Wednesday, February 1, 2012

What I Think About: Facebook

Ah Facebook.  I love hating you.  Or maybe I hate loving you.  It's so hard to tell.

Watch this.  It's important.  And it's from Easy A--a movie I big fat love!

I took a Facebook break during the season of Advent and it was amazing.  I never knew I would miss Facebook so little. On the other hand, once I joined and stalked all my friends' pages, I realized how much I missed.  What's a girl to do?

Real Simple did a whole spread on Facebook in their  January 2012 issue.  It was great to see all the reasons why people hate Facebook.  And yet, we're still logging in.  As for me, I'm still logging in because it keeps me connected to a community of people I actually talk to; I don't want to miss out on that.  But I'm also logging in less because, as luck would have it, I can talk to these people on my iPhone and e-mail without all the irritating updates.

As a point of comedic relief, here are the top 10 updates I hate seeing on Facebook (which is precisely why I log in less):

1.  The "I'm digging for you to ask me about it" bragging update.

**I just got the best present!
**Test driving a new car!

This update can also read like like: 

The "I'm digging for you to ask me about it" sympathy update.

**Could this day get any worse?
**Life sucks!

2.  The "I will shove my religion down your throat" update.
** I just finished day 12 of the How to Parent a Christian child book and I feel so bad that all the rest of your children are going to hell.  But for mine, I'm going to discipline them and support their decisions.
**Don't pray in my school and I won't think in your church.

3.  The "Clearly Facebook is my agenda book so I will write my to do list on here so every one knows how busy and important I am" update.

**Today I'm going to eat breakfast, workout, read the newspaper, drive to Denver, eat at Old Chicago's, and buy a blue shirt."

**First I'm going to work out then I'll pick up the dry cleaning, and then I'll go tanning.

4.  The "Facebook users must know what I'm eating" update

**Tonight I'm making crescent rolled hot dogs with orange jello for dinner.
**Going out to Chili's for nachos!  Boom!

This is more irritating when it's a normal meal.  If you are making Scallops Saint Jaques, brag.  Hot dogs--keep it to yourself!).  Oh, and pictures of food?  Seriously, if you aren't a food blogger WE DON'T CARE!

5.  The "If you aren't in my political party you are clearly an idiot" update.

**Michelle Bachman is a witch!
**Don't bitch to me about the President.  I voted for the American.

6.  The "I know this is painfully obvious but I'm going to say it anyway" update.

**It is so cold outside!
**The Broncos won!  The Broncos won!

Thanks for the update folks but I have windows to see the weather and sports center to check scores.  Move on.

7.  The "I'm not clever enough to come up with my own status so I'll use a status update tool or post a photo with some lame, misspelled quotation on it" update

**Reagan is poking you with a spork.

This is funny.  That does NOT make it a status update.  The end.
Source: via Reagan on Pinterest

9. The habitual "Oh dear God I am so in love with this man" update. 

(NOTE: complimenting your spouse or saying "I love you" every now and then is cute.  Doing it daily is irritating.  Use walls for that--not status updates.)

**My husband is the most magnificent man in the world!  I love him with all the lovely lovey loveness that I have!  And his arse ain't bad either.
**My beautiful bride brought me powdered donuts in bed.  I am so in love with the donut deliverer!

10.  The "I don't have a journal so I'll use Facebook" update.

**I'm at my wit's end!  Seriously, the dog puked on the carpet, the kids drew on the walls with permanent markers, and my Mother-in-law just chewed me out for typing in the address bar of her computer!"
**Last night I put on my swanky black thigh highs and slutty lingerie and did things to Dale that made the neighbors call the cops!

What I think is Facebook can be fun.  And irritating.  It's a love hate relationship.  Darn it!

Share your best/worst facebook pet peeves or status updates.  Or if you need to, confess to the above and resolve to STOP doing it! Thank you to Shell at Things I Can't Say for letting me Pour My Heart Out.  It's been a long six months.


  1. Oh, Reagan! This made me laugh! I'm sure I'm guilty of some of these at some point or another. :) Haha! The one that really drives me crazy...when people are constantly complaining on facebook about how busy their lives are and they have no time for anything. I just want to yell..."Get off facebook and get something accomplished." haha! :) I do tend to hide even real life friends if their status updates drive me crazy! Good news...I've never hidden you! :) Hope you haven't hidden me. Haha! :)

  2. Fantastic. The one that bothers me the most is the pity party one -- when people are obviously looking for sympathy. I don't give it. Ever.

    Stopping by from PYHO.

  3. I think you pretty much nailed all of mine. I may be guilty of one or two of them but mostly I use it as a way to keep my family up to date with our girls (the ones that don't live close).
    My biggest pet peeve is the "Pity Party" status. I completely ignore those and never look at the other comments people leave. Those people need more than FB...they need therapy ;-)

  4. Vaguebooking. I can't stand it. If you have something to say, just say it. Facebook is worth it just for the handful of friends who are witty and intelligent and generally have something worthwhile to say. I have become pretty good at skimming and can easily skip over posts by someone whom I know is not saying anything interesting. I still wish there was a sports filter. And a politics filter. And a religion filter.

    Seriously though, as someone who has a business that is run entirely through word of mouth AND Facebook, I find it hard to "unfriend" annoying people because each one of them is a potential business lead. So, that's why I hide a lot of them from my feed or I just learn to skim.

  5. i love your revere psychology comment thingy.

    I too have a love hate relationship with facebook. i think you captured them all.

    Stopping my from #pyho

  6. My biggest FB pet peeve is when people use their personal account to post things related to their business' fan page. If I wanted to buy Scentsy from you, I would have liked your fan page.

    Although I'm sure I probably do some annoying posts from time to time. :)

  7. I totally loved this! And it's SO true. I have one friend who's constantly posting "Send prayers please" and then when I get all worried and PM her, she's all, "I can't really go into details". I guess God knows what's going on so it's okay to be vague on FB. Whatever.

    I am guilty of sharing a recipe on FB when I find something that's, like, super delicious. But other than that, posting that my kids ate yet another bowl of mac-n-cheese...yeah, not so interesting.

  8. Hahahaha! You should put a warning on this post because I just shot lemonade out my nose while reading it. The 4 year old thought it was cool but the 1 year old did not appreciate the lemonade in her hair.

  9. the posts I hate are the ones that always seem to be parents complaining about their kids being home and not in school. I get it, I do, but I got so tired of it that I hid one person.

  10. I adore this post I find all of these things to be annoying. Lately my pet peeve is the constant updates about peoples kids. Little Jeffy is eating cherrios, little jeffy just poked a ball, Littly Jeffy made poopies. Enough already!

  11. I'm guilty of some of these. :) The ones I dislike the most are the hoax ones, like "Facebook is going to start charging". Ugh, please!

  12. This is awesome. I just deactivated my personal FB page yesterday.
    I was challenged by my husband, and I love a good challenge!
    Many of the statuses you listed are the why I loathe FB, I have one friend that likes to brag, but does it like you said "I'm digging for you to ask me about it" bragging update." I hate this one the most.

  13. i dont have nearly as many facebook pet peeves since i culled the herd. people I rolled my eyes at too often I ended up defriending. But for a couple of years, yes, i wanted to routinely spork my eyes out over statuses just like you mentioned!!!

  14. I don't know whether to love it or hate it when people post extremely detailed information about their physical state:

    "Got my period and now I'm super crampy. Add that to the diarrhea I'm still trying to get over and this is one crappy Tuesday".

  15. Fb can be SO annoying! I love it for blogging, but on the personal side- I cannot stand these types of updates!

  16. Hahahaha! This is so true! I love it. People post the most irritating crap and I can't help but retaliate by either writing passive aggressive status updates or acting just like them. "I just ate an Oreo! Yum! There are crumbs! LOL!"

    Oreo crumbs are not funny. SHUT! UP!

    The thing that kills me is the more mind-numbingly stupid the update is the more "likes" and comments it gets. But if anyone posts anything meaningful? Crickets.

    Thanks for the laugh.

  17. Love it! Especially, "I am so in love with the donut deliverer!"


{Reverse Psychology}
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(Did that reverse psychology work???)