Things I Love: A quick cleaning tool

Here's a gripe.

I can't stand Swiffers.  I don't like Swiffer Sweepers.  I don't like the little Swiffer duster thingy.  I just don't like Swiffer stuff.

Here's why: They do the exact same thing a can of Pledge, a rag, and a mop with water can do BUT they produce so much more landfill waste.  They drive me crazy.

But I have a problem and he is 2.  This two year old regularly makes my wood floors look like a sticky tie-dye shirt.  Don't laugh; it's true.  By lunch time it's not uncommon to have yogurt, mandarin orange juice, granulated Jell-O (don't ask), and pet hair gobbed onto my floor.

So I lug out the bucket and the water and mop.  Not a great process to do a couple of times a day but I don't want to take the less-green Swiffer short cut.  So I don't.

When I was staying with my sister she introduced me to the Rubbermaid Reveal {swoon}.  It's a green version of a Swiffer.  Put a little white vinegar and water in the dispenser, squirt, and run the mop head over the goo.  Goo gone.  YAY!

Even better, when the mop head gets icky, simply throw it in the laundry.  No more landfill fill!

Now I won't lie, this sucker isn't good for deep cleaning. You are still going to need to actually mop or do a hands-n-knees floor scrubbing every now and then BUT with the Rubbermaid Reveal, there's no need to break out the mop 2 times a day.  Winning!

What I Think About: Forgiving Yourself

Watch this video. Read the lyrics.



Have you ever just messed up?  I mean ROYALLY messed up?  The kind of messed up that will bring you to tears in thirty years when you think about it?  The kind of messed up that makes you seriously contemplate enrolling in science courses in hopes of inventing a time machine?  The kind of messed up that hurt someone? The kind of messed up that leaves you feeling totally broken?

I really messed up.  When I called my sister to confess she loved and supported me.  She said, "There is nothing you can do that can make me not love you.  Of course, I'm related by blood so that covers it."

To which I replied the most faithless words I've ever spoken: "Blood doesn't cover everything."

The second I said it I audibly gasped.  I was horrified that I said it.  I was more horrified that in many ways, I believed it about myself.  Deep inside of me an aching mistake made me believe that there are some sins that blood doesn't cover.

I know this is NOT true but have you ever stood in that place where you just FELT that it was true?  That you were standing in a shadow that the Son couldn't redeem.

If you have been there, tell me how and when do you forgive yourself?  I mean, forgiveness (even self-forgiveness) is key to grace and mercy.  But is there a time period where you should "feel" the effects of your sin?  How long should you mourn your actions before you seek to forgive them?  Off the cuff it feels like the answer is "you shouldn't drag yourself through the mud" but right now it just feels like the person I've hurt deserves to see me struggle and mourn over my wrongdoing.  Not because such lamentations will change the deed but because it will help that person know that I really feel the affects of my actions.  That I feel the pain.  That I am sorry.  Gut-wrenchingly sorry.

So when do you forgive yourself?

And of course the bigger issues is how?

I know I will never forget this incident.  I will play and re-play it in some small fashion (even if it is just a, "how could I be so stupid?!) several times a year.  How can I use this circumstance to remind me of all the ways that I need Jesus without consistently asking, begging, pleading for mercies I've already been given?  How can I use this to spur me on in a way that makes me a better person but helps the one I've hurt know that I haven't just forgotten and moved on?

Where is the balance between the burden of regret over sins committed and the mercy of peace from blood that cleanses?

What I think is that I need to learn to forgive myself.  Your wisdom is greatly appreciated.  Your prayers more so.

Thank you to Shell for letting me Pour My Heart Out every Wednesday

Days of Play: Pour Painting

Have I mentioned that I love Pinterest?  Well I do.  Here's another craft idea I found from stalking other people's boards.

Pour Painting.

Photo from Housing a Forest

This is such a fast and unique art project.  To make this you will need a drop cloth, old plastic table cloth, newspapers ... do you get what I'm not saying here?  It's gonna be a fun mess.  Prepare.

You'll also need some cheap paint (bright house paint?) and matting board (DO NOT use regular paper here).

To make this you essentially have your kids lay down drops of color on the matting.  Then pick up the matting and move it this way and that until the desired movement of art is complete.  Let dry at least over night.

For more details and photo instructions, head to Housing A Forest <---Yes, that's a link you can click

Have some messy fun painting with your kiddos!

Music Monday: Foster The People

Two words for you.

Indie.

Pop.

I love Foster the People, an American Indie pop band.  They have these songs that remind me of summer.  And recently I've heard radio stations in my area playing this song:

Pumped Up Kicks



And Helena Beat is also pretty awesome (I can't say the same thing about the video!)

Fall Colors: TEAL

Every season seems to have a few "hot" colors.  This fall I'm so happy teal is among them.  I kinda LOVE jewel toned colors and teal is my favorite. Maybe I'm channeling the early 90s.  I can't be sure.

Anyhoo, for fall, add a tiny splash of teal to your wardrobe with a cute bag, functional scarf, bold top, or statement jewelry piece.

Teal with mustard

Shortsleeve Tops by Bailey 44
Satchels by Coccinelle

Teal with neutrals

Cardigans by Old Navy
Boots by Ciao Bella

Teal accessories (because small pops of color make a BIG statement)

Pumps by Wild Diva
Satchels by Merona

Things I Love: Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks

I am not a coffee drinker though I will admit to having more than my fair share of coffee during my mom's whole ordeal.  A girl's gotta stay awake, after all.

There is a caveat to this rule.

Pumpkin. Spice. Latte.

That's right.  The time of year when Starbucks rolls out that pumpkin flavor and offers 380 calorie hot drinks I go nuts.  I love them.  Love love lovey love 'em.  Some days when I know I'm going to get one, I like to wear an outfit that naturally looks good with my hot drink.

I'm considering counseling for this.

Oh, you thought I was kidding. Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt.

So, hey--go get a pumpkin spice latte and maybe pray for me :)

What I Think About: When People Say Stupid Stuff

Guess what?

On Facebook I have no filter.  I say exactly what I want to say when I want to say it.  I know, I know.  You're shocked.  Or maybe not.

Anyhow, on Saturday I'm texting with my old college roomie Ami, the one I had the traumatic coffee ice cream making experience with, and we were chatting about the stupid things people say when you are grieving.

You've heard it.

"It's part of God's plan."

"It must be God's will."

"Everything happens for a reason."

"She's in a better place now."

"Let go and let God."

I've heard it.  A lot actually. Because when you are grieving people want to help but don't know how.  So they say something trite and you are supposed to smile and agree when what you really want them to know is that comment just cut you to your freaking core and they've just heaped more pain and burden onto your shoulders than you know how to bear.

So I posted this on facebook:

Life Lesson #122: If you can't support someone who is grieving without talking about "God's will/plan," "God's timing,"  or "Let go and let God" then you shouldn't say ANYTHING.  It's true that people who mean well don't verbalize well.  It's equally true that people who are mourning aren't inspired by your trite responses.  Be wise; be quiet.

To be honest I expected a bit of backlash but you know what I got?  SUPPORT.  A ton of it!  Everyone around me who has experienced loss knew EXACTLY where I was coming from.  It wasn't just me struggling in faith--it was fellow Christians.  A pastor.  People every where saying that in loss it's okay to be hurt.  It's okay to question.  It's okay to want that person on earth and not in heaven.

Funny how one crazy Facebook status can let you know that people really do understand.

As I reflect on what has meant the most to me during this time of loss I know it is the friends who don't treat me differently--who let me talk when I want but don't force the issue.  It's been the meals and childcare.  But the single thing that touched me the most was the beautiful card my friend Carla gave me.  It was blank inside.  She had no words for me.  And that blank card brought me more comfort than she might ever know.

What I think is that when someone is hurting and you want to help, be quiet.  Offer a hand to hold.  A shoulder to cry on.  A meal.  A blank card.  But whatever you do, be quiet.  It'll speak volumes.

Thanks, Shell for letting me Pour My Heart out with you!

Days of Play: Mod Podge Hand Trees

Things I'm obsessed with:
1.  Mod Podge
2.  Fall
3.  Artwork
4.  Handprints.

Things I love?

THIS activity because it combines the aforementioned 4 obsessions.  YAY!

I found this activity on pinterest and then went to the blog At Second Street for directions because it was, well, love at first sight.

Photo from At Second Street

Yes that's right.  Those are handprint trees made from fabric.

In general this will take a bit more time than the normal "days of play" activities I post.  BUT it will be a life-long heirloom documenting the size of your children's hands.  And it's art.  And it's beautiful.  And you get to play with Mod Podge.

Convinced?  Click a blue link.  Go.  Get directions.  Create.  Reminisce.  Make a Christmas gift Grandma's will cry at.

Music Monday: Dashboard Confessional

Okay, so Dashboard Confessional is an American rock band from Florida that I first heard in about 2004 when they did a song for the second Spiderman movie.  A lot of die-hard fans charged the band with selling out for a movie soundtrack (isn't that always the way?) but since I wasn't a long time fan (at that time) I loved them.

And still do.

Every now and then I want a "hard" ballad (a la Guns-n-Roses circa 1992) and this band fits that need.

Vindicated (the Spidey sell out song that started my love affair with the band)



Stolen (a good song if anyone has stolen your heart)

Fashion Friday: Scarf Obsession

As we move into the fall fashion scene, there are lots of changes and lots of stuff not changing.

Changing--Military is out; preppy-chic is in.  Snake print is the new leopard.  Hot colors are teal, orange, and mustard (more on this later).

Staying: fur vests, scarves, boots, and bold color.

I for one LOVE the fall colors and I'm sooooo happy scarves will be staying with us for the season.  Here's how to work a scarf into your causal, go to the farmer's market gear and into a day at work outfit.

Casual Gear with Scarf

Camisoles at Target
Sandals at DSW

Work Day with Scarf

Black Dresses by Ann Taylor
Boots by Urban Outfitters

Printed. Fur. Infinity. Knit. Silk. Scarves are so hot right now (and so versatile so add one or ten to your wardrobe)

Scarves & Wraps at Nordstrom
Scarves & Wraps by ALICE by Temperley

Things I Love: SoundHound

SoundHound is an app for iPhones and Androids that instantly tells you the title and artist of song you are listening to and even the lyrics that match.

Really, you open the app, click "tap here" and the app listens to the song, and then within 30 seconds tells you who the artist is.  It's amazing.  I use it all the time.

I love SoundHound!

What I Think About: Serving and Being Served

I've just read-again-the story of Jesus washing His disciples' feet (John 13:1-17).  I always read this story as a "how to be a good Christian" manifesto.

Serve.  Serve willingly.  Serve humbly.  Serve joyfully.  Serve others as unto the Lord.

Surely this passage demonstrates the hearts of service we are to cultivate.  This morning, however, I thought about this passage from another angle: the disciple being served.

Simon Peter balks at Jesus washing his feet.  He simply can't stand to see Jesus doing the work that society deems to be the work of lowly slaves.

This is me.  I'm Simon Peter.  The reasons for my refusal to let the savior cleanse me are multi-faceted.
I don't want him to see how dirty my feet are.  I don't what him to touch my filth.  I am ashamed I've not kept my feet cleaner.  I'm afraid he'll be disgusted.  Angry.  Unable or unwilling to clean me.

And maybe it is more than that.  Maybe I'm too proud to admit I need my feet cleaned.  Maybe I like the dirt and wear it as a badge.  Maybe I believe that I won't be as happy or fulfilled if I am clean.  Maybe I'm simply too stubborn and too hard-hearted to let him serve me.

I'm that girl--always willing to help but never willing to accept help even when I really need it. Always scolding others for not reaching out but never reaching out.  Saying "things are going well" and "I'm okay" and "I've got it taken care of" when my world is falling apart and I am breaking into a million pieces and everything is in chaos.

I won't accept the service.  I won't accept the help.  I'll say, "no thank you.  I'll clean my feet myself" to my friends, my family, and my God.

Why is it so hard to simply be real and to admit that I'm not okay and things aren't okay and I need someone to care for me--to refresh my tired soles (soul)?  I get so caught up in the wash, wash, wash, serve, serve, serve mentality that I've totally missed it.

There is a blessing that comes along with allowing yourself to be vulnerable and with allowing yourself to BE served.  It is humbling to be served.  It can be shameful to ask for help but what friend really begrudges such a request?  It is hard to say "this is who I am and this is where I am.  Dirty.  Broken.  A complete mess!"  And yet Jesus accepts that--prefers it even to our facades.

How much more would the Kingdom advance if we got past the feel good service level tot he messy, ugly, shredded "please help me because I can't do this alone" level?

We are the body.  It is a beautiful thing letting willing hands tend tired feet for when both are properly used and refreshed, we are more able to fulfill the calling.

It's about serving--this faith. This life.

But it's about being real and humbling ourselves enough to be served.

Days of Play: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

As a mom I assume you've read this book. If not, head to Amazon and get it immediately; it's so much fun!

Photo from Amazon

Today, sit down with your kiddos and read this silly book and then do a few "Mouse" inspired activities.

First of all, make chocolate chip cookies.  YUM!

Then sing "who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?"

Finally, play a game of "hot cookie"--like hot potato but with a cookie.

Simple, silly fun for everyone.  Plus, did I mention you get to make and eat cookies?  Winning!

Music Monday--The Ineloquent

They haven't heard of you either.

The Ineloquent is a Christian band formed by a husband and wife in Iowa. They have since relocated to Denver (can you tell I love Denver bands?).  Their sound is unique--inspiring.  I listen to them when I need to both chill out and be re-invigorated.

Here's a little promo video introducing the band.



Give 'em a listen and then head to Facebook and "like" 'em, follow them on Twitter, or make a new Pandora station based off of the "Ineloquent" because even though you might not have heard of them, and they have not heard of you, lots of people are digging their sound.

The Question



My Heart Still Wears Your Name

What I Think About: Waterproof Mascara

Yesterday I woke at 5:30 and started my routine of getting ready for work.

I washed my face, applied moisturizer, foundation, eyeliner, eyeshadow, blush ... I reached into my makeup bag for the last step in war paint application: mascara.  I grabbed the purple tube of mascara, unscrewed the lid and had the wand centimeters from my eyelashes when I realized what I was doing.

This wasn't waterproof mascara.  This was REAL mascara--the kind that would run down my face and make me look like Alice Cooper if my eyes so much as even thought about getting teary.

It hit me.  My mom is gone and I am broken and no matter how much I'd like to be strong and carry on, I'm just not there yet.  It has only been a week and I feel like it should be getting easier but somehow it's more suffocating, this sorrow.  I know no one expects me to pretend that everything is okay but no one exactly wants to be around someone perpetually blue, either.

I look at the mascara wand and I'm utterly in shock.  Will I need a reminder every morning that something is missing--that a part of me is missing?  Will it ever get easier?  Am I doomed to never again use this purple tube of mascara?

Sighing I put the wand back in the tube and tucked the mascara away for another day.  A day when I can think of her without my eyes welling with tears.  A day when I'm with people who are safe to cry in front of--who don't care if I cry so hard I look like a member of Kiss or that my nose runs profusely.

Today is not that day.  I pull out the orange tube of waterproof mascara and apply the thick goop to my eyes.  Now I can cry silently.  Alone.  And people won't know unless they know me too well or look too closely.

Waterproof mascara: a reminder that no matter how surrounded by love and support I am--I simply can't share the burden of this loss with anyone.

Music Monday: Mazzy Star

Mazzy Star is the late 80's early 90's alternative band from California known for haunting melodies and pierce your heart lyrics.

Overall they haven't achieved world-wide success but darn it, I just love them.

They are most famous for their song Fade Into You (which sounds precisely like the kind of song made for long kisses on cloudy days).

Give her a listen:



I also love 5 String Serenade

Things I Love: All Things Gummy

Confession: I totally love ANYTHING Gummy.

Gummy Bears.

                              Sour Straws.

                                                          Peachy Rings.

                                                                                                Hot Tamales.

If it's gummy, I love it.  Except for gum, which is odd.  I mean I like gum but I don't love gum.  Phew.  Sorry for that.

If you don't already think I'm nuts then I'll confess to one more thing.  I like to bite the heads off gummy bears and put them on another gummy body.  See that picture.  Imagine I bite the orange bear's head off and put it on the green bear's body.  Lovely mental image, isn't it?

I'm going to stop now you know, before you unfriend me and get a restraining order.

What I Think About: Having Nothing To Say

My mom died Sunday night.

It was scary.  It was beautiful.  It was heartbreaking.  It was relief.  It made me angry. It made me sad.  It made me feel numb.  It made me feel broken.

It left me with nothing to say.

Sometimes it's okay to pour your heart out.  Other times, it's okay to have nothing to say.

I read once that silence tells as much of a story as the words.  Please hear what I'm not saying.

Days of Play: First Day of School

My eldest child is starting kindergarden TODAY.

Excuse me while I break into tears and pour a glass of wine (that's okay at 9:30 a.m. this one day only, right?).

The only thing I wanna do now is memorialize this moment--like with a handprint.

Here are some ideas:

Palm Apple

To make this, you get a piece of white paper and red paint.  Paint just the PALM of your kiddo's hand and put it on the paper.  Add the stem and leaf.  Wa La--first day of school print.

Of course you could make the classic apple tree.  I think just looking at this photo is description enough.

I guess plan C is to refuse to send your child to school.  {Sigh} Fine.  I'll stick with the apple prints.

(In other fun news today is my parent's wedding anniversary AND my brother-in-law's birthday!)

Music Monday: The Northern Way

Welcome to my new musical addiction: The Northern Way.

The Northern Way is an unsigned band from Denver, Colorado.  They have a rock/pop sound that isn't always my favorite but I kinda love 'em. They are sort of a Fray sound with John Mayer soul. Give it a listen. If you don't like them, leave me a nasty comment.

Crazy



The One



Throwing Rocks



Love 'em and wanna know more? Click THIS LINK