

If you really can't dedicate a few minutes to write a thank you, at minimum call and say thank you (but not to an answering machine).  In my opinion, though, phone calls take a lot longer than writing a thank you card.

E-MAILS
Some people find e-mail thank yous a bit impersonal so take a bit of time to add a few more personal details if you take this route.

A good rule of thumb is this:
you can never be in the wrong for thanking someone so err on the side of being too thankful.

I bet you can guess what I think about Thank You cards--
Send them

P.S.  I had *another* question to Real Simple published.  You can find it on page 86 of your magazine or here.  I love how Etiquette Queen Julie ends her thoughts: "A personalized thank you note will tell the gift-giver everything she needs to know."

What are you thoughts on Thank Yous?  Do you send them?  Do you have your children send them?

Do you have someone in your life who won't say "thank you"?  How do you deal with it?

Are you opposed to sending thank yous? Why?

 I can handle your criticism.

Tuesday's Too Clean Tip--Organize your Bathroom

Okay, okay.  I'm an organization nut.  What can I say?

What I've learned, though, is that not everyone loves things quite as organized as I do.  Now I lucked out and my DH is mostly Type A and really likes stuff to be cleaned and organized.  But he's not quite as anal about it as I am.  So, despite my love to keep things organized, sometimes my most organized places start looking like this:

Okay, I can't blame this mess totally on Matt but he did inspire most of it!

Two Saturdays ago I decided to tackle my master bath closet.

Here's what I did:

1. Pulled everything out and put it into coordinating piles (jewelry, meds, lotions, etc).
2. Wiped down shelves and swept/mopped floor.
3. Went through bins and got rid of stuff.  If I don't need it, I toss it.
4. Minimize packaging from items bought in bulk.
5. Re-label bins.
6. Re-organize in the closet.  Some items found new homes (like Matt would prefer if I kept my feminine products under my sink).

This is a photo of my whittled down pile of first aid supplies, cold medicine, and prescription meds.

Here's the final product.

The space in the center is just waiting for me to roll towels and put them there!

Mother's Day Gift Ideas

Mother's Day is coming soon--May 9th to be exact.

At our house we go for an annual Mother's Day Hike but other than that, we don't really have any Mother's (or Father's) Day traditions.  I personally like to stay away from the Mother's Day "fun" that is spring cleaning and yard work.  Really, who decided working on this day is celebration?  If you want to celebrate mom by cleaning up, do it on May 8th.  Or May 10th.

Another thing about Mother's Day is who to buy for.  Do you just get something for your mom?  Your Mother-in-Law?  Your grandmas?  Sisters?  Friends?  It's all very confusing.  And expensive. What always happens to me is I have NO IDEA what to get anyone.  Hence, this post.

I've collected some ideas (bargain to splurge) of gifts for the moms around you.  Of course I've included ideas for my favorite gift--gifts of time!

Sisters or Friends
Bargain

• Buy packets of flower seeds and attach a small, handwritten note saying, "Happiness held is the seed.  Happiness shared is the flower."  John Harrigan
• Buy a bright summer shade of nail polish and attach a small note saying, "Paint a rainbow inside of you, paint a rainbow and let your smile shine through.  When it's cold and gray, push the clouds away, paint a rainbow in your heart,"
• Write a sweet and sincere note telling the "mom" what you love and value about her.

Splurge

• Send a bouquet of flowers with the same note.
• Give the nail polish and note above with a gift certificate for a manicure.

Gift of Time

• Give the seeds and note along with a certificate to plant a garden together.
• Go to your friend/sister's house with a bowl, a towel, lotion, and nail polish.  Wash her feet, give her a foot massage and paint her toenails.  Giggle while you do it!

Sentimental
Bargain

• Go to a photo site and create a collage of photos.  8x10 prints run around $4.  
• Make a mixed CD of music the mom would love (Josh Grobin and Celine Dion oughta do it--Matt if you are reading this and you make me a CD with either or those artists you will be judged most severely. Leave off anything by Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, Justin Beiber or Katy Perry, too!).  
• Make a plaster of paris handprint for each of your children's hands.

Splurge

• Get mom a Mother's Ring or mother and child necklace. 
• Make a blog book or a hard-bound photo album.  

Gifts of Time

• Take a walk down memory lane with mom.  Pull out old photos and letters and learn all about her (as someone whose mom has dementia, I can't push this one enough!)
• Host a tea party.  Invite mom over for mini-sandwiches and cakes and a cup of hot tea.  Children can help serve and can provide the entertainment by reciting cute verses or singing songs.

Fashionista
Bargain

• A new pair of sunglasses from Forever 21
• Reversible Vera Bradley belt
• A manicure set

Splurge

• A fashion consultation from The Good Life For Less
• A killer new bag
• A pair of wedge sandals for spring
• The Everlon love-knot right-hand ring I love :)

Gifts of Time

• Go shopping together to pick out a gift
• Go to Goodwill and do a style challenge.  Whoever puts together the most fashionable outfit for less wins (loser buys ice cream or cheesecake)
• Help mom clean out her closet to make room for a new season of clothes.

Supermom (who needs pampering)

Bargain

• A basket full of homemade body scrubs, body butters, and soaps
• Gift certificates for: back rub, laundry, grocery shopping, etc.
• Car wash and detail (water guns encouraged)

Splurge

• Hire a maid service for a month (or twelve)
• A day at the spa
• A night away at a hotel with room service

Gifts of time

• Give mom a copy of Don't Panic Dinner's in the Freezer.  Plan a Once a Month Cooking event and do it together.
• Give mom a home-based spa day complete with bubble bath, massage, pedicure and manicure.

The Homebody

Bargain

• Buy and play Farkle
• A new book with a sweet inscription (May I recommend Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers for the romantic, Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen for the fiction lover, and Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson for the non-fiction lover?).
• A new movie

Splurge

• A new reading chair (or other piece of furniture)
• A great new blanket to cuddle in

Gifts of Time

• Organize a family game night or movie night
• Do a mini-makeover of a room 

The Adventurer

Bargain

• A travel book
• A new piece of equipment for their favorite activity (think air pump for a biker or goggles for snorkeler)
• A first aid kit

Splurge

• An exciting day trip: white water rafting, hot air ballooning, Ferrari driving, etc.
• A vacation 

Gifts of Time

• Pack an outdoor picnic and go for a hike.  
• Spend some time recreating together--go for a walk, a bike ride, etc.

The Practical Mom

Bargain

• New stationary complete with stamps (if they still make those--ha ha!)
• Knee-high dress socks
• A bin full of birthday wrap, bags, and cards so she's never out!

Splurge

• A year subscription to Real Simple
• A great pair of comfortable shoes (think Dansko or Keen)
• A gift certificate to her favorite store for new jeans

Gifts of time

• Go shopping and put together emergency kits for the home or car
• Run errands together

The Nature Lover
Bargain

• A book of birds
• A home made bird feeder
• A gardening set: knee pad, hand shovel, and gloves

Splurge

• A bird bath
• A garden bench
• A chiminea or fire pit

Gifts of time

• Go on a bird watching expedition
• Make a s'mores kit (skewers, marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate bars all in one organized container) and have a camp-out complete with scary stories or sing-alongs

So did any gifts peak your interest?  
Did you get an idea of what you can give?
Should I leave you a fill in the blank so you can print this blog and leave it laying around where your husband can see it?


Dear Hubby,


This year for Mother's Day I'd really like ___________________________________________.


To family members who are reading this.  Sorry to ruin the surprise.  And if you steal these ideas, we'll keep it between the two of us!  Well, maybe not.

Blog Award--Honest Scrap

This past week Amy from Chapters of Me gave my blog an award.  Thanks, Amy.  For those who don't know Amy is a loyal WITMIM? fan who has an honest, inspirational, and informational blog that I can't get enough of.  And FYI--don't mess with her 'cuz she's a hot mom who's doing P90X (code for "she can outrun us and beat us up and look like a rock star doing it!).

As a recipient of this award I'm supposed to tell you 10 thing about me and then share 10 blogs I'd give this award to.  Here is goes.

1. I have an unhealthy obsession with in-grown hairs.  I'm not sure when this started or why.  My dad has a re-occurring in-grown hair that I dream of taking my tweezers to.  Sadly I'm not joking.
2. Everyone in my little family has a "presidential" name.  Reagan, Delano, Madisen, and Carter.  We planned it this way.  It's kinda like those families who name all their kids with the same letter (like my parents) but without the confusion.
3. I don't like ham or corn.  I will compulsively eat cereal any time of day.
4. I came home from my first day of kindergarten and told my parents I wanted to be a teacher like Miss Mueller.  Before having kids I was a middle school teacher.  Now I'm getting my doctorate in curriculum and instruction.  I won't make you call me "Doctor."  On second thought...
5. We stayed at a "fancy" hotel in London that was so small I could touch opposing walls by spreading out my arms.  And to make it better, I could literally sit on the potty to tinkle, shower, and brush my teeth in the sink all at the same time.  I was 6 months pregnant and I cried.  Now I can laugh at it.  
6. My friend Jina and I listened to "Insensitive" by Jan Arden 67 times during the summer of '96.  I can't remember WHY we did that now but it felt like a huge accomplishment then.
7. I owned 100 pairs of shoes when I graduated from high school. 
8. My husband taught me to wake-board by bribing me with jewelry (though I bought shoes instead. See #7).
9. Since I've known my husband I've had different tones of 3 hair colors (platinum blond to brown-black).  I can't actually remember what my natural hair color is.
10. For my 21st birthday Matt organized a HUGE cake food fight.  It was the best time ever.

Okay, so blogs I love that I'd give an award to:

Jilly Moos:  Two gals who have a fashion for passion--on a budget.  Love it!

Ain't She Crazy: Courage, conviction, inspiration, and honesty.  Your one "spur me on in my faith" stop!

Just Organize Yourself: Advice from a gal who makes me look like a hoarding mess. Go to her for your organization fix.

Mommy's Camera: I so want to be a better photographer (but with a point and click camera).  Jamie's got the skills to show me how. She can help you too!

The Munchkin and Little Miss: A newbie to blog land this gal is not afraid to make herself vulnerable on her quest to become a better mom, wife, and woman.  She's keepin' it real!

Threads of Beauty:  Another blog newbie who's tackling real issues for Christian women.

Frontier Kitchen: I know, I know.  I talk about this blog all the time.  But I do it for a reason.  Great food.  No casseroles.  That's perfection in a cooking blog if you ask me.

Things I Can't Say: I might not say it but Shell will.  And she'll make you laugh while she does it.  Don't get her started on "motherbitches" though (her word not mine!)

The Improbable Housewife:  Writing challenges, chick chat, giveaways, gift ideas ... she's got it all.

Naptime Notes:  Meandering thoughts on life, Christ, and motherhood.  Fresh and refreshing.  

Thanks again, Amy, for my blog award!

What's Cooking 4/19-4/25

So here's what we'll be dining on for din din at our house this week.  We are going out of town at the end of the week to spend some much needed time with my big sister!

Again, most of these meals come from my mass OAMC event.

Monday--Breakfast for dinner (I still have Monday classes so DH is cookin' tonight and he rocks breakfasts!)
Tuesday--Honey-Lime Chicken with lime-cilantro rice
Wednesday--shredded beef tacos with all the fixins
Thursday--Chicken marsala over whole wheat pasta and salad
Friday, Saturday, Sunday--Dining out!

Happy Dinners!

Days of Play--Shaving Cream Letters

I worked at a day care to put myself through college and this was hands-down one of the favorite activities for little kids.  Actually, now that I think of it, I did this with my middle schoolers too and they loved it.

This tactile experience can be used to practice letter writing, spelling words, vocab words (which is why I used it in my middle school classroom), shape drawing, etc.

All you need is a cover up shirt, flat surface and a can of shaving cream.

When I do this I use my whole kitchen table.  If you aren't quite as adventurous you can use a cookie sheet.

• Put on a cover up. (Really, don't skip this step).
• Put a dollop of shaving cream on the table.
• Allow your little on to spread it around.
• Now make letters (or shapes, or words, etc).  A, B, C ... 

To be honest, cleaning this up takes a few minutes but really isn't that bad.  And shaving cream *really* cleans your table!

For younger kids:
Do this same activity with chocolate pudding.

Frugal Fashion Friday

Welcome to the first installment of Frugal Fashion Friday (look for similar posts 1-2 times a month)!  Here I hope to share some bargain outfit ideas from stores that aren't bank breakers (Old Navy v. Saks 5th Avenue).

Can't buy the stuff new?  Look in your closet and see if you can duplicate ideas with what you already have OR hit second hand stores like Plato's Closet or Goodwill.

Before we get into this I had to share one of my outfits.  Remember when I talked about wearing colors (if not you can read it here) and I said you could wear primary colors?  Well here's an example!

Gap yellow striped henley-$9.99
Levi Jeans--$30.00
Royal blue bangle--$.25 at Goodwill
Blue charm necklace--$0 (a gift from Uruguay)
Red Mary Janes--$14.99 from TJ Maxx (but free to me because they were a gift from my mom).

I should mention that these jeans are 8 years old and when I bought them, they didn't have that "destroyed denim" look.  Years of wearing them gives them the destroyed flair!

I should also mention that the shoes are my "signature" wardrobe piece.  I wear them as often and with as many outfits as possible!

Okay, now for some outfit inspiration for you!

When I look in magazine at Spring gear I'm always reminded that the clothes are meant for places that have 70 degree spring weather (as opposed to WY's 50 degree spring weather).  That in mind, I created some outfits that have great layers OR use some awesome spring sweaters.

PARK DAY
The first idea combines a spring sweater, cargo capris, and gladiator sandals for a look that chic enough to wear to lunch with friends but causal enough to chase kids around in.

Crewnecks & Scoopnecks by Gap
Sandals by Gap

RAIN, RAIN, GO AWAY
This look throws together layers--a great classic T and a trendy cardi paired with your favorite jeans and rain boots looks pulled together and practical.

Longsleeve Tops by Charlotte Russe
Boots by Charlotte Russe

SIMPLE BRUNCH
A classic look for church and brunch afterwards. I know what you're thinking--"white pants?? I have kids!" If you can't commit to white, this will work with trouser jeans or even khaki pants. Is anyone else thrilled that gladiator sandals and gold jewelry are making a comeback?

Button Front Tops by Charlotte Russe
Sandals by Forever 21

Hope these outfits inspire you as you create your new spring wardrobe!

Do you have a "look" you'd like me to create for you?  Let me know.

(P.S.  I did two posts today so if you need a date idea, scroll down.  Body paint anyone?).

Date night In--Body Paint

When my sister and I were little girls we shared a bedroom (until we nearly killed one another and my parents decided they'd rather have two kids than one).  Sometimes at night we'd take turns drawing/tickling on each other's back and guess what was drawn.  This date is a new twist on an old game.

For this date, you'll make homemade edible body paint (in advance) and then take turns painting pictures/words on each other's backs.  When you are done "painting" lick off your artwork and switch.

You can make this a wager and see who gets the most pictures correctly.  You can also write action words (as suggestive as you want) and if your lover gets the word right, you have to do it! (For example, you could write kiss or hug or dance).

Ingredients

• 1 box instant vanilla pudding mix (you do need it white so you can add color but if you don't care about color then get any flavor you want!)
• 2 c. cold milk
• food coloring
• essential flavors (optional: coconut, almond, cherry, etc,)

Directions

1. Mix pudding with two cups of milk.
2. Put dollops of pudding into small bowls or glasses.
3. Add food coloring and flavoring as desired (think red/cherry, brown/coconut, yellow/lemon).
4. Refridgerate until ready to use.

P.S.  If you don't want to do this as a date you could make the paint with your kids :)

Things I Love--A Good Laugh and Deep Thoughts

Dear American Youth,

 When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up--what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... BOTH ways ... in the snow... Yadda, yadda, yadda 


And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way I was going to lay a bunch of junk like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!    


But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.  You've got it so easy!  I mean, compared to my childhood, they live in a Utopia!    


And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it! 

• When I was a kid we didn't have the Internet.  If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue.  Do you even know what the Dewey Decimal system is?   
• There was no email!  We had to actually write somebody a letter with a pen and paper.   Then we had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there!  
• Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us.  As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to spank me! Nowhere was safe! 
• There were no MP3's or Napsters!  If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself.  And if you wanted to buy just one song, too bad.  No ITunes.  We had to buy whole albums just for one song. 
• Or we had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and mess it all up!  There were no CD players!  We had tape decks in our car.  We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished.  Sometimes the tape would come undone.
• We didn't have Call Waiting.  If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal.  No kidding. And we didn't have Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was.  It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know.  You had to pick it up and take your chances.
• There weren't any cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends!"  Think of the horror.  Instead of texting, we passed notes.
• We didn't have Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics.  We had the Atari 2600 with games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'.  Our guy was a little square.  We actually had to use our imaginations!  And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... FOREVER!  And you could never win.  The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died!  Just like LIFE! 
• You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on. Channel surfing?  Forget it.  Every time we wanted to change the channel we had to get out of our seats.  Really.  There were NO remotes. 
• There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning.  Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons!

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled.  You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes prior to 1980.

Regards,
The Over 30 Crowd  

Okay, that's good for a laugh but then I got to thinking about all the ways I had it BETTER than kids do today.

• Cell phones mean that parents can keep dibs on their kids all the time.  And talk about a carrot and stick approach to parenting (if you don't shape up I'll take away your phone!).  My folks had to be a lot more creative!
• Sexual predators had to do a lot more than contact me on a social networking site.
• My parents never had to worry that I'd see full-frontal nudity or hear cuss words on regular TV programming.
• The United States had never been attacked on our homeland in my teen lifetime.

So while it is true kids might have some things easier--do they have more trials than we do?

What's your vote?  Who has/had it easier--them (under 30) or us (over 30s)?  Specific examples encouraged!

What I think about--Chick Flicks as Emotional Porn

A few weeks ago I organized my DVD collection (you can read about it here) and noticed how extensive my Rom-Com selection was.  I’m pretty sure I own every movie inspired by an Austen novel or with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in it.  Don’t even get me started on Hugh Grant and Sandra Bullock.

Luckily for me, I married a man who loves chick-flicks as much as I do.  (To be fair I should mention my absolute love of sports shows, war movies and action shows.  I practically forced Matt to take me to Gladiator 3 times, I’ve seen the Italian Job so many times that I consider myself an expert Mini-Cooper driver despite never having been in one, and I still get goose bumps from Rudy, Invincible, Hoosiers, Remember the Titans …).  We’re movie compatible—for the most part.

Matt and I parted movie ways when Twilight came out.  And this is when I started to notice a slightly unhealthy obsession with women (not tweens—grown, married women). 

I’ve already shared my thoughts on Edward but as I think more critically, I wonder if there is something wrong with the female consumption of chick-flicks. 

Are chick flicks emotional porn?

When I started looking into this topic, I ran across the article “You’ve Got Lies” by Beth Spraul.  In her article, Spraul asserts that as pornography appeals to men’s visual instincts and creates a false ideal of the female body and interest in sex, chick flicks create a false emotional ideal of the role of men in romance and marriage. Through chick-flicks, Spraul contends that women learn to believe these lies:

• Men and women view emotional and relational intimacy in the same way.
• Marrying the right man will make everything perfect in my life.
• I’ll know he’s the “right” man by the feelings I have when I’m around him.

By accepting these lies as truth, many women compare men to fictional heartthrobs and disregard important qualities like faith, character, and humility because of physical attraction or “chemistry.” (P.S.  I hated chemistry).

I’ll admit that I’ve bought the “lies” in the past.  I’ve been swept up in “feelings” that weren’t ok and have placed super unhealthy expectations on males in relationships.  But now, I think I’m healthy enough to know that life with Matt isn’t perfect. He’s going to make me mad and offend me and not defend me when I need him to.  Only God is my all in all.  And trust me, after being around Matt for nearly 11 years, I’ve pretty much caught on to the fact that we view romance and intimacy in vastly different ways (and I didn’t even need to read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus).

Are women are being subtly attacked?  Are the emotional lies told in chick-flicks less harmful than the lies portrayed in pornography?  Spraul states, “Like pornography, chick-flicks take a good gift from God (romance, relational intimacy) that women are created to desire, and distort it by presenting as “normal” an unbiblical and unrealistic picture of men, love and marriage. And just like men who buy into the lies of pornography, women who believe that their husbands and marriages should always be like what they see on the screen will be sinfully dissatisfied with God’s good gift to them of a “normal” husband and marriage.”

Um, WOW.

I have to admit I struggle with this because I believe pornography actually IS sinful whereas I think chick-flicks can be viewed without sin.   

Suffice it to say, I don’t know what I think about Chick Flicks though research has encouraged me to be a more conscious consumer for the sake of my marriage and Mr. Darcy Matt.

I’d love to know your thoughts (since mine are so scattered)!  Are chick flicks emotional porn?  


The comment line is open!

Days of Play--Shake to Make Ice Cream

I'd probably fall apart without the love and support of my mom's play date group!  At one recent event, Sarah from Frontier Kitchen had a gaggle of us over to make ice cream using:
milk
half and half
sugar
rock salt
baggies

This takes no time at all and was super fun for all involved!  I highly recommend you go here and get directions to make ice cream with your kiddos!  This is a great way to get past the Monday Blahs.

What's Cooking 4/12-4/18

I did a bit OAMC session so here's what we are having!

Monday--Spicy Honey Chicken and grilled asparagus
Tuesday--Lemony-Dill Salmon and wilted spinach salad
Wednesday--Chicken manicotti and salad
Thursday--Italian marinaded steaks and steamed red potatoes
Friday--Honey pepper pork loin with harvest stuffing
Saturday--Quiche, salad and crusty bread
Sunday--Autumn pot roast with sweet potatoes