Wednesday, June 13, 2012

What I Think About: Passwords

On Monday Matt and I were at the VA with my dad waiting for his minor surgery and we had to listen to some awful talk show with several female hosts (Darlene from Roseanne? Molly Ringwald?  What is going on with daytime TV?).  Anyhow the question they were discussing was "do you check up on your partner's web use?

ALL of the ladies admitted checking their partners' facebook/twitter posts, etc.  However, they made a big deal that they do not check e-mails or ever log onto their partners' accounts.  In fact, they stated they do not share passwords because if you are checking on your partner then the relationship has "bigger problems."  One woman even said, "If you go lookin' for trouble, you'll find it.  I'm not going looking."

Well, this discussion took place in two minutes and obviously killed half my brain cells but it did get me thinking---should we share our e-mail/social networking passwords with our partners?

On one hand, I think no.  Relationships are built on trust and if you ask for my passwords, I'll think you don't trust me.

On the other hand, if I have nothing to hide, why would it bother me?  Relationships are also built on accountability and who better to keep you accountable than your partner?

Just being totally upfront here, I know Matt's passwords and he knows mine.  I do NOT get on any of his sites or accounts because I'm checking up on him.  I have, however, on occasion gotten on to retrieve an e-mail receipt or to find something for him.  I trust Matt but I also feel secure knowing that he is trusting enough of me to be accountable with his sites.  And vice versa.

I guess for us, passwords are like fire extinguishers.  We keep them in the house but don't use them unless there's an emergency.

What I think about passwords is that sharing them helps promote trust and accountability.

What do you think?  Do you share your passwords with your partner?  Why or why not?

 Thanks, Shell for letting me Pour My Heart Out on your blog.


  1. We know all each others passwords. Actually gave them to each other when we were engaged. And we both totally read each others text messages; just for fun though, not because of trust issues. I don't read his email because of confidential work stuff but he occasionally reads mine - which is usually pretty boring because I barely use it. :)

    Honestly, I think when you're married it's a bit weird and unhealthy to keep things from each other. Kinda shows trust issues in a different way.

  2. We share passwords. I know he wouldn't use them unless he needed to, but at the same time, I don't really care if he does!

  3. We share passwords, but mostly because we need each others help remembering them should we ever need to use a different computer.

    (found you through PYHO)

  4. My husband and I know eachother's passwords, but I've never checked his email. I trust him and he's never done anything to make me loose that trust.

    Over from PYHO

  5. Yes. My husband and I share our passwords with each other. I think it builds trust, but I've never had occasion to use any of his passwords except his e-mail and that was at his request.

    Great question.

  6. I do not. I think that's weird. Just because you want privacy doesn't mean you have something to hide. It's like the idea that we can have wiretaps and it won't matter if you don't have something to hide. People should have boundaries, even within relationships, just like citizens have the right to privacy. Great topic though! :) PYHO

  7. I dont know my boyfriend's and he doesn't know mine. While I would trust him to have my password, and I have nothing to hide from him, some of my internet things I just like to have private. Its never big bad things, just little embarrassing things like how much I gossip with my friends, or me venting about him to them or even me gushing about him.

  8. I know my husband's passwords, but I don't use them for anything. I've shared some of mine with him, but he doesn't know them b/c he has a terrible memory. LOL But I'm not doing anything in any account that I would have to hide from him. That's my benchmark for things- if I'd have to hide it from him, it's not the right thing to do.


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