Wednesday, March 21, 2012

What I Think About: Men as Children

Refereed to my husband as a baby when he gets a man-cold?  Guilty.

Yes that is right, I've made silly snide comments about how needy my hubby gets when he is sick.  But that is the extent of me comparing my husband to a child.

Honestly, I get super irritated when I hear women compare their men to their children.  How devaluing is that?!?!  Seriously, just because your husband leaves his pants on the bedroom floor, and has to be reminded to make the bed, and has a messy closet does NOT mean your husband is childlike.  In fact, it likely means he has a lot of other "adult" thoughts and stresses on his mind to really care about something petty--like whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.  (FYI--OVER!)

Now we all know I'm in favor of married couples dating and I've gushed enough that I'm certain you know how much I LOVE The Dating Divas.  However, last week they had a "marriage builder" idea that just left a bad taste in my mouth.

Called "The Sure Wife Chart," the purpose is to "reward" one's husband every time his wife asked him to do a chore and he said "sure" (and then did it).

Photo property of The Dating Divas

In general, I'm not a fan of reward based systems like this anyway but this one left me particularly perplexed.  I do NOT want to treat my husband like a child or feel that I have to use "carrots" to coerce him into helping with chores.

There's a good chance that this is just a sensitive subject with me but I simply would NOT use this chart.  Of course it could be used in a sexy way--like every time he got to the smiley face he'd earn a sexual favor but still, I don't like the message.  I have to manipulate you to help?  No thank you.

What I think is that if my husband used this for me, I'd be hurt and offended.  The Dating Divas have great ideas on strengthening marriages but this is not one of them!

Would you use this with your spouse?

 I love participating in Shell's PYHO on Wednesdays!



  1. I totally agree! I saw the same post and knew that it was something that would not work with my husband. My husband knows that sometimes I need help around the house or extra projects done that require his skill set, but I also know he would appreciate simply being asked to help and the reward is doing it together.

  2. I completely agree. It just feeds into the stereotype that the wives do all the housework and have to nag or coerce their husband in order for them to do anything. Untrue and hurtful!

  3. Ugh, they actually told women to do this?? I would be soo offended if my husband did that to me. I would never do it to my husband. That's a great way to make him feel like crap!!.. and like you, I don't want to have to bribe my husband to help. I save the bribery for my children!

  4. No I would not! Not in a million years. My husband is my partner not a "child" who has chores. You're going to help me because you love me and because you respect me, not for a smiley face.

  5. If my husband did something like that with me, I'd be so insulted. So hurt.


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