Wednesday, November 24, 2010

What I Think About--Mom Friends

As Thanksgiving rolls around everyone starts to ponder what they are thankful for.

Obvious answers come to mind.  I'm thankful for my husband, children and family.  I'm thankful for a safe car, a warm house, and good health.  I'm thankful for a job I love and blog readers.  I'm thankful for spiritual freedom, the blood of Jesus, and my right to an education.

But this year something else came to my mind.

What I am most thankful for this year are my mom friends.

If you've ever read Things I Can't Say, then you've heard of Motherbitches.


Motherbitches are what happens when nasty junior high girls grow up and become moms.

*shudder*

Shell and other bloggers have done a great job of telling you "You might be a Motherbitch if ..."and I'd encourage you to follow the links and read them (for a good laugh or in case you are afraid you might be one...)

There are a lot of motherbitches out there and to be honest, they are the reason a lot of women don't have many mom friends.

I can't count the number of times I've heard people say, "Oh I tried a mom's group but I couldn't handle the gossip" or "Other moms are so judgmental." 

I really feel bad for people who haven't made good mom friends because my mom friends are very often the single factor in my life that keep me sane.

About four years ago I co-started a mom's group with three other gals: Jenny (our fearless leader), Beth, and Alicia. We get together for playdates, craft nights, and girl's night out.

We've celebrated pregnancies, warmed new houses, supported deployments, mourned miscarriages, counseled marital problems and taken the Twilight premiers by storm.

Our group varies by religion, socio-economic status, political affiliation, and ethnicity.  Some moms work outside of the home full time, part time, or not at all.  We have biological children and adopted children.  There's not a single motherbitch in the group!

We are not the same but we make it work.

At no time did we develop "rules" in our group.  For some reason we've all just clicked and common sense has kept us from forcing our opinions too strongly, belittling parenting styles, and talking smack about other moms (or other children).

I love my mom friends.
  • I love that some days my house is a wreck and these women don't care.  They'll even help me clean it after the kids wreck it more.
  • I love that I can be myself with them and even though I'm TOTALLY overwhelming, they don't seem to mind. 
  • I love that my children have grown up with their children.
  • I love that what I say in confidence to them, stays a secret.
  • I love that when I'm having a bad day, they understand.
  • I love that when I flip my lid, they've have been there.
  • I love that we can talk about poop and sex and knitting without it feeling weird.
  • I love that there is someone there for me when I need them.
  • I love that we all have strengths and weaknesses that we are willing to share/own up to.
So many women go through life without the kind of support system I have.  They navigate motherhood on their own.  I am so thankful that I have so many special women who care for my family and me.

What I think is that I have been abundantly blessed by my mom friends. 

A special dedication to: Beth, Jenny, Sarah L., Krista, Jenn, Sarah M., Kelly, Sarah K., Kim, Alicia, Rachael, Andrea, Amanda, Rene, and Kristen.

You ladies make me a better mom and woman and I wouldn't want to ride the mom roller coaster without you!

11 comments:

  1. I, too, am thankful for the wonderful ladies in our mom's group! I have been missing you all so much since school started and our schedules are so different now, but I do love and appreciate all the times we have had together (and will hopefully continue to have together even as our kids grow up)! :)

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  2. Oh my goodness! I am so happy I read this today...I attributed the "motherbitch" problem to be living in New Jersey (oopps)...This makes so much sense! I will keep praying for a good group of mom friends!!!

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  3. ::Tear:: I am also thankful for the moms group. I'm sure you all know how hard it is to be a new mom in a new town. Having these get togethers has saved me, and I really appreciate all of you!

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  4. The hardest part of moving from Cheyenne has been missing my mom friends!!! I've tried finding groups as welcoming as Cheyenne, and as you wrote, there are a lot of Motherbitches! Having a group of women one can TRULY be herself around is so incredibly important and I too am very thankful to have been a part of this group!!

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  5. Great post! I am thankful for my best friend Kristin whom I have been friends with for about 12 years and we are now mom friends as well. I also love all the mom friends I have met at my MOPS group. They are all great women/mothers and have been a great blessing.

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  6. I'm so thankful for moms group as well. It has been so nice to branch out and meet moms from every walk of life. I'm not sure how it worked out that we have such a great group, but I'm very thankful that it did.

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  7. I'm thankful for the mom's group too! It made the move to Cheyenne so much better than any other new city we've lived in.

    And I'm thankful for mom friends who will let me drop my daughter off for a couple hours while they're in the middle of getting ready for Thanksgiving. :)

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  8. Can I please have your mom friends??
    I had some great mom friends where I used to live...but moved 13 hours away 1.5months ago...and haven't met a single person here yet (I now live in a town of 3000)...it can be extremely lonely and frusterating...I NEED good mom friends!! not motherbitches!!

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  9. I'm not even kidding you, I was pondering the many things I was thankful for this morning as I was folding laundry and Mom's Group was on my mind!!! As several of the other Mom's, we moved here knowing no one and w/ a 2 year old and pregnant deciding to go to the Easter egg hunt 2009 was the best decision I made!!! You gals have helped me out tremendously and I'm thankful for all of you. Now that we've been part of the group for a while, Dawson has totally bonded and formed great friendships w/ your kids and when I say "we've got Mom's group" this week he lights up like a Christmas tree. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!!!!

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  10. Thank you, Reagan! I love our group! I can't even imagine how hard life would be without so many people to lean on. I feel very lucky that I have avoided "Mombitches" because I have had such a wonderful playgroup that is completely free of them :) I am very grateful for each of our moms! I am also very grateful for their children because my girls are growing up surrounded by good friends and developing strong relationships. I hope these friendships last until they have to deal with junior high girls!

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  11. Dear ladies,

    Thank you so much for your loving feedback. I'm so grateful our group meets all of our needs.

    @Jillian and Natasha--I'll pray for good friends for you. I'd share mine but I REALLY don't want to
    :) You could always move to WY! Ha!

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