Wednesday, August 4, 2010

What I Think About--Getting Away

A few weeks ago I read a charming little blog about a husband and wife who got to leave for a week and go on vacation without their children. Sounds dreamy, right?

The blogger, though, had to admit that she and her husband really missed their kids and that though they loved their time away, it was hard to look at the pool and know that kids would love it.  Hard to be at the beach without wishing she could hear their laughter ...

This really got me thinking about getting away.

We got away a lot as kids.  My parents took us traveling everywhere and it was a blast.  Those car fights, hideous hotels, and bathroom breaks along the side of the road are some of my best memories. But my parents got away without us a lot too (and I should mention here they've been married for nearly 41 years).  There were weekends away and weeks away.  I remember as a kid feeling a little duped but I must admit, I get it now.

It is very important to have quality time with your children. But it is equally important to have time alone with your spouse.   After all, one day your darling children will grow up and move out and you're going to want to still know that person you've been parenting with for 18 years.  Ladies, just as we make dang sure we spend enough quality time with our children, we must spend quality time with our husbands!

Part of being a healthy parent is balancing time with children, with your spouse, and with yourself.  Though I often feel guilty when I crave "alone time," I really don't think that constantly sacrificing myself or my marriage for my children is want to model.  I want to model balance and I can't do that unless I actually strive for balance! I can't expect my children to grow up and passionately pursue their dreams and purpose if I don't lead the way.

It is easy to feel guilty for wanting to get away.
It is easy to not make your marriage a priority.
It is easy to make your kids the center of your universe.
I'm saying these things are easy ...
 not right.

A few weeks ago Matt and I took a weekend to ourselves.  It was great to go hiking and out for dinner and to sleep in.  At the end of the weekend, I was ready to see my kids.  And Matt and I returned to them totally refreshed.

Here we are on the summit of Flattop.  We were supposed to climb the 
mountain behind us too but the weather rolled in.  

Yes, your children would have liked the pool.
Yes, your children would probably love the hotel.
Yes, your children probably would have loved the fries at that restaurant.
But here's the important one.
Yes, your children want your marriage to succeed.

Take a moment and get away.  Celebrate the foundation of your family--your marriage (and then plan a little family trip).

What I think is my parents were right children need to see their parents privately getting away to spend time building their intimate relationship. 

BTW--get aways can be cheap!  Go camping.  Get a motel room off priceline.  Switch homes with a friend for the night ...

Do you have any cheap/easy get away ideas to share? The comment line is all yours!

5 comments:

  1. This is so important for a good healthy marriage. We try to get away without the kids for at least one weekend a year. It is a huge hassle driving the kids 4 hours away to my parent's house before we can even start our vacation, but some of the best times of our marriage have come from our "private" vacations. We've found that we don't have to go big or expensive - we just have to spend some time without the kids. It makes us better parents and marriage partners.

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  2. I understand how parents feel when they get away without their kids but I also agree 100% that your marriage should come first. Time for just the two of you is very important.

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  3. As a kid, I never understood why my parents would go out to dinner by themselves or with my grandparents and leave us all home. It would make me cranky and think they didn't want me around.

    Now, I totally get it.

    Anyhow, I love checking out rentals on www.vrbo.com because you can rent an entire condo or house for usually the same price you would pay for a hotel room. And it's not vacation for me unless I'm able to cook. :)

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  4. I completely understand this. Chris and I haven't been on a real vacation since our honeymoon, 3 years ago! We finally got over the guilt and are going away next weekend. We can hardly wait. Our relationship needs this break so bad it's not even funny. I'm glad that you and Matt were able to get away and had a good time. Our countdown is on!

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  5. We stay at home and send the girls to Grandma's house. It's super cheap and non-stressful because there's no planning or packing!

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