Wednesday, October 20, 2010

What I Think About--Being a Husband/Father

I plead guilty.

Every now and then I get really jealous of my husband.

He doesn't know how good he has it.

He doesn't have to cook or clean.  He's never had sore nipples or labor pains.  He gets out of the house every day and has interesting conversations with interesting people.  He always has a chance to shower and watch football.  He gets to go out for lunch with friends business partners.  People are impressed with his career.  He never feels like he has to defend what he did all day.  He never gets mistaken as some lazy person who watches soaps and eats chocolate all day.

There are days when wiping noses, butts, and tears really gets me down and I am jealous of how easy Matt's career life is.

A few weeks ago I heard a song that pretty much convicted me of my jealous feelings.  It opened my eyes to the unseen burdens my man might be feeling as a husband and father.

He doesn't have to cook or clean but he does have to work long hours to financially provide the house I clean and the food I cook.

He had to put up with me when I had sore nipples and labor pains (and I should mention he got up with me every time, every night for the first six weeks of our daughter's life).

He gets out of the house every day but he often fights with those interesting people and he has missed huge mile markers in our children's lives (first steps, first words).

He has to shower every day because he works everyday.  And he doesn't get to watch football when I'm honest with myself.  Football games last four hours.  Watching highlights for twenty minutes does not count.

He does get to go out for lunch but business lunches spent discussing cases and negotiations aren't exactly leisurely (plus, that's one less meal I have to make).

People take advantage of his career (Oh you're a lawyer, how about some free legal advice...)

He does have to prove what he did--every hour of every day.  It's called "ethical billing."  Accounting for every minute--clients expect it.

He doesn't get mistaken as lazy but he does get mistaken as a heartless, ruthless attorney (insert lawyer joke here).

When I stop and try to look at things from his perspective, Matt's life isn't quite as easy as I assume.  He worries about providing.  He worries about doing his job with excellence.  He is burdened with the task of being a strong, ethical, and dedicated professional while being a good father and husband.  He has to find the balance between providing needs and wants and not chasing things to feel satisfied in a consumer-driven world.

Looking at my man through that lens makes me think that maybe I've got it good. Maybe my life is pretty easy.  I mean, I don't have to shower and no one cares.  I get to eat lunch with the two most delightful children.  My house cleaning tasks can be done in a day and then it's on to the fun, most people applaud me for being a SAHM and even tell me I have "the toughest job," I actually could watch soaps and eat chocolate all day if I wanted ...

I'm the first to say that men out there need to step up and help around they house.  They need to encourage their wives to passionately pursue their hobbies.  They need to stop whining about how they can't clean up poop/vomit because the smell makes them nauseated (as though women love the scent and relish the opportunity to clean up chunks of puke ...).

But ladies, we need to encourage our husbands.  We need to give them time alone to pursue their passions.  We need to stop whining about all we want (that purse, a new car, those boots).   We need to work as a team.  We need each other.

What I think about being a husband/father is that it is tough stuff.

And it's time we express gratitude for our husbands and pray for God to keep leading them, as they lead us.

What can you do TODAY to let your husband know how grateful you are for all he does?


  1. Does this mean I'm forgiven for forgetting to take out the garbage this morning?

    Thanks Reagan. I feel humbled and loved...

  2. @Anonymous--Concerning the garbage--See the paragraph on men "stepping up." :) Forgiven of course :)

  3. Can I just say how much the lawyer jokes and comments drive me nuts? Especially with Education - people are always talking about "those lawyers" screwing things up.

    But I agree, being a husband and father isn't any easier than being a wife and mother. It's just different. :)


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