If you think high school is tough, with its cliques and mean girls, you probably haven't visited the ever-widening world of mommy blogs where women bully and bad-mouth each other in posts that are more personal and spiteful than your likely to find on sports or entertainment blogs. Or on blogs written by dads.The basic premise of this article is based on contentions over what and how women should share about mothering via blogs.
*Sigh* Oh the drama.
For as long as I can remember, there have been value judgements made about women based on how they mother. The article states that for a woman, "a huge part of their self-worth is tied up in their mothering abilities and skills." And leave it to moms to make themselves feel better about their abilities by rejoicing in the not-so-stellar abilities of other moms. "For eons, moms have judged each other. They've whispered about who is breast feeding, who is baking cookies, who is providing the best after-school and summer vacation options, who is the best mom." While these value-judgements used to be made between gossiping friends, now these claims are shared for all to see on the internet. Awesome.
There are anti-mom blog women out there (such as the now defunct pooponpeeps.com). Anti-mom blog women fall under 2 categories (near as I can tell).
- Group #1--These are moms. They love to be moms. They don't mind us being moms. But they want more from a blog than cute stories, craft ideas, and menu plans. These women don't want to know what we did at the park or how many teeth our children have. They want to read thoughtful and edgy posts that have nothing to do with poop or time-outs. Fair enough--I understand this anti-mom blog group (though I'm clearly not a member!).
- Group #2--They are moms. They love to be moms. They want us to be moms. The problem with "them" is they want us to mother THEIR way. As in, their discipline, their menus, their values, their "I'm seeking the imaginary mom-of-the-year award" June Cleaver lifestyle. And if moms like me challenge traditional methods or myths about motherhood (i.e. if I let on to readers that being a mom can be hard), we are branded as public enemy #1 which results in having our marriages, parenting-styles and womanhood totally bashed (in the name of being classy, apparently).
If you've ever read a mom blog (including mine) then you've probably read some non-sugar coated stuff about being a mom. I'm the first to say I chose to be a mom. I chose to be a SAHM. I am living the life I chose. That does not make my life perfect. I don't wake up to rainbows and butterflies. Most days are amazing but some can be bad. Is it wrong to admit that being a mom "isn't all milk and cookies?" Is it awful for me to admit that sometimes my kids drive me nuts (or that I want a kid-free day)? Does being real about who I am as a women, a wife, and a mom make less of a mommy?
One of the biggest lies I see about moms is that all we can be is moms. Am I the only mom who wants to be more than a mom? I mean, the whole point of my blog is to celebrate and balance the duplicitous roles women take as wife, woman, and mom. I just don't think it is wrong for me to share ways I try to make my marriage spicy, to give my viewpoints on subjects that I'm passionate about or to share what trends I'm digging. Am I wrong here?
Remember my post on keepin' it real? That's my goal here. This blog is my free therapy. It is a place for women in all aspects of life to come together to share and learn and encourage. It is a place to be real--good and bad.
That being said, what I write here might not appeal to you. You might not understand it or me. It might be offensive. If you don't like what I write, please know you have my permission to unfollow or unsubscribe to this blog immediately. I'll be honest that is stinks to lose followers but if it's time to move on, please feel free to move about blog-land.
This blog is all about encouraging women to be the best moms they can be but to also be more than moms--to be inspired women and passionate wives (yes, this sometimes means sex).
What I think is this blog is a Mom-Blog bully free zone.
If you are an anti-mom blog bully, please take your snarky comments and sanctimonious "Mom of the Year" awards elsewhere because I effectively remove my name from the nomination list (and pursuant to my comment clause in the About section, I'll remove unhelpful, disrespectful, and drama-laden comments immediately).
Anyone out there in blog land run into blog bullies? How did you handle it?