Wednesday, January 19, 2011

{Guest Blogger} What I Think About: Putting the L.O.V.E. in Marriage

Hello y'all.  This is Sarah.

I was excited when Reagan asked me to do another guest blog because my blog is generally all about recipes, kitchen tips and crafts – meaning I rarely get to write anything about being a wife. Well, with the exception of writing about my husband’s favorite foods. :)

So today I thought I’d share with you a few tips on how to keep your marriage one of love, respect, friendship and peace.

These things are the top three best tips I’ve learned from other couples with stable and happy marriages.

#1 – Don’t Ever go to Bed Upset.
Whatever issue you’re upset/mad/cranky/annoyed about, work through it now. You don’t want to wake up feeling resentment towards your spouse and ignoring it will only make the argument worse later on.

One of my Mom’s friends once told me that when she and her husband got married, they promised that if they ever had an argument they couldn’t reach an agreement on, they would count to ten and then simultaneously say “I’m sorry.”

When my husband and I were coming back from our honeymoon, I told him about that and we agreed that the last thing we would say to each other every night before falling asleep would be “I love you.” Because, trust me, it is dang hard saying that if you’re pissed off about something.

And I can tell you that there’s never been a night where we’ve gone to sleep upset or forgotten to say “I love you.”

#2 – The Code.

You know how awesome inside jokes are between you and your man? Well, wouldn’t it be fun to have a secret code just between you two?

My parents decided early on in their marriage that they wanted a silent way to say “I love you” when the situation made it hard to verbalize it: during a meeting, at a party, across the room, etc. As a kid I thought it was really weird and embarrassing to see my parents brush their index finger lightly across the bridge of their nose at seemingly random moments.

My husband and I have a different code; we tap three times with our fingers and then the other respond with four taps. So if you ever see me drumming my fingers on the table, it’s not out of boredom.

#3 – Hug, Kiss and 10 Minutes.

During my bridal shower, someone gave me Dr. Laura’s book “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.”

It’s fantastic. I read it during our post-honeymoon roadtrip to our new home in Boston.

This is the bit of advice that really stuck with me from it: When your husband gets home from work, greet him with a smile, hug and an awesome kiss. Then, let him do whatever he wants for the next 10-20 minutes.


This isn’t the time to bombard him with your problems/issues of the day, or talk about the kids, or the time to ask him to take out the trash, etc. If he wants to watch ESPN, let him instead of getting annoyed because you haven’t been able to so much as go to the bathroom by yourself all day. Let him play with the Wii or Xbox360.

Encourage him to go unwind and relax. Because, let’s face it, you want your home to be a place of peace and joy.

If your husband knows that he’s going to get a loving greeting and unwind time, he’s going to rush home from work and love being there.

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