Wednesday, January 5, 2011

{Guest Blogger} What I Think About: What it Means to be a Woman

A big Wyoming welcome to Pam, our guest blogger of the day.  Pam is the U.K. blogger behind  Geek Chic.  I "met" Pam through the 30/30 challenge and instantly became a follower because of her staple belief.
Pam states, "I firmly believe a woman can never have too many boots."
Sign me up for that!

Anyhow, Pam followed WITMIM? back--a somewhat "weird" follower in that she is not a wife or a mom.  And yet her submission of this guest blog just really spoke to my heart.  She isn't a part of the secret society of women with rugrats and diamond rings but she is still trying to find that balance of what it means to be a woman. 
If you read nothing else today, read this and ponder.  (Oh, and giggle at the slight language differences.  Even in print I LOVE an English accent! Ha!)

There’s really no need to say that now being a woman is more difficult than it ever was.  It’s not just about beauty magazines either.  Everyone has a say in what it means to be a woman and this 25 year old is getting really peeved by all the contradictory information. 

We’re supposed to be powerful yet nurturing, slim yet curvy, smart yet not too smart, stay at home Mum’s who go to work too. The media tells us that they love natural looking women whilst advertising hair colours only imagined by sugar high pixies and bright red lipstick and then they tell us that natural beauty involves a lot of mascara and giant eyelashes. 
 It’s crazy and it’s really no wonder than teenagers are so confused.
I’m a few years past my teenage years and yet I keep being told I’m not a woman. I’m unmarried and don’t have children so I’ve not lived enough to be a woman. With marriage and children comes an invite into the sacred group known as women. But of course, if I pout and throw a hissy fit I’m told “You’re a grown woman, act like it” somehow I’m not even sure how to be a woman anymore.
Sex in the City promotes promiscuity and feminists tell us this is okay because we’ve reached a time of sexual freedom, but what if I don’t want to throw myself at every good looking man I see? Is it really so difficult to imagine that actually being in love is more important than the perfect orgasm?
I find it so hard to imagine what I’m going to do when I get married and maybe have a kid. I believe I can be a good Mum whilst working and my government backs me up but at the same time there is a lot of public pressure concerning children who didn’t have a stay at home mum...apparently they’re all delinquents. I doubt that but what do I know? I’m just a kid still. 

So what is a woman? I know women who are innocent and some who are not. I know strong women and weak women, women who love men and women who don’t. I know Mum’s and Gran’s and Aunts and Cousins, women who have been in the army and women who are fighting essay deadlines and exam stress. Is it fair to say that a woman must be strong? That excludes a lot of women. What about those who are smart? I was once told to get a man I needed to dumb myself down. Clearly I ignored that advice; I found a man who loves me for who I am not who people think I should be.
When you’re young people tell you that you can’t be in love. After all you’re young, what do you know about love? I still get told that but there are women younger than me who are married and have children (some don’t but they still have a ring that gives their love validity) does that mean their love isn’t genuine? No, it doesn’t. Somehow an engagement ring and a wedding band means that they are serious about their love whereas not having these things means you will sit there and smile when people make assumptions that you’ll break up soon. It’s madness yet because I’m “young” it’s okay for people to assume I don’t know a thing about love. 

Maybe one day I’ll figure it out. Who knows but somehow I doubt that’ll be the day I get married or give birth. Perhaps I’ve already figured it out, at least until the next advert tells me I haven’t.
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  1. Well put! My sister is dealing with the same thing. She is a year younger than me and isn't married, while I am married with a child and yet I am treated like an adult and she is still treated like a teen.

  2. Great post Pam! Thanks Reagan for posting this! It's so silly how everyone has a different idea of what it is to be a woman...I think WE should define what it is, not the men in this world...or the media


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