From where I stand, Murphy's Law ain't got nothin' on Mom Laws.
Since I became a mom so many events have become truisms that I take for granted.
Here are examples of Mom Laws around my house.
- Children must vomit, wet the bed, of have a bloody nose within twelve hours of having their bed sheets laundered.
- Only freshly mopped kitchen floors will be spilled on.
- The one day my children sleep until 8, I will be up by 5:45.
- Nothing mechanical ever works when it is needed.
- A car's leather interior is a magnet for muddy feet.
- Children never say a "bad" word unless a grandparent or judgmental adult is present.
- Children never throw tantrums until their mom receives the compliment of having well-behaved children.
- As soon as we get home from the store, I remember that my children don't actually want the toy they've been begging for.
- Children never have runny noses unless A) you are wearing a clean shirt for them to wipe their noses on or B) you are completely out of kleenx and thus have to do a "mom wipe." You know what I'm talking about.
- Children only get sick when there is an event or outing you can't possibly miss.
- Children are never to full to finish their dessert.
- Moms never pee alone.
- Moms are not allowed to enjoy dessert, snacks, or special drinks without feeling guilty for not sharing with their children (and you know what, sometimes I don't want to share my cookie!).
- You'll never find a pacifier when you need it.
- There are not enough batteries in the house. Ever. This goes double for bananas.
- Children think its a thrill to pee in the dark during the daytime but are terrified of going into the night-light lit bathroom at night.
- One tiny little four year old will take up a whole king sized bed if given the chance.
- It is impossible to keep a sliding glass door kid-print free.
There is no laundry pile deep enough, no mess big enough, no bodily fluid gross enough to take away the joy of being a mom.
My niece Ella doesn't mind testing Mom Law limits!
What Mom Laws guide your momiverse?