Friday, February 26, 2010

Frickin'

When I was in high school we had this teacher who wouldn't let us say "suck" and in the early nineties, everything sucked.  This teacher's solution was to say "hoover"--like the vacuum that, well, sucks--literally.  Can you see me saying "My hair hoovers today?"  Not likely.  The gal who wants to make "fetch" a cool word in Mean Girls totally reminds me of this situation.  Anyhow, this always irritated me because the intent of what to say was the same even if the word wasn't (as in, if there wasn't an adult here I'd use a much nastier word to describe this assignment).

Fast forward to my teaching days.  My students always said "crap" and I got into a heap of trouble for allowing it (really, crap was nice compared to what I heard in the halls). Again my thought was this.  1.  It is better than other words they could be saying (like the ones in the halls) and 2.  Even if they say "Oh crumb" instead of "oh crap," the intent is the same.

I'm going somewhere with this.  Trust me.

On Wednesday M.E. and I had one of those days.  She whined.  I lost my temper. There was yelling and much needed alone time for cool offs.  But I definitely remember stomping around saying "I'm so frickin' mad!"  I really don't use the big F word so frickin' is my stand in F word (like suck and crap).  Perfectly harmless ... right?

Last night after I finished my run I found Matt and he was in a fit of giggles.  He and M.E. had been playing pretend in her room and she started stomping about saying, "I'm so frickin' mad!"

Oops.

It didn't sound quite so harmless coming out of her mouth (though we could laugh at her amazing portrayal of mom).  

Of course God chooses this moment to remind me of my Bible study.  I'm in 1 Kings reading a whole list, starting with Solomon, of families that continue to do wrong and sin because the sons are following the lead of their fathers.  Funny how I only think of the "train a child in the way he should go" verse when I'm doing something right!

What a delightful but convicting reminder that my children will learn about faith and trust and obedience by my words and actions.

5 comments:

  1. My 2yr. old is constantly a reminder of how I might need to shape-up, because she doesn't hesitate to mimic me. I've noticed lately, though (like last night) when I get angry with our oldest (who's 11) for repeated disobedience, I tend to loose my temper.

    As a mother, I feel like i am trying my best, but I'm the same way (only thinking of that verse when I'm doing something right)and I know deep down when I am not doing my best. When I lost my temper with my oldest daughter, I was not doing my best. I felt a sea of guilt run through me all night last night for how I acted and I thought to myself (like I do many times) "Is this how I want her to see me. Disciplining out of anger instead of with patience?"

    Well the answer to my own question is, "no". But, as I've talked about in one of my blogs, apologizing to our kids also teaches them that we know when we shouldn't have acted a certain way and that we are stepping up and apologizing for it. This teaches them to do the same.

    We are all sinners and will continue to sin, just thank God that we are forgiven and thank goodness for our little ones who SHOW us how we shouldn't act :)

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  2. Amy--Amen to that! I agree that apologizing to our children is an amazing way to show humility and love. Thanks for the insightful comment that our kids show us how not to act (especially in grocery stores!). Happy Friday.

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  3. Reagan, I first want to say that because I view you as a great mom (from what I've read and heard) it relieves me that you have moments with your kids when you lose your temper. I am sure they are few and far between, but I'm glad that even YOU have those moments.
    As for what your kids pick up, I've found my regret in what my kids will say to EACHOTHER sometimes. Emerson, for instance, asked Braeden to get something for her yesterday. When he told her no thanks, she yelled, "Braeden, get that right NOW!" And, of course, I corrected her and said that wasn't nice, nor the way to get something. Then the lightbulb turned on... had I just done that same thing yesterday? Yep!
    Amy, I appreciate your comment, too. It's good to keep ourselves in check and thank goodness for the Holy Spirit for helping us keep ourselves in check and nudging us when we find ourselves acting in anger and not love and patience.
    Anyway, thanks ladies!

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  4. Ah yes. Lil overheard me saying "Oh crap!" after having messed something up in the kitchen (of course) and every so often she remembers it when she messes something up and I heard her tiny, two year old, voice saying "Oh crap!" It isn't the worst thing in the world to say but it sounds terrible coming from someone her size.

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  5. Sandra--Nope. No mom halo here. I definitely have those "lose my temper" moments that make me want to move to Jamaica and sell grass skirts for a living.

    Sarah--I agree that some words sound normal from adults but not from kiddos. Hopefully no "real" f-bombs are waiting around the corner :)

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