Saturday, February 5, 2011

Love Is {NOT} ... Day 6

Where is the ME in Mommy

Love is not ... rude.
Love is not irritable or rude.  

Get your journal and start to list as many times as you can think of that you've been rude or irritable--either to your spouse, your children, or complete strangers.  Set a time and just list 'em for a minute or two.

Now, examine your list for common themes.  When are you the rudest or most irritable? Is it when you are stressed?  When you have your period?   When you are angry?  When you feel disconnected to your spouse or even yourself?

Really look at your common themes.  Are any of these "reasons" really a good reason to be rude or irritable?  Can you change the circumstances so you won't be so rude and irritable?

Consider these biblical reminders:

It is better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a irritable wife~ Proverbs 21:9
Fool shows their annoyance at once, but the wise overlook insults~Proverbs 12:16
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger~Proverbs 15:1 

This challenge can be uncomfortable for both spouse; however, honest dialogue is a key to communication and intimacy.

Today, ask your spouse to tell you 5 "things" that make him uncomfortable when he is around you.  

Listen to him without being judgemental, angry, rude, defensive, or irritable.

Commit to work on your weaknesses. 

DO NOT force your husband to listen to "5 things I don't like about you" unless he invites the feedback. And then, only tell him in a spirit of love, not anger.

Do the same activity.  Ask your children to tell you what mommy does really well.  Then have them tell you what they wish mommy did better. 


  1. It's not easy loving your man. I think you know I've been doing something similar at my blog, and I'm really enjoying it. :) Good luck on your challenge.

  2. I'm often irritable, I take it as a pain thing, because of my chronic condition I'm in constant pain, in the hospital they ask for a number between one and ten I'd say a daily 5 or 6 sometimes 7 or 8 so it kinda makes me grumpy. I do try really hard though to be calm, surprise pain just makes me upset though, like if someone pokes me to get my attention or grabs me in a way that causes pain.

    Does the bible have any wise words for a husband? I notice there are lots of irritable wife is bad but what about men? Are there bibical laws about how they should treat their wife?

  3. @Pam--Biblically speaking, there are some guidelines for husbands. The most often sited is "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it [her]" (Eph. 5:25). Jesus loved the church with a self-forgetting and self-sacrificing love, even unto death. This is the way Christian men should love their wives.


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