Monday, June 14, 2010

Mom Laws

Have you ever heard the old adage "Murphy's Law"?



From where I stand, Murphy's Law ain't got nothin' on Mom Laws.

Since I became a mom so many events have become truisms that I take for granted.

Here are examples of Mom Laws around my house.
  • Children must vomit, wet the bed, of have a bloody nose within twelve hours of having their bed sheets laundered. 
  • Only freshly mopped kitchen floors will be spilled on.
  • The one day my children sleep until 8, I will be up by 5:45.
  • Nothing mechanical ever works when it is needed.
  • A car's leather interior is a magnet for muddy feet.
  • Children never say a "bad" word unless a grandparent or judgmental adult is present.
  • Children never throw tantrums until their mom receives the compliment of having well-behaved children.
  • As soon as we get home from the store, I remember that my children don't actually want the toy they've been begging for.
  • Children never have runny noses unless A) you are wearing a clean shirt for them to wipe their noses on or B) you are completely out of kleenx and thus have to do a "mom wipe."  You know what I'm talking about. 
  • Children only get sick when there is an event or outing you can't possibly miss.
  • Children are never to full to finish their dessert.
  • Moms never pee alone.
  • Moms are not allowed to enjoy dessert, snacks, or special drinks without feeling guilty for not sharing with their children (and you know what, sometimes I don't want to share my cookie!).
  • You'll never find a pacifier when you need it.
  • There are not enough batteries in the house.  Ever.  This goes double for bananas.
  • Children think its a thrill to pee in the dark during the daytime but are terrified of going into the night-light lit bathroom at night.
  • One tiny little four year old will take up a whole king sized bed if given the chance.
  • It is impossible to keep a sliding glass door kid-print free.
Though I sometimes get bogged down by these Mom Law truisms I try to remember the Mom Law that matters most to me:

There is no laundry pile deep enough, no mess big enough, no bodily fluid gross enough to take away the joy of being a mom.

My niece Ella doesn't mind testing Mom Law limits!


What Mom Laws guide your momiverse?

12 comments:

  1. My children have sudden urges to be on whatever surface I am trying to vacuum/sweep/mop. Same goes for beds I need to change. Any attempt to remove them from the room/bed will result in a tremendous tantrum.

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  3. Lol! This is great! For one of our recent events, our Miss Ava decided not to crack ONE smile for pictures we PAYED to have taken. And even though I bribed and bribed with a new toy, it didn't work....that is UNTIL we got in the car to leave and I decided to snap a photo myself with my phone because the girls were dressed so cute and I couldn't resist (even if she wasn't going to smile) And you know what the stinker says to me? "Mommy, I get a toy if I smile ONE more time." and then I get my smile with my rinky dink camera phone....ugh! That's how it goes.......:)

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  4. @Rachael--Is that tremendous tantrum done by YOU or your children? FYI, I just cleaned the back of the kitchen chairs and Paxton's immediate response was to wipe peanut butter goo hands all of them. Mom law.

    @Amy--Lol! We just had Pax's 1 year photos done and the same thing happened. Not one tiny little smile until the photographer left. Luckily the photographer is AMAZING and managed to get some super-stellar shots of him anyway.

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  5. OMG, this is so true!!! It should be printed out and handed to new moms in the hospital right after delivery, so they know what to expect.

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  6. In my house, they always have to poop when I'm trying to prepare food to eat...or I'm just sitting down to eat. Can you say "loss of appetite?"

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  7. @Shelly--You should write the book to be handed to new moms. I'll contribute this piece.

    @Jenny--ah yes. Poop. One of our poop laws is that all children must poop within seconds of having to leave for an appointment we are already late for.

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  8. So true. One of mine is everytime I do Belles hair, it is destroyed before we leave the house.

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  9. You know how once in a great while ALL the laundry in the house gets done in one day? The sheets, towels, clothes, etc. The few times I'm able to accomplish this, Lillian inevitably wets her pants right as the last load is in the dryer. It's almost an impressive ability on her part.

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  10. How about, babies only sneeze when they have a mouthful of peas. Sudden loud noises occur just as you rocked the baby to sleep. The more you need sleep, the shorter their nap will be. And how about this one: their symptoms disappear when you get them in front of the pediatrician.

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  11. Yes! there are never enough bananas! So true! And I am right there with you on the food sharing. And they only get hungrier as they grow! On the rare occasion that I make a special treat just for me, my oldest (hungriest) will hover and drool until I throw scraps at him. It's sad really. Poor kid...reduced to begging. LOL

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  12. @Sarah M--I feel that way about MY hair.

    @Sarah L--We have the same issue except it's the beds that get wet.

    @Melissa--lol! I was rolling with the doctor one!

    @Crazymom--stay strong and keep the dessert. Better to teach them now that begging doesn't pay of ... :)

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